Miscellaneous: Today, my family and I were parking downtown when my sister yelled...

By parkinglotslayer - 11/06/2009 02:28 - United States

Today, my family and I were parking downtown when my sister yelled to watch out for a man approaching our car. I see him pull something from his pocket. I yell "It's a knife, don't roll down the window!" It was a pen, he was the parking attendant and the window was already rolled down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 003

You deserved it 47 721

Miscellaneous

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Same thing different taste

By Amara1717 - 19/08/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 090

You deserved it 3 503

Mistaken identity

By Fantastic - 04/03/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, I was walking to my car when I saw a large man walking behind me. I hurried to open my car as he was approaching quickly, but the door wasn't unlocking and I panicked. I then realized that it wasn't even my car. As I walked away from it, he walked up and unlocked the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 131

You deserved it 48 792

Easy mistake

By NoFightResponse - 24/04/2009 03:53 - United States

Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 239

You deserved it 7 130

Freakout

By ParanoidFreak - 31/12/2009 09:31 - United States

Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 943

You deserved it 40 227

Oh lawd, he comin'

By logkitty - 10/04/2012 04:35 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was sitting in my car outside my apartment complex when a man came around the corner holding something shiny, and I thought was a gun. Thinking I was about to get robbed at gunpoint, I bugged out and threw up. It was a silver watering can. He asked if I was okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 582

You deserved it 12 831

Sketchy

By Anonymous - 23/04/2009 13:25 - United States

Today, I parked downtown for a few minutes to pick up a pizza. As I was getting out of my car, a sketchy guy came up and asked me for $5. I told him to get lost and walked away. I walked back to the lot with my pizza and my car was gone. The sketchy guy was a parking attendent. He had my car towed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 705

You deserved it 70 813

Hogs gone wild

By NotoriousSRJ - 28/01/2011 15:43 - Canada

Today, I got pulled over by a cop. Since my window wasn't working, I opened the door, causing him to run towards me with a drawn gun. He then had a go at me with his night stick. After realizing my window was broken, he laughed and let me off with a warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 279

You deserved it 4 332

Smooth criminal

By jack1057 - 12/09/2020 01:01 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was walking to my car from my workplace. When I was about 20 feet from my car, a guy who was clearly on drugs yelled at me and stole my keys and car. Right before leaving the parking lot, he hit a stop sign and then yelled that my car was broken and ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 449

You deserved it 140

By blackandblue - 02/11/2010 16:26 - United States

Today, I was waiting for a friend to pick me up. It was after dark and I was nervous, so when he pulled up I immediately jumped in the car. The young girl in the driver's seat started freaking out, screaming and punching me in the face repeatedly. I'd accidentally gotten in the wrong car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 366

You deserved it 28 797

Don't let me be misunderstood

By Anonymous - 30/12/2022 03:00

Today, I was driving when this guy aggressively rode my tail and crossed over the yellow line to pass. He reached the stop light before I did, and I slowly pulled beside him and started clapping for this lunatic driver. He rolled down the window and said, "My daughter is in the hospital. How do I get there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 1 045

ASUdec 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 10:13

Can't tell a knife from a pen.

C_Wicked27 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 10:31

And let me guess, you guys were about to floor it to your gated community after all that, weren't you? I know that according to the news, the amount of people randomly murdering other people has dramatically risen in recent years, but that isn't true. In fact, violent crime has dropped pretty substantially across the country in most cases. On the other hand though, media coverage of violent crime in recent years has skyrocketed. Basically, what I'm trying to say is.... STOP BEING SO ******* PARANOID.

Comments

Anonymous409 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 10:13

Lol I just moderated this.

codewow 0

Tuesday 4 May 2010 17:01

lolz... it cant get much better than that

ZleveL 0

Friday 7 May 2010 7:33

yup, he moderated it AND got first comment. he be livin da life

ASUdec 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 10:13

Can't tell a knife from a pen.

xleanne_aLly 23

Saturday 16 July 2011 7:38

f*cking whiteys

TheCamoWulf 17

Tuesday 11 December 2012 4:41

I heard they have pens with a little blade in them....

HeyitsPheddy 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 10:15

How is this an FML? This is more like oh whoops, I made a simple mistake

shoelaces301 0

Wednesday 13 October 2010 6:00

it was her sis

that_guy_you_are 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 10:15

Don't be an attention *****, no-one cares enough about you to stab you. STFU and continue being boring.

Anonymous409 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 10:15

You must live in a really bad neighborhood.

ASUdec 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 10:17

When I see strange people walk up to the car I always roll down the window. Then I hand them the keys to the car and get out. That is the smart thing to do just like assuming someone is going to knife you through the window.

heathkimbrell 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 10:19

I don't like this 1

that_guy_you_are 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 10:19

#6 is a moron and an idiot and probably ***** children. Duuuh why not just drive away instead of letting strangers stab you? You have a car, they don't.

Anonymous409 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 10:24

Hey #7 I don't give a shit if you like it or you don't. You shouldn't put yourself before the people. This is a majority vote. I liked it and I said "YES", so go suck a fat one. No, JK, JK. RAPE!