Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML
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Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went out for ice cream. We somehow started talking about which of our relatives had died. Right when she was talking about how her grandfather had died, I started laughing. She had gotten ice cream all over her face. She broke up with me. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
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Top comments
rp713 4
If she was on top she was in control, why should it be your fault?
MelTheGreat 23
Or maybe she just has different priorities, or A.D.D... But you probably do suck in this case.
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Comments (92)
kaytasha 18
Its possible she got bored and rather than tell you and hurt your feelings she decided to say it in a roundabout way.
Omniprism 15
If she was on top then it would be her to suck at sex cause she has control. I would ask her why she did it. Good luck.
fantasyworld 39
She was either hungry or bored. Ice cream does sound good.
KarlwithaK91 12
I agree with #15. try and make her your Sunday dessert. but seriously, it happens to the best of us after a while. perhaps your sex life has become too routine with positions and all that. try doing something different and spice it up. you'll be back on top in no time.
Kylie_Is_Meh 3
Or maybe she just wanted some damn ice cream.
miss_amphetamine 24
That's what I thought reading this lol...sometimes really good sex makes me hungry for something sweet also for some reason. Happens to my girlfriends too, I don't think OP's gf was trying to insult him.
miss_amphetamine 24
Sex makes me hungry lol. Especially good sex, and it's always for something sweet. Sometimes girls hormones **** with our heads and all we can think about is food...I think OPs GF is just being female and I wouldn't take that as an insult. ;)
colecarter68 3
Are you Black?
tijana 3
Haha that's kind of hilarious no offense .. Just take it in and work on it and and make sure that watch ally of **** :)
Chibi_Kitten 24
Well maybe she just wanted something cold. It isn't like she said she wanted Better Than Sex Cake.
justjaycee1 3
Was it chocolate ice cream?