Miscellaneous: Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience...

By Experience - 05/02/2013 20:19 - United States - Waynesfield

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 006

You deserved it 3 587

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Same thing different taste

Bad omen

By pupitre - 18/10/2011 00:16 - Canada

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 484

You deserved it 4 951

By ItGirl - 09/11/2014 02:36 - Sweden - Eskilstuna

Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 520

You deserved it 3 358

By Anonymous - 17/10/2010 06:28 - United States

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 114

You deserved it 30 387

By naladetet - 23/11/2014 08:31 - United States - Newark

Today, I accidentally called my boss 'mom'. Now she is jokingly telling everyone that I'm the long-lost daughter she gave up for adoption, because she knew I'd be a failure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 654

You deserved it 4 340

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 04:31 - United States - Havertown

Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 477

You deserved it 1 511

By 2ndgenoration - 17/05/2014 21:56 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, my grandmother told me that since my dad was a mistake, I too am a mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 652

You deserved it 4 202

By Anonymous - 23/06/2014 19:52 - United States

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 691

You deserved it 6 041

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 712

You deserved it 5 788

By Ihavealisp - 16/02/2011 02:32 - United States

Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 684

You deserved it 7 052

Good boy

By Johndoe - 30/10/2021 20:00

Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 147

iamabamf 17

Wednesday 6 February 2013 0:10

Could be worse. My dad just calls me "The Little Bitch."

MrClean17 15

Wednesday 6 February 2013 0:11

I chuckled when I saw your username OP. It seems you've accepted your fate

Comments

missathegirlwond 19

Wednesday 6 February 2013 7:29

Reminds me of the time I asked my mom what her first thought was when she found out she was pregnant with me, and her response was "Can I kill myself?" Ah, parental love!

jelly713 19

Wednesday 6 February 2013 7:53

Honestly, the nickname is not that funny or that mean. Give your dad a nickname to match. I'd call him "Puppet master" & bow on one knee to be dramatic. But that's just me.