By Anonymous - 21/09/2012 04:51 - United States

Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 451
You deserved it 3 769

Same thing different taste

Top comments

klovemachine 24

This calls for a severe punishment :(


klovemachine 24

This calls for a severe punishment :(

MetalxSoldier 26

Maybe you should make your kid swallow a tack for real to teach him a lesson. I mean you're already there. Jk though :)

Yes because paying for it twice is always the answer.


Kids will be kids, you should punish them, but hey, better save than sorry.

Kn0wledge123 21

Only after she gets spanked, grounded, and has all her toys taken away. Once the next six months of her life turn to ashes...then she has your permission to die.

yhax 2

Alan, they don't have a movie theater in Toulouse, do they? (tdkr, anyone?) Can't believe no one got that... -__-

I got it. I just don't think it's funny. Way overused now.

selahsmithereens 1

Maybe not exactly a punishment, just try to explain that faking medical emergencies costs lots of money and makes everyone upset? Don't people read "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" anymore?!

expertsmilee 26

Where is this nut fondling meat grinder you speak I can avoid it

Alan, why you no have a thumbs up button? I would have raped it until it had let me thumb you up twice!!!

What kind of 5 yr old grasps the concept of money? When I was 5, I thought my parents had shit loads of money, even though I didn't get many presents and all. A 5 yr old should be thought the value of truth more than that of money.

92- don't kiss ass too hard you'll leave a bruise.

When I was young I knew my parents had a lot of money...

Yeah ok Alan, apparently the Batman movies are terrible....what ******* planet are u from

Yeah it sounds horrible that someone with a 5yr old doesn't have insurance. Sure I can be acting all high and mighty, but seriously kids get sick/hurt all the time, you need to get insurance.

Eliseopwns 22

You're profile pic doesn't help your comment xD

Insurance can cost a hell of a lot, some people are in such a situation where they have to decide between education and insurance. I think some people will prefer to give their kids education and work their ass off for the possible medical bills rather than the opposite.

And this, right here, is why the US needs a federal healthcare system. You shouldn't have to choose between getting your kid an education and keeping them healthy.

CaptainDoorknob 7

FYL you're going to have bills up the ass for that.

how about a choice between smoking & drinking v. keeping your kids healthy? The problem is most people don't want to take responsibility for their own lives. No, we should steal from other people in the name of fairness. After all *I* deserve what everyone else works so hard for. *uses remote on iphone to start a macbook something to stream wireless music so I can play call of duty something on my gazzillion inch plasma*

iTsbSkuLLy 8

Yep, guess she saw the money tree in the backyard.

You should really have health insurance for your kids at least .. Healthy kids is available so you child is covered.

#98, Not everyone can afford that though :|

...are no different to kids in the past.

rofflewaffle 9

If you can afford Internet, you can afford insurance for your child. And if you can't afford it, there are plenty of programs that will pay for it. It's incredibly irresponsible not to have health insurance for your child. What happens when she swallows a real tack? Or gets the flu so bad she needs IV? Or needs vaccinations?

Should've handled that situation with a bit more tack

Alliente 9

44 - wouldn't it be nice if the FML team invited something that would allow us to show our agreement without typing out comments? Oh wait......

I'm sure 44 was trying to make a pun, but she wasn't sharp enough.

Try not to pin all the blame on OP's child.

But we can definitely poke fun at the situation!

eatdemcupcakes 4

52 - wouldn't it be nice if you'd stop being an annoying prick?

Sounds like this is probably your first child. Once you have a few, you will relax and learn to ask the right questions in situations like this. Little children around this age are learning to play jokes, so maybe you should explain to him/her that it could have been a real emergency and that they can't joke about that kind of stuff. For some reason, parents feel like they can't talk to their children at this age but take it from someone with experience that those people who don't are stupid. Don't be one of them!

It's "the boy who cried wolf" all over again...

"once you have a few" ?! How many do you think she's going to have? 4 or 5?

Some people do have 4 or 5 kids. I know a family with more than that.

clarissasyima 7

I agree with this person 100%! this is the time to set the boundaries for your children.

alexhaz64 4

Well at least you're doing a good job as a parent. Time to teach her a lesson about lying...

Like telling her she's adopted, and her real parents were wombats?

