By wowzer - 28/08/2014 19:58 - Puerto Rico - Gurabo

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 314
You deserved it 3 606

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She sure sounds like a keeper

'Check please' or 'check if she's still breathing please'?

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She sure sounds like a keeper

poor girl! this is more of an fml for her

yeah... this is more an fml for the girl though

Can you IM me her number?

Now I'm curious on if he actually keeps her (:

What if she pretended to pass out so OP would be stuck with the check?

^ That would be an interesting, possible scenario...

Like blackberry wine, 17...

a hot July moon! We saw everything!

like my first taste of love, oh so drunkenly sweet the card and the check, signed like blackberry wine

Aaaaaand that's a wrap. Great job people. We'll continue recording in an hour.

why couldn't she have meant blue berry?

Well she said "black...blueberry." So it's either that or this.

Because his face is segmented like a blackberry's.

Just imagine spider eyes.

Maybe she meant Blueberry as in a round shape? I'm thinking Violet from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory".

Maybe OP is black with a blueberry shaped face.

Maybe she meant a blue Blackberry, meaning he's phony. Wait, what?

She was drunk! She doesn't even know what she ment! Lol

Y'all are Blue Meanies.

So that's a no to a second date than

'Check please' or 'check if she's still breathing please'?

I'm pretty sure I've heard that if your date dies, that your date is free. Now that may not be a real policy, but it would certainly be a common courtesy on the account of how tragic that whole incident would most likely be

how often do people on dates really die though, that it would be made into a "common policy"?

He never said anything about a common policy...

Leave her with the check. Problem solved.

Go ahead an introduce her to the folks OP! She's a keeper for sure.

Well at least she didn't vomit.

There's nothing worse than a sloppy drunk.