Don't even try to explain... No use.

And I graduated and I'm married thanks for missing my life mom I hate u *walks up the stairs in anger*

Graduated, married and still living with his alcoholic mother? Sounds like a recipe for fail.

Moms...

Just smile and nod next time, don't waste half an hour

Anyone else realize that the 18th was a Saturday?

I posted that the day I saw this lol but it's not on here!

I hope you're going to bartending school. Your mom could sure use your skills and she could help you with your homework -- a great mother-daughter bonding opportunity.

I didn't know bartending schools existed.

You sir, have not lived.

#33, Yes, you can get a doctoral degree in Mixology.

When you find an M.D. that can whip up a Harvey Wallbanger, you're dealing with a bartending school graduate.

All M.D.s have been to medical school. A Ph.D. Perhaps.

M. D. can stand either for Medicinae Doctor or Mixologiae Doctor.

The confusion is cleared up once the martini is poured.

Did she get it by 5:30?

Well aren't you a mathematical genius?

Lol, I was confused as to whether she started at 4:30 and it ended up turning 5:00 or if she started this nonsense at 5:00. No need to get snotty over FML.

^ ????

Why would she take a half hour to explain it was 5 if it was 4:30?
Think before you post

Why is that an important detail? Haha

Your mom is a bad role model. Fyl OP

It's 5 o'clock somewhere!

Lol homer said something like that in an episode but i forget most of it xD

#5 Alan Jackson?

It's also happy hour somewhere...

But not here. [takes another swig]

Sucks to suck. I wouldn't have tried to explain...

Its 5 o'clock in the morning.

The conversation got boring

i masterbated into a sock.

So I snuck off to your bedroom.

then it clogged my washer.

Lmfao... "It's five in the morning. Conversation got boring. I masturbated in a sock. So, I snuck off to your bedroom. Then it clogged my washer."...I don't think that's how the song goes sillies! :p

I can emphasize with OP... The same thing happened with me before my parents passed on. Except for me it was 7:00pm.

You mean sympathise.

No she means empathize.

Show her your homework, call her a bitch, and leave.

We have a badass over here.

Beer: the cause of and solution to all life's problems.