Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went out for ice cream. We somehow started talking about which of our relatives had died. Right when she was talking about how her grandfather had died, I started laughing. She had gotten ice cream all over her face. She broke up with me. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
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Top comments
rp713 4
If she was on top she was in control, why should it be your fault?
MelTheGreat 23
Or maybe she just has different priorities, or A.D.D... But you probably do suck in this case.
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Comments (92)
OBTrice 15
Or she is pregnant either one
Mightytall 35
Ice Cream > Sex anyway ;-) You can have it in public everywhere and you can do it with pretty much anybody.
laden_swallow09 35
If she's on top and she gets bored, SHE's doing it wrong.
Echoa21 18
Look on the bright side- at least you have Ice cream!
therealjc_fml 14
Dude. It's ice cream! I probably would've been like great idea... Let's go.
ladyg228 15
Maybe he couldn't keep it up and she got bored.
B90 9
Maybe she finished first and didn't care if you were finished?
acdeaver 6
very possible. selfishness. haha.
ostfaiz 18
mind your position next time..swap it
sjbartholome 14
She wants to scream for ice cream because you weren't making her scream!
Kittyphysics 21
I seriously suck on top. Dont feel bad bro. Ice cream is a good thing :) sounds like youve got a fun girl