nosestealer
Brampton, Canada
Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
So innocent
Today, my 5 year-old stabbed me in the back with a pencil because I "stole" her nose and wouldn’t give it back. My daughter has been sulking now for 3 hours and refuses to breathe until she gets her nose back. FML
unknown
United States
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
crzyry
Canada
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML
titoutou222
France
Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It's cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML
QueenCortana Tiffany Turner
Temper tantrum
Today, the cops were called to my apartment because my daughter had a temper tantrum while I was at work. She was naked when they were there. FML
imnotastranger
Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
bail?
Omaha, United States
Today, my daughter's idea of a prank was taking all of our money and getting herself arrested. FML
...
San Francisco, United States
Home improvement
Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML
Anonymous
Makati, Philippines
Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML
Top comments
kzai 16
Did they help find it?!
MzZombicidal 36
Voldemort?
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Comments (178)
B00K_L0V3R93 31
How is this really an FML? That is so cute. I bet the operator who took the call thought it was adorable and probably brightened their day. I would be proud to know that your child knows who to call in an emergency.
aeonsoul 12
Unless you get fined, it's not much of an FML it's cute actually :)
Doobette 7
She knows to dial 911 in case of emergencies. You should be proud of her!
kitsune309 15
Be still, my ovaries...
BrookRae 19
.....what?
zolziski 11
I think they're trying to say that the kid from this FML is so cute/funny that it's got them wanting kids.
kitsune309 15
123 has the right idea. It's something my sisters and I say when we see a really really cute kid and we start wanting one.
graceinsheepwear 34
Did she start the call saying "My name is Paris-Michael Katherine Jackson..."?
ScaryGamer 6
These games are getting serious
QueenVicHop 12
Wow, that's hilarious. Sounds like something my niece would do. I can just imagine her sobbing into the phone how "mommy/daddy stole mah nose." At least she's resourceful. :)
meloman95 7
That is the cutest thing I've ever heard.
Sal_G_63 5
Look out he's got a nose!! *cookie for whoever gets the reference*
thejimler 9
I love asdfmovie too, now gimme my cookie!
Sal_G_63 5
*tosses a chocolate chip cookie* ASDF FTW!!
azularayne 17
Throw the cookies! Now. The first thing I did before commenting on this was to check if anyone else had posted the reference first...and damn you for being that person. :P
charliewhippet 9
That is actually adorable.