Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML
Today, I was starting to get freaky with my boyfriend when his dad came in with no warning to let the dog into my boyfriend's bedroom. His dad noticed what was going on and covered the dog's eyes instead of just leaving. FML
Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML
Today, my dad somehow found some pictures of my boyfriend having sex with some girl and went on a rampage about how pissed he was that he was cheating on me. I had to explain to my parents that I was the girl in the pictures. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, I set up a camera in my kitchen to see who was stealing my cookies. Turns out my mom had her boyfriend over. Good news, the cookies are safe. Bad news, I now have something recorded that I never wanted to see in my life. FML
Today, my girlfriend's Marine dad walked in on us fooling around naked. Now we can only hang out with "parental supervision". Oh, and I have to record my visits on a clipboard by the door. FML
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Top comments
katburton13 2
Oh dear. That sucks
marinus_fml 20
I think I saw these on redtube.
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Comments (334)
katburton13 2
Oh dear. That sucks
Aim4thebullseye 4
You mean oh deer right?
HowAreYouToday 34
You shout have said "oh deer, that blows!" (because of the ******** and.... Ugh. I'm boring myself...) XD
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Deer god.. that's kind of crazy. But don't perform sexual acts in your driveway, are you nuts? Beside the fact that your parents are weird and have a camera, ANYONE can see. Neighbors, whatever. If you were at your house already, you should've walked the few hundred feet to your bedroom.
evnflr 7
Was the pun intended?
jacetopia96 1
I see what you did there!
SCREAM4meeee 0
The fact that he had a deer camera suggests that perhaps they live in a rural area, so she can give all the head she wants! Until it gets caught on camera...
Kyzahhh 7
I must say that is an unusual place to chow down on a **** meat sandwich
TheAngryKitten 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Don't you mean the "Pork Hammer Supreme"?
rottentomatoes 7
On the driveway? Really
po_tay_toe 0
Maybe it was in a car on the driveway and you could see through the windshield....
HollyDolly660 8
A similar thing happened to me, but my parents just had me apologize to his parents and he apologized to mine. They watch us like hawks now, but they're gone a lot..
chickenwalrus 14
oh deer, that blows that a deer HEAD caught you giving HEAD... i may have caught all the puns :)
SillyLittleHolly 1
I thought she was saying that it wasn't her giving the ********? As in he cheated on her in her driveway..
Freeze_fml 17
Well you thought wrong.
zowieandzander77 1
what part of " when I was giving my boyfriend head" do you not understand???
THEsuperMANLYman 10
YDI for being a ****-bag. If you're going to have sex atleast have some decency to do it in private
marinus_fml 20
I think I saw these on redtube.
juicedboi 7
Nah was def spankwire. Who just gives a ******* in the driveway? Seriously.. Wanna date?
LostSaiyan 3
It was pornhub guys I was on there this morning!
ElGranOrgo 0
No guys it was on xnxx
KennKenn 0
Pretty sure it was on youtube.
TeamSynergy 1
pretty sure you just ruined it
raaawwwrrZ 8
Virgins, now bitching about thier favorite pornsites on fml
jillianmathers12 13
The Asians always ruin it!
fr33m3xican 0
lmao virgins indeed:3
Xtra_Cheddar 3
You could still like **** and not be a virgin numb nuts
z620 0
The driveway? Really?
therealjb99 7
Nice back very muscular.
SirMeows 1
lmfaoo
eurostar710 11
I just want to throw it out there, you look very sexy in your picture. ;)
bdair 1
A guy like u shouldnt watch ****. YOU SHOULD DO **** !
Mordakai420 6
Put that deer head on ur wall
KennKenn 0
If she gives head in the driveway, God knows what she does in her room.
Dr_Jalepenos 0
I wonder how many pictures it took
FarSide 23
Daddy has probably accumulated an album...
hayq 5
He can make a flip book. If he flips it fast enough, he can watch his little princess do grown up things in moving pictures!
4everFastpitch5 2
That had to be an awkward moment
MyPupRox 2
why would you do that in the driveway? YDI
rlfender 3
well deer I don't know what to say about that but DAMN that sucks!
austin1313 0
Or damn that blows!
False_Stupidity 42
Suck works too, after all that's what she was doing ;)
yrkamurka 4
you should tell him to get out of your business. fyl indeed. :(
leadman1989 16
Then she can also get out of his house.
judo4ever 0
You don't like the rules get out of his house!
JuggaletteKlown 0
Uhh, think maybe she's under 18 and he wont allow her out of his house? I'm pretty sure if she COULD leave she WOULD.
SadinSherman 16
Why would she leave home,her dad is just doing what he thinks is best
dmw25 0
Get out of here please. Your comments are dumb. Do us all a favor and pre read what you put on fml please. Thank you :)
vashthestampede 0
But why in the driveway? :l
katarina956 0
Cuz it's hot
False_Stupidity 42
Because she was so horny she had to do him right there and couldn't make it to the bedroom?
Monkeyseemonkeyd_fml 0
I guess I can't speak from experience, but PRETTY SURE blowing a guy doesn't do anything for a girl. Just sayin.
Monkeyseemonkeyd_fml 0
I guess I can't speak from experience, but PRETTY SURE blowing a guy doesn't do anything for a girl. Just sayin.
christyxbee 15
Oh man, yes it does! My boyfriend, for example, is a super lucky one. I tend to prefer to do it for long periods of time to see the pleasure on his face. That's enough to send me wild!
tzuriel11 9
Hahaha wow ^^
ImmaB3AST 7
203- I honestly got a little horny reading that.
mattjakon 6
236 - sammmeee
nuttyclorox 2
amen... :l
ILoveEmoes 9
Princess wants to be a pornstar! Everyone knows that sex in your bedroom is totes laaaaahme.
sexygirl25 3
Driveway, wow you're a classy *****!! I bet your father is really proud.
justalilcrazy 3
thats imbarassing! But it made me laugh
kingfin88 0
Your spelling is embarrassing
NoahStaz 3
But it made me laugh.
good41thing198 7
More embarrassing if she took the full facial ending. Swallowing just does not make good deer videos.
Viperex 5
The dad will never look at her face the same way again...
killerkiss92 8
Not without seeing a **** on her deer face
kawaiianime 5
Sounds like a smart redneck... :O