Or say she has a cookie allergy for the next 20 years? *different fml reference*

only way to look at it is to be thankful that she was just joking :)

that was actually what i was thinking , sometimes when bad things happen to kids you just wish they're just kidding

I know I'm going to get massively voted down here, but it's things like this that make me wonder why America doesn't want universal healthcare...if you'd been in the UK the only thing you'd have wasted was time :-P

The thing is, she would have wasted _someone's_ money, even if it was the collective taxpayer. I agree that nobody should be prevented from seeking healthcare due to the cost and so I'm in favour of the NHS. However, it's "timewasting" situations like this where there is an argument that the patient should cover some of the cost rather than the taxpayer.

I live in the UK but have used the American healthcare system and to be fair the American healthcare I had was better than the healthcare I got when I got back to the UK but my god health insurance is expensive!

I just think it would be better if all people have access to the same healthcare, even if it is of a slightly lower standard...especially when private healthcare is available for those who can afford it.

Money should never be considered when it comes to the health of human beings!

HelloGuys 4

Im just 14 so i am kinda clueless at this thing but doesnt obama tried to do free healthcare??? (Just a question)

There's no such thing as free healthcare. The money would come from the government who gets it from the taxes and such that we pay every year.

Your fourteen and don't know that stuff? I'm fifteen and I keep my self filled in so I don't look like an idiot and ask stupid questions

47 I'm glad you're interested in politics; just four more years til you'll be voting in the next presidential election! You are thinking of what's called universal health care / a single-payer system, where health care for everyone is taken out of taxes on your paycheck, and people who are unemployed would still have health care. The new health care changes haven't gone that far. Obama wants everyone to have coverage, but we will still pay hundreds of dollars each month to private insurance companies to buy our individual (or family) insurance plans. One of the most important improvements to health insurance coverage made during this administration is that insurance companies will no longer be able to deny people coverage. The previous / current law, until this new one goes into effect in 2014, lets insurance refuse to cover people with "preexisting conditions," which can be pretty much anything. Asthma, ADHD, diabetes, pregnancy and many more -- common ailments, things that affect millions of people in the US -- are all examples of "preexisting conditions" that currently prevent people from getting insurance coverage. Once the new law goes into effect in 2014, insurance companies will no longer be able to turn down these people or anyone else who wants to buy coverage, even those who have a disease that is very expensive to treat, such as cancer.

#47 Well done for taking an interest. The idiots who voted you down should be ashamed of themselves when all you did was acknowledge your lack of knowledge (which is hardly surprising if you're 14) and ask for someone to help you understand.

I live in Sweden, where healthcare is free, and yet we have one of the world's best healthcares.. The risk of death up to 60 days after a surgery is only 1,8%, in comparsion to latvia where it's 21%.. free healthcare doesn't mean lower standard!

megdg73 0

Even in Canada we have great health insurance! It comes from the taxes but at least when you do need to go to the hospital, it's already 100% paid for from taxes.

58 - How the hell is pregnancy a preexisting condition?

If a woman is pregnant she is statistically more likely to die than a woman who is not, so health insurance companies can refuse to insure her while she is pregnant...

It is, but it's the way they avoid losing shit loads of money so it's also essential practice...that is unless universal healthcare is introduced in the US, in which case no one has to worry about their health insurance paying for treatment. In the UK you can also get health insurance but you don't need it; my Mum had health insurance which paid out when she got cancer and made sure we were financially secure during that period :-)

If you are pregnant before you get insurance or become so before your no claims period ends, then it is classed as a preexisting condition.

brand2017 9

The problem is, there are people who abuse the system. Im sorry but i dont want to waste my hard earned money for other people's healthcare if they are just going to abuse it. Unfortunately, it happens a lot in this country.

It's a difficult one there - should you have asked her "Did you really do that?" etc, or would that have caused the kid to feel the "correct" answer was to say she hadn't, even if in fact she had? It's a pain that you have all those extra medical bills but at least you have a healthy kid! Now, I guess it's time to emphasise how important it is not to joke about things like that.

juhlman 1

That's what you get for not having insurance

10- You have no idea why OP doesn't have health insurance, for all you know it could be something completely out of their control. Think twice next time before acting like an ass.