Intimacy, Health, Sex, Emergency and Painful: How? Why? What?

How? Why? What?

By Anonymous - 15/07/2023 00:02

Today, I finally had sex, but I busted up her cervix, and now we are at the hospital. It was my first time, and now I don’t want to have sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 814

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Same thing different taste

The Rupture

By oofouchmyvagooter - 06/10/2019 16:00

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in over a week, because I had been having weird cramps. Afterwards, I was experiencing the worst pain I’ve felt in my entire life, so we went to the ER. Turns out my cramping was from an ovarian cyst, and having sex made it rupture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 529

You deserved it 205

By Anonymous - 15/01/2016 16:01 - United States - Worcester

Today, I finally had sex after a year-long dry spell. It caused an ovarian cyst to rupture and ended up with me in the ER. I'm afraid to ever have sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 553

You deserved it 2 256

By Anonymous - 06/10/2018 21:00 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, I got to see my fiancé for the first time in 3 months. While we were having sex for the first time, he slipped out and slammed into the back of my vagina, tearing it open. Now I won't stop bleeding, it hurts to pee, and we can't have sex. I won't see him for another 2 months after this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 933

You deserved it 485

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 133

You deserved it 10 844

FML Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/08/2017 06:00

Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 587

You deserved it 875

By Anonymous - 17/01/2011 01:28 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 095

You deserved it 7 018

50 Shades of Grey's Anatomy

By Anonymous - 14/01/2023 12:00

Today, I had the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. Too bad it put me in the hospital with a slipped disc and a concussion, and yet I just know me and the violent lady in question will probably do it all again at our next date. Good thing my health insurance is paid up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 1 191

Anemic performance

By too dumb for sex - 16/03/2019 22:00

Today, we tried to have sex for the first time but I got so excited my blood pressure shot up and I got a nosebleed that didn't fully stop for nearly 30 minutes. Then when we tried again she accidentally headbutted me. The new bleeding still hasn't stopped and I'm feeling very lightheaded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 266

You deserved it 256

By Mini-wanker - 18/10/2011 17:34 - United States

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 534

You deserved it 8 859

Bad sex

By Anonymous - 24/06/2022 22:00

Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 645

You deserved it 221

Jendaflooid 5

Saturday 15 July 2023 2:09

...were you trying to climb inside or something?!?!

incognitomiso 13

Saturday 15 July 2023 4:06

don't be discouraged, the first time isn't as glamorous as it seems. you probably went too deep and too fast.

Comments

Jendaflooid 5

Saturday 15 July 2023 2:09

...were you trying to climb inside or something?!?!

incognitomiso 13

Saturday 15 July 2023 4:06

don't be discouraged, the first time isn't as glamorous as it seems. you probably went too deep and too fast.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Saturday 15 July 2023 13:01

Pro tip: Don't kneel on your girlfriend when you're trying to have sex.

rebelwithmouseyhair 18

Monday 17 July 2023 15:04

Whatever you did, you went at it too hard. And you're here trying to gain sympathy for your sorry ass but I'm only sorry for your (hopefully soon to be ex) GF