nosestealer
Brampton, Canada
Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
So innocent
Today, my 5 year-old stabbed me in the back with a pencil because I "stole" her nose and wouldn’t give it back. My daughter has been sulking now for 3 hours and refuses to breathe until she gets her nose back. FML
unknown
United States
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
crzyry
Canada
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML
titoutou222
France
Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It's cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML
QueenCortana Tiffany Turner
Temper tantrum
Today, the cops were called to my apartment because my daughter had a temper tantrum while I was at work. She was naked when they were there. FML
imnotastranger
Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
bail?
Omaha, United States
Today, my daughter's idea of a prank was taking all of our money and getting herself arrested. FML
...
San Francisco, United States
Home improvement
Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML
Anonymous
Makati, Philippines
Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML
Top comments
kzai 16
Did they help find it?!
MzZombicidal 36
Voldemort?
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Comments (178)
itsnotyourfault 9
That game just rose to a whole different level!! That will be a great story to tell later
cna1216 15
At least she knows how to dial 911
pwnman 33
She reminds me of my acts. When I was her age, I called the police for my missing Coca-Cola.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
How did she get access to a phone to do this? She's only five...but it's good that she knows to call the police if she's in trouble. The bad news? The cops could hit you with a fine for filing a false police report, but since your daughter made the call, they will probably let you off. :) I hope she found her nose! lol
NoFlippinWai 24
filing a false police report? a report probably wasnt filed. maybe a fine for a nusence (sp) call. but I doubt it since it was a child.
madaymay 9
Dad: i got your nose!! Police: look out he's got a nose! *shoots dad* Asdf movies for the win :)
edmunson 22
I don't care who you are, that shit is FUNNY!!!
rickyblair 16
You know she made someone's day though, she would've made mine.
BEButterfly 13
Those gullible children, err sometime the parents telling them stuff not really real either. One or the other!
XxcaitanatorXx 12
lol srry but thats a good one
BlancSlate 10
That's not FML or YDI, that's F-N Epic! you should be proud of her :)