By G - 08/10/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML
I agree, your life sucks 16 736
You deserved it 45 141

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Top comments

Lol are you 12?

sailorzoe 14

Gotta have Cs. :)


Lol are you 12?

She could have stuck it up inside her and put it on vibrate

koolkat27 13


Instnt! You genius! Clearly taking time to drop trou, find the vibe button, and insert her phone into her vag is clearly the better solution! How she be so daft?!

Hey at least her dad is a realist.

Llama_Face89 33

Hey ya don't have to be a kid to have a small rack.

Big phone or small breasts....

je_suis_fml 11

102- but you have to be a kid for "dad" to confiscate your phone...

Llama_Face89 33

119- not necessarily. Could have strict parents.

Tell him he's creepy for staring at your boobs and for that he's not taking your phone.

16 - win. "You know daddy, I have no idea where my phone is, mind giving me a call so I can find it? OHHHHH YESSS DADDY"

You dont have to be 12 to have small breasts. My older sister is 18 and she's a 32A. Shes in college, but my parents could still take away her phone when she comes home if she got in trouble since they're paying for her phone.

Jammy01jams 2

126 - strict parents or not, the key word is "let" them take it away. Unless you're 12 don't let your parents take your phone. That is how you communicate with them and others to not be a complete antisocial loser. My parents at least understand this.. Idk what is wrong with you guys. Ever said no to your parents. I am obedient to my parents but they surprisingly don't always know best. They've admitted that a couple of times. There are other punishments, yet I rarely have them inflicted due to my parents not being social retard strict fucks, and me having the ability to bot get caught on every small bad thing I do.

Maybe if you were disciplined properly you wouldnt be such a dumbfuck now

hannahcorrine 0

Oh snap

Yes. She must be 12. It would be creepier if it were an uncle, in my opinion. Or if they reached in there.

Haha. Like everyones saying. You don't have to be 12 to have small boobs. And I'm just 13 and have bigger than C's. Hell, I had C's when I was 12. And I'm not fat so it's not fat boobs.

Lol I read ur name and then ur comment, it was funny

robinhood007 9

Whoa, youre so cool, how the fuck does the world not realize this?

I'm in my late teens and I wear an A32. Age has nothing to do with boob size.

sailorzoe 14

Gotta have Cs. :)

Your tattoos are awesome btw

nollid7 5

She probably has a smart phone, only thing is, the inventors weren't very smart when it came to the size. They're F**KING huge.

"Hey I'm going to invent a phone that can do nearly everything a computer can!" "Oh cool! How big are you going to make it?" "Oh, about this big. I could make it any size I want, since it runs on pure magic, but I just feel that this is a good size."

Llama_Face89 33

Damn nice ink.

HybridWhiteboy 0

I like your tattoos :)

hahahahahahaha! 50 just made my day.

Kap10 0

Yoo tats make youu stand out theree koooo dont let no one put u doown kus of emm:].

saam26 0

I bet you have Cs and nice tatts

200- Could you translate that into English please?

Wow I'm not a grammar nazi but c'mon seriously!!!!

angeorange 0

You look like you have an A cup lololll.

8313girl 28

Yeah I've gotten so drunk that I've lost my phone in my cleavage. Completely forget it's there and after 30 minutes of searching, someone finally decides to call it and my boobs vibrate. It can happen.

what about triple D's ;)


Do you have a phone from the 80's?

ilikeemsmall 4

No, she has boobs from the early 2000's

8 - ROTFLMFAO!!!!! you just made my day!

stangbabyxo4 7

Maybe it's time for a smaller phone! :)

or a boob job.

eharmonee 0

Dude I freaking love your turtle(: haha

bizarre_ftw 21

53 - so do I! 35 - well one would only help her hide her phone, the other would help her keep her phone & then text all the shallow guys lining up to 'date' her. Which one would you choose? (personally I prefer the double duty option. Or to simplify: idea DD)

Hey high five for posting the sane idea at the same time!

Invest in a smaller cellphone...

You know,this is probably going to be thumbed down a ton because I said "Invest in..."

Llama_Face89 33

Or OP could invest in a boob job to to better hide her phone. Option A may be cheaper though. :P

I almost added that info but I was afraid of feedback I would get.. :-P

Srsly? God insted if that why not put it in your pants. Unless hes just... Into that he wouldnt get it

MyLifeIsAverageS 5

That was pretty stupid. why was your dad looking there?

crinx034 0

Maybe because he saw a huge square bump in her chest area, just a guess though...

matt120784 0

Because boobs are boobs and he's a guy?

nitewlf12 10

40- Ew. That comment requires no response. That's just gross and not worth even considering.

You do realize he's her dad? Unless you dig incest.

Llama_Face89 33

40- dude...she's his have to be pretty messed up to be checking out one of your children.

bizarre_ftw 21

The worst part is it does actually happen

Llama_Face89 33

43- why'd you respond then?

Biggest d bag little kid ever!

Adman567 9

Haha. Grow your balls, try hard bieber.

I like how I can tell Adman's comment was meant for the other number 5.

MyLifeIsWierd 12

Its OPs dad not OPs step dad..

Haaa. Grow those puppies(:

How old are you? And WHY was your dad looking there...? Perv

Oh yes, he just had to be directly looking at her boobs. He couldn't of seen an unusual black object out of the corner of his eye and glanced at it, seeing that it was her cell phone. Also, I doubt that he'd get a sexual rush out of seeing his daughter's tits.

