And I graduated and I'm married thanks for missing my life mom I hate u *walks up the stairs in anger*

Graduated, married and still living with his alcoholic mother? Sounds like a recipe for fail.

Moms...

Just smile and nod next time, don't waste half an hour

Anyone else realize that the 18th was a Saturday?

I posted that the day I saw this lol but it's not on here!

I didn't know bartending schools existed.

You sir, have not lived.

#33, Yes, you can get a doctoral degree in Mixology. When you find an M.D. that can whip up a Harvey Wallbanger, you're dealing with a bartending school graduate.

All M.D.s have been to medical school. A Ph.D. Perhaps.

M. D. can stand either for Medicinae Doctor or Mixologiae Doctor. The confusion is cleared up once the martini is poured.

Well aren't you a mathematical genius?

Lol, I was confused as to whether she started at 4:30 and it ended up turning 5:00 or if she started this nonsense at 5:00. No need to get snotty over FML.

^ ????

Why would she take a half hour to explain it was 5 if it was 4:30? Think before you post

Why is that an important detail? Haha

Lol homer said something like that in an episode but i forget most of it xD

#5 Alan Jackson?

It's also happy hour somewhere... But not here. [takes another swig]

The conversation got boring

i masterbated into a sock.

So I snuck off to your bedroom.

then it clogged my washer.

Lmfao... "It's five in the morning. Conversation got boring. I masturbated in a sock. So, I snuck off to your bedroom. Then it clogged my washer."...I don't think that's how the song goes sillies! :p

You mean sympathise.

No she means empathize.

We have a badass over here.