Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML
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By
tellithowitis
| 13
Don't even try to explain... No use.
By
McMan
| 23
Tell her school was canceled for national alcohol abuse awareness day and that they were coming to get her. May provide some entertainment.
Comments
By
tellithowitis
| 13
Don't even try to explain... No use.
Reply
MuziKMajoR
| 5
And I graduated and I'm married thanks for missing my life mom I hate u *walks up the stairs in anger*
Reply
ClassyCommando
| 13
Graduated, married and still living with his alcoholic mother? Sounds like a recipe for fail.
Reply
lebronesque73091
| 12
Moms...
Reply
naughtia
| 14
Just smile and nod next time, don't waste half an hour
Reply
Gbtel
| 0
Anyone else realize that the 18th was a Saturday?
Reply
dreamer9614
| 3
I posted that the day I saw this lol but it's not on here!
By
perdix
| 29
I hope you're going to bartending school. Your mom could sure use your skills and she could help you with your homework -- a great mother-daughter bonding opportunity.
Reply
1awliet
| 8
I didn't know bartending schools existed.
Reply
LightningCactus
| 12
You sir, have not lived.
Reply
perdix
| 29
#33, Yes, you can get a doctoral degree in Mixology.
When you find an M.D. that can whip up a Harvey Wallbanger, you're dealing with a bartending school graduate.
When you find an M.D. that can whip up a Harvey Wallbanger, you're dealing with a bartending school graduate.
Reply
conqueror57
| 11
All M.D.s have been to medical school. A Ph.D. Perhaps.
Reply
perdix
| 29
M. D. can stand either for Medicinae Doctor or Mixologiae Doctor.
The confusion is cleared up once the martini is poured.
The confusion is cleared up once the martini is poured.
By
kingsley_fml
| 8
Did she get it by 5:30?
Reply
ollie179
| 21
Well aren't you a mathematical genius?
Reply
kingsley_fml
| 8
Lol, I was confused as to whether she started at 4:30 and it ended up turning 5:00 or if she started this nonsense at 5:00. No need to get snotty over FML.
Reply
AssassinsCRB
| 0
^ ????
Reply
maronofhearts
| 19
Why would she take a half hour to explain it was 5 if it was 4:30?
Think before you post
Think before you post
Reply
ZealIFeel
| 7
Why is that an important detail? Haha
By
biggestfan23
| 11
Your mom is a bad role model. Fyl OP
By
DontModMeDammit
| 10
It's 5 o'clock somewhere!
Reply
GovernorGeneral
| 8
Lol homer said something like that in an episode but i forget most of it xD
Reply
LunaDragon
| 10
#5 Alan Jackson?
Reply
FMLbeginner
| 0
It's also happy hour somewhere...
But not here. [takes another swig]
But not here. [takes another swig]
By
Blue_berry_594
| 0
Sucks to suck. I wouldn't have tried to explain...
By
AdamBasebal69
| 0
Its 5 o'clock in the morning.
Reply
Geddeson
| 4
The conversation got boring
Reply
flockz
| 19
i masterbated into a sock.
Reply
natashax21
| 5
So I snuck off to your bedroom.
Reply
flockz
| 19
then it clogged my washer.
Reply
sinking_fish
| 12
Lmfao... "It's five in the morning. Conversation got boring. I masturbated in a sock. So, I snuck off to your bedroom. Then it clogged my washer."...I don't think that's how the song goes sillies! :p
By
questionsarecool
| 10
I can emphasize with OP... The same thing happened with me before my parents passed on. Except for me it was 7:00pm.
Reply
lawlwhut
| 5
You mean sympathise.
Reply
micahsmommy
| 13
No she means empathize.
By
smallsmerry123
| 5
Show her your homework, call her a bitch, and leave.
Reply
xxmel
| 6
We have a badass over here.
By
Red_Wing_Nut44
| 14
Beer: the cause of and solution to all life's problems.