By secretsmakefriends - 15/10/2013 21:43 - United States - Vashon

Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks 51 822
You deserved it 5 167

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That sucks. It's similar to the feeling "oh shit my boyfriends parents are hardcore Catholic and I'm Wiccan." But in the end if you love him then I wish you two a good life if your grandma approves or not.

Sad that racism is still so prevalent in the US today


That sucks. It's similar to the feeling "oh shit my boyfriends parents are hardcore Catholic and I'm Wiccan." But in the end if you love him then I wish you two a good life if your grandma approves or not.

Coming from people that were born in a racist time

Just warn your fiancé before your grandma and him meet so he's not shocked. My husbands father is very sexist and that's just the way he is because that's the family dynamic he grew up in. He warned me about it before I first met him, and it helped a lot.

incoherentrmblr 21

I think you're gonna kill your grand mother.

I think she might just spare her, 50

its sad isnt it? and instead of real world issues like racism, we instead talk about miley cyrus' tongue. fml

#61, no one mentioned Miley's tongue. Most people are offering advice on how to deal with the grandmother.

\ 28

Miley has an ugly tongue anyway. I don't even wanna know where its been

Beepbeep7 14

#61 seriously? No one mentioned Miley so it seems you are off on the real world issues.And the bad part about "discussing real world issues" is that you have so many opinionated people ready to point the finger at everyone but themselves. With that being said, sorry OP.If you're happy that's all that counts.You don't need anyone's approval on the one you love.Good luck!

This should be interesting. I hope there's a follow-up

Religious differences are a different issue because their whole viewpoints and ways of life would clash repeatedly, but with race the only difference is appearance (and culture).

fucMyLifeSoHard 18

32- Well I'm assuming OP grandmother is older, so she probably grew up in a racist environment, so it is probably difficult for her to break the habit.

RedPillSucks 31

Age doesn't have anything to do with racism. I know lots of racist young people. And have you listened to how people talk on COD!!??

Make them meet over skype without video or in very bad lighting first, so she gets to know him and then find out that he's black? If she knows he's lovely she might mind less..

What would bad lighting do to hide that he's black??

GoodLookingGeese 10

Skype with a bad lighting - with tired eyes at her age she might have problems finding him at all..

Humm if she's backwards enough to be scared of black people I assume she's not that comfortable with Skype either.. Or computers at all for that matter

kyu_Q 19

Why does one have to hide and sneak who they are with. No matter how lovely or rich the fiance might be the grandma will probably hate him and write OP out of her will. Might even blast het name off the family Tapestry for good measure. HAG

usernaaame 4

Lol, my black friend once hid in a dark stairwell and we couldn't see him because he was black and in dark clothes. Just leave the lights low and introduce him as your invisible boyfriend.

So grandma doesn't know that you're mixing your white chocolate with dark chocolate what about your folks?

1dvs_bstd 41

you're a monumental douchebag

Let's hope your sperm never mixes with another woman's egg you racist piece of shit.

xblaine 17

I advise telling her that it is 2013 and she is no longer in the KKK.

Most old people are set in their ways. When she was young that was just normal.

(Not to be offensive) The KKK does still exist, but they're all a bunch of old people who can't do anything. Maybe the grandmother is part of the KKK.

RedPillSucks 31

There are lots of young people in the KKK and similar groups

Sad that racism is still so prevalent in the US today

Not saying it is right, but the older generation is set in its ways in most cases. They were raised believing that this was the correct way of thinking. The best way to break the pattern is exposure to other races, which they probably didn't have enough of on a social level. The unknown makes for ignorance and ignorance makes for racism.

5- It's sad that it happens anywhere, even up here in Canada, but especially when it's family doing it. My grandpa is a bit racist too, and trying to deal with that isn't always fun, having a "mixed bloodline" background myself. As it is, my sister is marrying a very nice fellow of Chinese descent, and I'm just glad he politely ignored my gramps first comment being about us "hooking up with the chinks now??" Smooth gramps, thanks a lot for first impressions. :p

everyone is at least a little racist, we all need a scapegoat

16 - My grandma is the same way. She's 83, she isn't gonna change now. I remember when I was 8 or 9 she told me not to play with the black kids at the park across the street because 'they have bugs and you'll get them'. My aunt's boyfriend is worse, but I told him off for that because he's in his 40's and should know better.

TheDrifter 23

A lot of older people base their views of other ethnicities on ways of life that no longer exist and events from their own (now distant) past. If you go back forty years in American history, race riots were current events, black neighborhoods Had poverty and crime rates ten times that of white neighborhoods and America had been at war in their lifetime with two Asian Pacific countries. So their stereotypes reflect the faded reality of their childhood. People don't change easily. Even now you still hear younger people spreading hatred towards "lazy minorities" and "the evil rich white man" and blaming one or the other for all their ills.

RedPillSucks 31

The stereotypes didn't necessarily reflect reality. There were lots of prosperous black neighborhoods as well. In North Carolina, some black towns were either burned down by whites or taken over when the black businesses got to be too prosperous or influential. This has happened elsewhere. In the poor areas, crime was high because the police didn't patrol there as much or there were no foot patrols. If you were in a white neighborhood, there was a police presence. When white people wanted to buy drugs, they'd go to a black neighborhood (no cops), get their drugs and come home and laugh about it later.

Just because she's afraid of black people as a group doesn't mean her mind can't be changed by a personal relationship with one. Hopefully that's the case, at least. Introduce them and be ready to leave if grams throws a fit or takes cheap shots.

Definitely give him some warning too.

woah 0 udi so far. proud of you guys

what the **** did I just read?

Tell your Granny that you lost a bet between friends and were sold to your fiancé, likely due to some Karmic travesty she or your grandpa committed. Or that you're gonna get pregnant and sell the kid into slavery. That always goes over well with the old timers.

Fitzinator1995 13

stand up for yourself, you have the right to date anyone you want.

RedPillSucks 31

I'm sure she'll do that, as it's her "fiance". That doesn't mean she can't be a bit apprehensive about it.