Sadly some dads would get a sexual rush from that

HentaiBunny 4

You're a pro.

I bet you could hide your phone fine there 59

zyxwvutsrqponmlk_fml 0

Your logic is flawed, her phone might well go with her dad everywhere if it got taken, or he may turn it off, or put it on silent, or put it in a locked compartment, or simply get rid of it, depending on the type of parent OP's father is.

Or quit getting in trouble and take the punishment when you deserve it? Since living without a cell phone isn't exactly cruel and unusual punishment.

Last comment was meant for post 6...

Ray9889 8

I don't see how that would help her? Ok so he "loses" her phone. If he can take it away. I'm pretty sure he is the one who bought for her. So chances are if he gets her another one he'll just get her a cheap one and not a state of the art phone. And let's say she does get a new phone? Either way, I doubt he will lift her punishment so she will still need to wait. Wouldn't it be the same to just give him the phone and wait for the punishment to be over? Leaves her in the same position pretty much.

drawmesunshine 17

If I was a parent, I'd turn it off before I hid it. Then my punk-ass thief of a daughter can't con me into buying her new one. Which would be fucked up on her part, if I may so bold to say.

Bad idea...what if when he's holding it one of her friends texts something rather..."explicit". Now how awkward would that be? Lol

dabowlingman 14

Wow just wow

ducttapewallet 7

Tl; dr.

fml8396 0

I feel like you just told me a story I really didn't want to read.

Haha that sounds like something I would do

Do you live in a sitcom where this would actually work? Or are your parents that stupid? How about "don't do shit that gets your phone confiscated"? Much better strategy. Or try showing your parents you're worthy of their respect and trust. If my kid tried this stunt on me I'd just restrict her phone use through the company.

I did that when I was a kid but they had turned it off.

Comment Moderated by OP.

Clozzie 0

I can and im 13! 30B rules

Because we all needed to know the size of your boobs......

ya...13, 30B, and two rolls of charmin!!!

TheBeastiest 6

Her immaturity made he thing that this would make a good comment

30b would be about a 34aa...

Hey I am 12 and I got 38B

I wouldn't brag about that :/

eharmonee 0

Dude 30b is small haha and the number just represents the size around your rib cage lol the smaller that number is typically the smaller boobs you have just because you are a small person.

Lol I bet that's a small cellphone then since I'm 34B and can't hide my IPhone non-awkwardly. Also, you're 13, stop posting about your breast size. Not many care to hear that from a middle schooler.

Just saying there ARE little girls with very big breasts....some girls develop very soon and overboard. My Sis is going to be 13 this month and she's DD -.- I'm not even that big and I'm going to be 20 soon, I'm D. Age doesn't really have a huge factor in how big you will be. Just saying.

I don't think she was wearing a vest.

elephantcrazy 7

True I was a D by 13

Why does fml keep messin up the numbers?

JinxosGirl87 0

I highly doubt those girls with the big boobs are 105 lbs...probably a bit over weight :P

no when I was 13 I had DD boobs an was 97 pounds yes I was underweight I hated how big my boobs were cuz theyed hit my face all the taime and got in the way

More like invest in bigger boobs

iloveeyouuxD 9

My friend is still 12 and wears a double d. Get over your self

Wow! Good to know...NOT!!! No one cares If ur 13 and have big boobs...don't b a ho.

Wow good to know...NOT!!!! No one cares if ur 13 and have big boobs...dont be a ho!

Llama_Face89 33

Unless you're at least 18 I really couldn't care less. :

Llama_Face89 33

26- that's why your profile says 15?

Hey 26, I don't think the man boobs actually count! And that is not actually something to proud of. I'm older than you and let's just say even my friend have smaller chests than that! That is honestly disgusting and repulsive and it sounds like you do not respect yourself if you are comfortable saying that kind of stuff on a public, international on line website!

Umm. Aren't you supposed to be 17 or older to use fml? Lol

38B would mean you are a) fat with extremely small breasts for your size b) have a giant ribcage and disproportionately small breasts or c) too stupid to know how bra sizes work and are lying.

7- no one needs/wants to know that.

punkin_26 16

This is for all the kids that are posting their bra size. Don't be so proud to have big breasts. When you get older you will realize the health problems they pose. And I'm sure you are already aware of the fact that they get you a lot of unwanted attention. I feel sorry for the 13 year olds with DD's. I would be asking my parents for a breast reduction at that point.

UsernameInCanada 7

30B's are pretty small, so I don't know why your happy and taunting when you probably can't do it with most cell phones.

It's not that big of a deal to have big boobs at a young age and health wise... Back problems. That's it.

of all the places to hide a choose your under-developed boobs? really? judging by that thought process and the itty bitty titty committee membership, I'd estimate your age at...11?

Some women have small boobs in there 20s, so just because she has small boobs, doesn't mean she's that young

ban_anaa 0

She must be pretty young if her dad is able to confiscate her phone, don't you think?

160 that's true

meggo91 9

I agree I'm 20 and have small breast but got a ass

thehalfelf 2

Ahahaha itty bitty titty committe That's great

no, but it does mean she's that stupid. hide it in your boobs? really? why not in your pocket, or sit on it, or under a cushion?