Today, my four year-old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "Oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML
Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced that I am a ghost. He also thinks that I died from burning, "because of your face". FML
Today, my little sister asked what the noises were last night. It happened to be my dad and his girlfriend fooling around. I ended up telling her it was ghosts. Now I'm grounded by my dad who yelled at me for scaring her. I was trying to save his ass from a lot of questions. FML
Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML
Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML
Today, my coworker said that she suddenly got the shivers. I jokingly told her that it meant she must be being watched by a dead person and made stupid ghost noises. She then told me it was the anniversary of her dad's death and burst into tears. FML
Today, my girlfriend thinks my house is filled with ghosts. She can only hear them when I fart. FML
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML
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Top comments
sourgirl101 29
Grandma: "Honey, there's no such things as ghosts. That's just mommy getting laid" ^Now there's an FML ;)
Jessi_the_sexii 0
lol ydi for being a screamer
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Comments (164)
justspin 7
Only in Arkansas
ElricMustang 23
LOL my favorite FML
ashmeed 8
kids say the darnest things!
klx125cross 9
Someones been bangin, ALOT!
nachosbabygurl 9
that's kinda funny wen u think about it
jmcr 27
Thats good pay back actually my parents did the same thing when i was little and i always thought my dad was in pain then i learned about sex and i cant fall asleep from the mental scarring when i hear them...their room is right under mine....
fantasyworld 39
When she learns what sex is she'll be mortified.
kittykat1501 31
Duck song!