nosestealer
Brampton, Canada
Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
So innocent
Today, my 5 year-old stabbed me in the back with a pencil because I "stole" her nose and wouldn’t give it back. My daughter has been sulking now for 3 hours and refuses to breathe until she gets her nose back. FML
unknown
United States
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
crzyry
Canada
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML
titoutou222
France
Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It's cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML
QueenCortana Tiffany Turner
Temper tantrum
Today, the cops were called to my apartment because my daughter had a temper tantrum while I was at work. She was naked when they were there. FML
imnotastranger
Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
bail?
Omaha, United States
Today, my daughter's idea of a prank was taking all of our money and getting herself arrested. FML
...
San Francisco, United States
Home improvement
Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML
Anonymous
Makati, Philippines
Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML
Top comments
kzai 16
Did they help find it?!
MzZombicidal 36
Voldemort?
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Comments (178)
srbuckley322 10
I guess she took "I've got your nose" a little to seriously
CharresBarkrey 16
...You don't say?
LissaMccracken 23
Voldemort, Voldemort, ohhhh Voldy Voldy Voldemort! ... Just wanted to add that ;)
Llama_Face89 34
Thumbs up for Potter Puppet Pals!
LissaMccracken 23
Yeah, I knew that would be thumbed down, just wanted to see if anyone would know it was the Potter Puppet Pals!
Huitzilopoch 2
Probably made the dispatchers day! Unless they were a grumpy sob...
QueenSaru 28
Haha, when my brother was little (around four I think), he dialed 911 to 'see what would happen', and then I guess panicked and hung up. My mum gets this call back from them all, "Ma'am, we just received a call from this number, is there an emergency?" to which she replied, "No, but there's about to be..." Sadly, I don't think you can joke like that anymore.
QueenVicHop 12
Lol that's hilarious. That reminds me of when my sister was little, she'd gone to the bowling alley with my dad for his tournament, and they were playing with the pay phone, making fake phone calls because it didn't actually work. They dialed 9-1-1 and freaked when they actually heard it working. Needless to say, a very entertained cop was giggling at her scared face when she saw he'd actually come xD
NoFlippinWai 24
when I was young a simular thing happened. We had a phone my mother would let me play with that was never plugged in. Shed ask me to dial numbers to help remember them. One day though it was plugged in... about 70 911 calls later, 4 police cars showed up sirens and lights. That spanking HURT.
jessBeAqueen 13
why are you on this site complaining when you should be helping her out by putting up "missing nose" posts on trees and milk cartons???
twinkiefeets 17
That is the cutest fml I have Ever read.
MommaSchmidt 14
how did the police react?!
Dracoboxer357 36
18- Cool story, bro, tell it again. :p More seriously, just because you know someone who may have Trumped this 5 yr old girl, doesn't make it "Nothing." She's young, it was cute, and she wasn't competing with anyone for the "Biggest-*******-Stunt-of-the-Week" award. If everyone thought everything you did was Nothing as long as they even Heard of someone doing something Better, what a negative shithole this planet really would be. ;p imho, of course....
Allennis44 16
Aww she sounds sweet
sugarysofalof 22
lol sorry, this is such bullshit