nosestealer
Brampton, Canada
Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
So innocent
Today, my 5 year-old stabbed me in the back with a pencil because I "stole" her nose and wouldn’t give it back. My daughter has been sulking now for 3 hours and refuses to breathe until she gets her nose back. FML
unknown
United States
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
crzyry
Canada
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML
titoutou222
France
Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It's cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML
QueenCortana Tiffany Turner
Temper tantrum
Today, the cops were called to my apartment because my daughter had a temper tantrum while I was at work. She was naked when they were there. FML
imnotastranger
Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
bail?
Omaha, United States
Today, my daughter's idea of a prank was taking all of our money and getting herself arrested. FML
...
San Francisco, United States
Home improvement
Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML
Anonymous
Makati, Philippines
Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML
Top comments
kzai 16
Did they help find it?!
MzZombicidal 36
Voldemort?
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Comments (178)
Yellow_Fish79 11
She sounds intelligent, you should be proud. :)
fatraptorjesus13 9
I would call the military or Batman if I lost my nose, thank god my parents always returned my nose!
JFloUnknown 24
I bet OP nose who stole it.
Philerup31 12
Surely OP will deliver.
BjgUsername 12
Isn't 5 a bit old to think your nose was actually stolen?
eternalibra 14
I thought she meant her Mr. Potato Head nose was stolen lol
Linkerdoodles 15
That's adorable, though.
LissaMccracken 23
That's actually pretty funny, and adorable though.. :)
asleepingbear 8
Shit just got real
LissaMccracken 23
Ehhhh I think the FML is more interesting...
mgrayallday 6
That's a serious offense, I hope you have a good lawyer!
timelessone 16
Yes I'm sure the city prosecutor will pursue this case with the max punishment in mind.
3rdbass 9
Perhaps in Texas.
zolziski 11
I would like to believe that something like this would only be an offense if the person was purposely trying to waste the police's time for their own amusement, not when a young child mistakenly believes there's an emergency.
Omfgitsmia 15
111 I think he was referring to the case of the stolen nose lol
MzZombicidal 36
#127, I think #111 knows that...
vehementbitch 4
YOU BITCH. How dare you steal an innocent childs nose!
revolution4ever 14
"live from the scene of the crime. Earlier today, a 5 year old girl called 911 to report her missing nose. Investigators are working diligently to find the missing nose that seemingly just disappeared because of a magic trick gone wrong. The parents are the main suspects and are currently being questioned by authorities"
KiddoKS 19
There's a section in the newspaper of a city near me called "off the blotter" that has funny and strange stories in it. If op has something similar in their town, this could actually make it in the news!