Slow clap...

Hopefully, your underwear was of the K-Mart brand so you’ll be all set for your next business presentation!

Just when you think it's safe to piss, that's when they get you. Underpants truly are the wiliest of clothing items.

I know it's not the most popular choice but they do have uh..."adult incontinence underwear" (i.e. adult diaper) that would solve both issues. And you never have to worry about a nasty public bathroom, or lines, or forgetting to pull down your underwear.

They act like a net, once your done just flip them over, let it fall into toilet, and you're all set. This way you know exactly how much you shit your underpants.

That's one way to warm up your panties.

But a not very effective way of doing so as they will cool off relatively quick...

Farting is usually safer. There’s always the dreaded shart to fear.

An example of why British English is best - we don't get confused about which variants of pants we've pulled down, seeing as we call underpants just 'pants' and pants 'trousers' xD

This makes zero sense. There is zero confusion in non-British English. You are just stupid.

we actually generally call it underWEAR over here :)

Take the wet undies off, throw them away, and go commando for the rest of the day. Your pants won't get wet, and if you have to pee again, you won't have to remember to pull down your underwear because you won't have any on. Problem solved.

Let me get this straight - you PISSED yourself on the TOILET?

Did you try to dry them off using the airplane vent afterwards?