FML : Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black......

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By wowzer - / Thursday 28 August 2014 19:58 / Puerto Rico - Gurabo

Love

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Top comments

By Liamj774 | 36

#6051060 - Friday 29 August 2014 5:30

She sure sounds like a keeper

By Earths_Venus | 25

#6051078 - Friday 29 August 2014 5:36

'Check please' or 'check if she's still breathing please'?

Comments

By polarbearpiss | 15

#6051059 - Friday 29 August 2014 5:29

lol
wow

By Liamj774 | 36

#6051060 - Friday 29 August 2014 5:30

She sure sounds like a keeper

nchic01 | 17

#6051105 - Friday 29 August 2014 5:41

poor girl! this is more of an fml for her

nchic01 | 17

#6051149 - Friday 29 August 2014 6:08

yeah... this is more an fml for the girl though

Vagitarian1 | 10

#6051170 - Friday 29 August 2014 6:34

Can you IM me her number?

x3jmac27 | 22

#6051187 - Friday 29 August 2014 6:56

Now I'm curious on if he actually keeps her (:

garrett_8614 | 14

#6051206 - Friday 29 August 2014 7:22

What if she pretended to pass out so OP would be stuck with the check?

incoherentrmblr | 21

#6051268 - Friday 29 August 2014 8:35

^ That would be an interesting, possible scenario...

By ohSNAPyall | 26

#6051063 - Friday 29 August 2014 5:32

Like blackberry wine, 17...

JMichael | 25

#6051090 - Friday 29 August 2014 5:38

a hot July moon! We saw everything!

tigerisabelle | 31

#6051120 - Friday 29 August 2014 5:46

like my first taste of love, oh so drunkenly sweet
the card and the check, signed
like blackberry wine

Maccaroney | 11

#6074709 - Friday 26 September 2014 20:39

Aaaaaand that's a wrap. Great job people. We'll continue recording in an hour.

By trex454 | 21

#6051066 - Friday 29 August 2014 5:33

why couldn't she have meant blue berry?

ladytigerhunts | 20

#6051076 - Friday 29 August 2014 5:35

Well she said "black...blueberry." So it's either that or this.

ohSNAPyall | 26

#6051114 - Friday 29 August 2014 5:43

Because his face is segmented like a blackberry's.

ohSNAPyall | 26

#6051137 - Friday 29 August 2014 5:55

Just imagine spider eyes.

Enslaved | 36

#6051161 - Friday 29 August 2014 6:26

Maybe she meant Blueberry as in a round shape?
I'm thinking Violet from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory".

crazytwinsmom | 25

#6051231 - Friday 29 August 2014 7:49

Maybe OP is black with a blueberry shaped face.

buckdharma | 35

#6051264 - Friday 29 August 2014 8:32

Maybe she meant a blue Blackberry, meaning he's phony. Wait, what?

SarahSehhati | 40

#6051274 - Friday 29 August 2014 8:41

She was drunk! She doesn't even know what she ment! Lol

ohSNAPyall | 26

#6051853 - Saturday 30 August 2014 1:07

Y'all are Blue Meanies.

By silvercamaro | 21

#6051074 - Friday 29 August 2014 5:34

So that's a no to a second date than

By Earths_Venus | 25

#6051078 - Friday 29 August 2014 5:36

'Check please' or 'check if she's still breathing please'?

Shadowvoid | 33

#6051122 - Friday 29 August 2014 5:47

I'm pretty sure I've heard that if your date dies, that your date is free. Now that may not be a real policy, but it would certainly be a common courtesy on the account of how tragic that whole incident would most likely be