Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said, "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML
Today, I called my mom for her birthday. She started talking about an infomercial she'd seen for a combo bidet-and-dryer, and how she would like to get one so she can feel "fresh down there" without worrying about getting bits of toilet paper on her nether regions. I can't un-hear this. FML
Today, the water in my shower wouldn't drain so I used a snake to unclog it. I pulled almost a full foot of nasty hair and gunk out of the drain. I just moved in, and the previous owner was an elderly woman. I just pulled a foot of old lady pubes out of my drain. FML
Today, at the breakfast table my mum asked me what I thought about the plumber who came to our place a couple of weeks ago. I told her that I thought he was really cute and how hard I tried to flirt with him, she nodded and told me that he is her new boyfriend and might move in with us soon. FML
Today, I was watching TV when the Jim Beam commercial came on with the hot girl saying how she likes her men fat and hairy. My mom walked in and said, "See honey, you still have a chance." FML
Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened, I slipped and fell in the shower, and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered, "Well, she's masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!" FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, my wife complained that the shower was draining slowly, so I took the drain cover off and snaked the drain. I pulled out a giant blob of reeking, stinking, rotten filth. My wife saw it and screamed. Now she insists she can still smell it on my hands and won't let me near her. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
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Top comments
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I think I would die laughing if my mom said that.
ceccles628 6
I'm pretty sure that commercial has some sexual undertones
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Comments (73)
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I think I would die laughing if my mom said that.
supbabes 0
Was he as hot as the Old Spice guy?
torbey 23
Picturing my mum saying that, yeah I think that I would, too! haha
reddawn1985 12
At least she didn't give u the talk after saying that...
androiddestroya 7
I would've let a single tear escape, then laughed.
gc327072 31
My mom would be all "weell my goodness that's quite inappropriate!" No humor....
SiriusBlack97 17
My friends would think I'd say that
patrickalamo 48
All the makings of a porno.
PantyGAMES 10
Has nobody stopped to think that she could have actually just been talking about a clogged drain within their house? The Internet has turned us all into perverts! D:
heygirlie777 21
79- but we all know she was not at all talking about a clogged drain in get house.
siickman 7
I highly doubt it was an actual drain she was talking about because OP would have took that thought into consideration but the way the mom said it maybe and OP saying the plumber was attractive hints that mom would say something sexual ... So conclusion, we are not perv thinking :p ... Not right now atleast...
wellfuuucckme 7
lol what ?
siickman 7
Comment was for 79 lol i got carried away for no reason now that i look back at it.
ceccles628 6
I'm pretty sure that commercial has some sexual undertones
Trix_Disorder 20
I am POSITIVE that commercial has sexual undertones. An impending threesome is heavily implied. I'm surprised it got on the air.
laden_swallow09 35
Wouldn't OVERtones be more appropriate, here?
Fairclough 8
Almost goes perfect with the Bad Plumber post earlier.
Trix_Disorder 20
23 - You are absolutely correct about that. I swear, it is the beginning of a porno; they show her in the store with her hair all mussed and everything.
Enslaved 38
Don't forget to mention the "Double Impact!"
Lalo16 6
It's probably Mexican.
lessthan0_fml 6
It's funny how your comment has 69 likes!
wetofour 7
I saw the commercial and it definitely does, lol!
pinkredneck30 2
Mmmm double impact! Sounds like a fun night snaking drains! Lol
momolee 4
Hot mama
jetsown08 21
This sounds like the intro to a MILF porno. *Plumber enters* Plumber- I'm here to snake your drain. *Sex scene begins with no real segue between the scenes*
doctorhook86 25
40: That's pretty similar to the actual commercial, anyway... ...except instead of sex, they try to sell you drain cleaner.
iseyixes 18
I've seen the commercial and yes he is hot!
gabrayal 10
At least your mom still has a sense of humor.
ruabadfishtoo 0
I agree! I would be dying of laughter if my mom said that
TheGianaJinx 0
My mom always says these things. Not fun.
gabrayal 10
I'd rather have my mom have a sense of humor than not have any whatsoever ! I try to tell my mon a joke and it SOMEHOW ends up being a life lesson or something. -.- It's as of she has a big stick up her ass or something (sorry mom,.. I love you)
TheGianaJinx 0
It's bad because in public, my mom will loudly point out someone. She'll say "I bet he has a huge dick." and I have to just run away and hide.
olpally 33
Some thoughts are best kept to yourself... But your mom is hilarious!!! Sounds like something my dad would say...lmao. Just laugh it off... :D Giggity!
shawnaishere 14
Hint hint : someone is getting obsessed with quagmire
olpally 33
I love family guy!!! Sorry... Lol... Can't help myself! :D
IAmJad 18
6, I look at your picture and can't help but remember Tom, from MySpace lol
olpally 33
I don't want to be compared to the guy tom on MySpace!! Lol... Terrible...
jazzyjazz23 9
your about me is awesome, people really do get really snarky here it sucks, in my first comment I got ripped apart.
devond09 0
Bahahaha your comments are funny!
FuckYourProblems 6
The question is, would you let him snake yours?
iseyixes 18
Not sure if the saying "like mother, like daughter" would apply here.
aKaClickZ 4
Definitely a Porno scenario.
IAmJad 18
Hahaha it would be the cheesiest porno ever but you are correct.
reddawn1985 12
Slender man
jetsown08 21
Just mentioning him means he's going to kill you now. Wait, shit, I just mentioned Slender too. *Vomits uncontrollably*
Rowdey 10
This is relevant how..?
gc327072 31
I just don't get what's scary about a made-up monster. Big whoop
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I'm only afraid of real monsters, like the ones in my closet...
Schizomaniac 24
Sean, there's only one thing in your closet, and it isn't a monster.
kittytub 12
69- it's irrational. I know he's not real, but I'm absolutely terrified of him.
ambear26 14
Ew. I'm sort of confused as to what a made up killer with no face has to do with a hot plumber ?
kamikrazy 6
It's a good thing I don't know how your mom looks so I can't picture that. Phew
deathy94 14
U have a good looking pussy. :)
ShyAnn29 15
46, I like your picture, I've been to Machu Pichu (not sure if that's spelled right) it's very pretty!
kamikrazy 6
She sexy ain't she. Makes all the boys clench their teeth.
ShyAnn29 15
Very sexy pussy :-)
idancewithllamas 12
I've seen that commercial and I don't blame her! I'd let him snake my drain any day too :)
glittercookies 12
Me too! Those were the hottest "plumbers" I've ever seen.
jazzyjazz23 9
Which commercial is it? I haven't seen it :/