Miscellaneous: Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now...

By chocochoco - 24/03/2014 03:40 - United States - Auburn

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 962

You deserved it 17 918

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Same thing different taste

By argh - 20/03/2012 08:16 - United States - Houston

Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 108

You deserved it 33 462

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 627

You deserved it 34 411

By guest - 19/06/2014 01:14 - United States - Agoura Hills

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 764

You deserved it 5 560

By wowzer - 28/08/2014 19:58 - Puerto Rico - Gurabo

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 367

You deserved it 3 626

By helosthisshit - 01/11/2014 14:26 - United Kingdom - Linlithgow

Today, I went to a Halloween party with people from work. As the night passed, my boss got hammered and started throwing food at people. It was fun and games until I accidentally spilled his 10th beer. His response? To slam a hollowed out pumpkin full of chocolate mousse over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 922

You deserved it 4 330

By nosey - 08/04/2013 19:20 - United Kingdom - Mountain Ash

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 665

You deserved it 40 124

By Anonymous - 01/11/2010 07:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 471

You deserved it 56 847

By drucle - 18/03/2016 12:49 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I found out that my sister's kids refer to me as their 'Drunkle'. I guess I have to admit to myself that I'm an alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 933

You deserved it 16 209

By mary - 21/02/2012 15:33 - Australia

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 851

You deserved it 9 137

By TragicallyAnxious - 10/05/2019 08:00

Today, I learned that drunk me from last night is apparently great at flirting. She also apparently flirted her way to a free bottle of white wine, only to shatter it on the kitchen floor at 2 a.m. How did I find out? Three words: glass in foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 640

jerryj 27

Monday 24 March 2014 8:52

Please follow up and publish it here!

lex1459 38

Monday 24 March 2014 8:56

Are you the same OP that wrote "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" for their essay?

Comments

acidburnz1107 10

Monday 24 March 2014 10:42

Former New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin once called the city the chocolate city.

Mauskau 35

Monday 24 March 2014 10:44

I would like you to publish this for our enjoyment. Thanks OP xo

DarkStorm2Bad 14

Monday 24 March 2014 10:47

It's raining men. It's raining chocolate men. Chocolate rain.

graceinsheepwear 33

Monday 24 March 2014 12:17

...as sung by Prince.

loserman67 35

Monday 24 March 2014 12:28

Ok, grammar Nazi time... Your "poem" is not "entitled", it is "titled" No one owes your poem anything nor is your poem owed anything, it is not "entitled" Plus, why racist? It could be about Easter candy, you know, chocolate bunnies and such...

DemosthenesMB 13

Monday 24 March 2014 12:39

FML moderators modify the post before they feature it (to correct grammar) so OP might've had it right the first time.

jaylacheatham 7

Monday 24 March 2014 13:04

I'm sorry, but OP is correct. you can also use "entitled" to give something a title like a work of art or a piece of text. He used the word correctly.

sc3ptical 30

Monday 24 March 2014 13:41

en·ti·tle - give (something, esp. a text or work of art) a particular title.

loserman67 35

Monday 24 March 2014 14:25

I always thought it was only used when referring to a debt or object being owed to someone. So I learned something today -- FML, not only good for a laugh, but also good for grammar and vocab lessons!

hellnosucka 27

Monday 24 March 2014 14:30

funny how there are grammar Nazis correcting the grammar of other grammar Nazis who are presumably correcting grammar of a post on chocolate men... does anyone see the irony here?