Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML
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By
Liamj774
| 36
She sure sounds like a keeper
By
Earths_Venus
| 25
'Check please' or 'check if she's still breathing please'?
Comments
By
polarbearpiss
| 15
lol
wow
wow
By
Liamj774
| 36
She sure sounds like a keeper
Reply
nchic01
| 17
poor girl! this is more of an fml for her
Reply
nchic01
| 17
yeah... this is more an fml for the girl though
Reply
Vagitarian1
| 10
Can you IM me her number?
Reply
x3jmac27
| 22
Now I'm curious on if he actually keeps her (:
Reply
garrett_8614
| 14
What if she pretended to pass out so OP would be stuck with the check?
Reply
incoherentrmblr
| 21
^ That would be an interesting, possible scenario...
By
ohSNAPyall
| 26
Like blackberry wine, 17...
Reply
JMichael
| 25
a hot July moon! We saw everything!
Reply
tigerisabelle
| 31
like my first taste of love, oh so drunkenly sweet
the card and the check, signed
like blackberry wine
the card and the check, signed
like blackberry wine
Reply
Maccaroney
| 11
Aaaaaand that's a wrap. Great job people. We'll continue recording in an hour.
By
trex454
| 21
why couldn't she have meant blue berry?
Reply
ladytigerhunts
| 20
Well she said "black...blueberry." So it's either that or this.
Reply
ohSNAPyall
| 26
Because his face is segmented like a blackberry's.
Reply
ohSNAPyall
| 26
Just imagine spider eyes.
Reply
Enslaved
| 36
Maybe she meant Blueberry as in a round shape?
I'm thinking Violet from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory".
I'm thinking Violet from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory".
Reply
crazytwinsmom
| 25
Maybe OP is black with a blueberry shaped face.
Reply
buckdharma
| 35
Maybe she meant a blue Blackberry, meaning he's phony. Wait, what?
Reply
SarahSehhati
| 40
She was drunk! She doesn't even know what she ment! Lol
Reply
ohSNAPyall
| 26
Y'all are Blue Meanies.
By
silvercamaro
| 21
So that's a no to a second date than
By
Earths_Venus
| 25
'Check please' or 'check if she's still breathing please'?
Reply
Shadowvoid
| 33
I'm pretty sure I've heard that if your date dies, that your date is free. Now that may not be a real policy, but it would certainly be a common courtesy on the account of how tragic that whole incident would most likely be
Reply
foxwasalamb
| 24
how often do people on dates really die though, that it would be made into a "common policy"?
Reply
WaxenSecrets
| 5
He never said anything about a common policy...
By
andiesaur
| 18
Leave her with the check. Problem solved.
By
Rowdyyy91
| 10
Go ahead an introduce her to the folks OP! She's a keeper for sure.
By
Jason324
| 18
Well at least she didn't vomit.
By
MissHeartSihk
| 24
There's nothing worse than a sloppy drunk.