Today, my family and I were parking downtown when my sister yelled to watch out for a man approaching our car. I see him pull something from his pocket. I yell "It's a knife, don't roll down the window!" It was a pen, he was the parking attendant and the window was already rolled down. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML
Today, I got pulled over by a cop. Since my window wasn't working, I opened the door, causing him to run towards me with a drawn gun. He then had a go at me with his night stick. After realizing my window was broken, he laughed and let me off with a warning. FML
Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML
Today, I was sitting in my car outside my apartment complex when a man came around the corner holding something shiny, and I thought was a gun. Thinking I was about to get robbed at gunpoint, I bugged out and threw up. It was a silver watering can. He asked if I was okay. FML
Today, I parked downtown for a few minutes to pick up a pizza. As I was getting out of my car, a sketchy guy came up and asked me for $5. I told him to get lost and walked away. I walked back to the lot with my pizza and my car was gone. The sketchy guy was a parking attendant. He had my car towed. FML
Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML
Today, I parked my car to go inside to grab my wallet than I'd forgotten. In the short time it took me to do that, someone broke two of my car's windows. FML
Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML
Today, I left a coffee shop abruptly to go to my car to let out some really bad and loud gas. My window was partly open because it's broken. A stranger was walking on the sidewalk in front of me. He looked terrified. FML
Today, I couldn't see my car in a crowded car park. I pressed unlock on my keys and saw the lights flash. As I walked over I also saw someone run from my car with an armful of my stuff. FML
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Top comments
ASUdec 0
Can't tell a knife from a pen.
C_Wicked27 0
And let me guess, you guys were about to floor it to your gated community after all that, weren't you? I know that according to the news, the amount of people randomly murdering other people has dramatically risen in recent years, but that isn't true. In fact, violent crime has dropped pretty substantially across the country in most cases. On the other hand though, media coverage of violent crime in recent years has skyrocketed. Basically, what I'm trying to say is.... STOP BEING SO ******* PARANOID.
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Comments (96)
sun_babe 0
Jesus. How old are you? If you cant tell the difference between a knife and a pen, maybe you shouldn't be allowed out.
fuckmyl1f333 0
how is this a FML?
redbluegreen 41
Okay people, maybe the OP didn't get a look at what the person coming actually had in his pocket. He saw the person reach in and pull something out. When someone draws a knife, it's not always as obvious as you'd like to think. Plus, the parking attendants here look like serial killers. The OP did overreact, but we've all looked at something mistakenly at least once. Don't act like you haven't.
chaddyd23 0
It would only be a knife if he was black... Was he black?
Win_fml 0
Oh poor you! Made a mistake! Good God!
Leptailurus 0
#23, redbluegreen: Yeah, of course I'm sure we've all overreacted at least once in our lives. The major difference is a majority of us don't come and post it on this site saying "FML" and looking for pity from others. We chalk it up as a mistake, learn from it, and move on. :P
redbluegreen 41
#26/ Leptailurus - True, but there's still a majority of people who will go ahead and post it on FML. I'm not saying the OP didn't deserve it, but people shouldn't be so harsh. But then again, this is the internet.
anil6057 0
Yes #24 , if you ever need a knife, just kindly ask your local black person, cause they all carry the required "black person weapon". You know what, stop being so stereotypical of people. I bet your a Ginger who explodes orange diahrrea cause you know all gingers do that out of their freckled ass cheeks.
amatayo 0
Yeah you got to watch out for the guys in a uniform. Hahaha
Peroxide 3
So how high were you when you thought a man in uniform was going to cut you? Was this before or after the unicorn came all over your sisters face?