Peroxide

About Peroxide

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. If I don't save the wee turtles who will!! *moments later* AHH save me from the wee turtles, they were too big for me! This is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film, "The Never-Ending Story". Well, he's kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace 'accidently' with 'repeatedly', and replace 'dog' with 'son'. Here is a list of my favourite fml people-get fucked It has come to my attention that a number of, shall we say, stalkers-you filthy people know who you are, have been repeatedly viewing my profile. I will not, and will not ever, be posting naked pictures of myself (pm me for naked pics).

Peroxide - Followers

Peroxide - Followed

Peroxide's page visits

More

Hugged!

Peroxide's FML badges

Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
It's in the can!
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
The thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

0%
The return of the thumb
You have thumbed 5000 comments.

0%
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

0%
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

0%
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

0%
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

18%

The list of badges to find

Peroxide's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work, a man came in wearing a very elaborate cowboy ensemble and went to talk to one of my coworkers. Once he left, I asked her how she knew a gay cowboy. She then explained that he's actually a farmer and her husband of ten years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous / Saturday 13 March 2010 19:31 / United States

Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By xXxJoe16xXx / Tuesday 1 December 2009 21:11 / United States

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous / Monday 30 November 2009 07:27 / United States

Today, my secret crush, who sits next to me in Bio, asked if he could borrow my notes. I agreed. It was only after he drove away, with my notebook, that I realized that in the back of my notes, I had written his name 100 times, surrounded by little hearts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Lovenotes - / Saturday 17 October 2009 23:05 / United States

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By soontobedivorced - / Sunday 19 April 2009 04:05 / United States

More

Peroxide

Beginner

It's in the can!

Checking you out

The thumb strikes back

The return of the thumb

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

One more and it's business time