Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school....

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 22:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 415

You deserved it 5 039

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/11/2010 08:01 - Mexico

Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 398

You deserved it 65 815

Knight

By Racked - 01/03/2016 18:00 - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 218

You deserved it 1 920

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 651

You deserved it 60 063

By Mike - 21/02/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 903

You deserved it 7 650

By tigerbyrn - 30/05/2016 15:35 - Canada - Scarborough

Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 052

You deserved it 2 085

By notacreep - 16/05/2009 08:39 - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 197

You deserved it 4 068

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 098

You deserved it 10 949

By arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 320

You deserved it 68 674

By Noname - 11/03/2009 20:29 - United States

Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 980

You deserved it 9 593

By topfisherman - 05/02/2010 20:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 765

You deserved it 42 232

sarbear293 4

Sunday 22 January 2012 2:27

So.. Is it true?

chasingmountains 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 2:31

Good things come in small packages

Comments

asherm 15

Sunday 22 January 2012 3:58

Ouch! Maybe you're fine, but it's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.

mama2b3 20

Sunday 22 January 2012 4:00

I'm sorry OP :/ Even if it's true she didn't need to announce it, that's pretty insensitive.

lmgk 0

Monday 23 January 2012 8:26

Exactly

jbsington 8

Sunday 22 January 2012 4:02

Doesn't matter, had sex.

keriganlaynee 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 4:08

Drovee....!

BellaMarta 19

Sunday 22 January 2012 4:22

Hah, someone did that to my ex.

GoW_Chick 14

Sunday 22 January 2012 4:55

Is that why he's your ex...?

BellaMarta 19

Monday 23 January 2012 3:14

Good question.

lostdiadem1 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 4:27

That's when you tell her she's fat

jackelope13 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 4:48

She's a bitch

06rubiandrea_fml 5

Sunday 22 January 2012 14:21

No she is not! She just told the truth...

sassypants93 17

Sunday 22 January 2012 14:40

...in a bitchy way.

06rubiandrea_fml 5

Sunday 22 January 2012 14:49

as I said before,only the truth hurts...that said,she is not a bitch because she told him what she thinks...he should learn to accept himself as he is..