Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed...

By Anonymous - United States - Red Oak

Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35303

You deserved it

10853

Favorite

Love

Proactive

Out of it

Vultures

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, my younger brother brought home his new bagpipes. My older brother plays the drums. I'm currently preparing to sit the most important exams of my schooling life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27407

You deserved it

2390

Favorite

By Noname - United States

Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML

I agree, your life sucks

437953

You deserved it

102841

Favorite

By pritch44 - United States

Today, I found out that we have six skunks under my shed. While I was mowing the lawn, they all came out and sprayed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40437

You deserved it

4029

Favorite

By Rosie - United States - Brunswick

Today, my boyfriend of over a year said that being in a relationship is pointless. When I responded that I couldn't picture my life without him, he said he couldn't picture his life without our cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16039

You deserved it

1628

Favorite

By thankful

Today, I was tripped downstairs as a "joke" by my little brother. When I was yelling in pain from my broken arm, my mom was lecturing me to be thankful "one goddamn day a year". She also thinks I'm lying just to hide that I'm clumsy and my brother is innocent. He won't admit it. Happy Thanksgiving. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3121

You deserved it

171

Favorite

By Anonymous - Sweden - G?teborg

Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

29678

You deserved it

4206

Favorite

By laurencoc - Australia - Perth

Today, I dyed my hair purple. I came out of the salon and a little girl walked past and said, "Wow, you look like a mermaid!", to which her mother quickly said, "No she doesn't, she looks like her parents don't love her." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30832

You deserved it

5093

Favorite

By xOdaatx - Australia

Today, my fiancé told me his ex-wife was 5 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her, and glad she had finally moved on. Until I found out who the father was. They're moving back in together, for the baby's sake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42327

You deserved it

3023

Favorite

By sucksssssss - France

Today, while at work, my boss asked me to clean the bathroom. Someone pooped on the floor and I stepped in it, dropping my manager's keys into the toilet. I then had to clean up my shoe and the floor and put my hand in the toilet to get the keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34059

You deserved it

3967

Favorite

By -_- - Australia - Elwood

Today, I was confiding in my dad over the phone, after I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. After I hung up and went online, I noticed he'd been live-blogging the whole call on Facebook and commenting that he was considering suicide to escape the boredom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52364

You deserved it

4940

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Colchester

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks

44772

You deserved it

3116

Favorite

By don't get paid enough for this - United States - Youngstown

Today, while at my shitty, minimum wage job at McDonalds, a guy walked out of the bathroom. He said "Good luck in there." worriedly, then left. I don't know if it was his handiwork, but it looked like a shit grenade had detonated. It was even on the walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29290

You deserved it

2167

Favorite

By Bilibók Renáta

Today, I drove my car into a fence because a spider was crawling from the mirror. The police laughed their asses off. One of them asked, "What should I write in the report? That she got scared of a spider?" Then he wrote just that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1335

You deserved it

782

Favorite

By Sickasadog - United States

Today, I painted my daughter's room with the new paint we bought. It's an oil-based paint which hides all blemishes on the wall, but apparently makes me sick. I'm now throwing up everywhere, but at least the room looks good. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5655

You deserved it

662

Favorite

By Ohgodithurts - 19/10/2020 11:00

Roommates from hell, part 4874

Today, I got a second degree sunburn everywhere above my waist, for which I've been using a medicated lotion. My roommate "pranked" me by switching the lotion with a similarly colored, very caustic acne wash. My chest feels like it's roasting in hell and is oozing pus and oil now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1371

You deserved it

Favorite

By Arniii - United States

Today, it was our class field trip. I got five dollars from ten different people because they wanted me to sit away from them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32327

You deserved it

4985

Favorite

By car trouble - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my dad refused to pick me up because he didn't want to get off the couch, so I had to walk for an hour and a half to get home. When I finally got home, my dad had gone out to pick my sister up from her friend's house. Her friend lives a 3-minute walk away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13050

You deserved it

752

Favorite

By AprilFlowers - United States

Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42026

You deserved it

7353

Favorite

By WitchQueenLiz - United States

Today, it was my birthday. Normally, the little office I work in throws a big party for every employee on their special day, but nothing was done for me, not even a "Happy Birthday" came my way. I didn't want to be rude, so I stayed silent. They didn't do anything because I was getting laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65605

You deserved it

3105

Favorite

By apparentfatty - Canada

Today, I found out that my husband thinks I'm fat when I caught him slipping diet pills into my morning smoothie. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35210

You deserved it

7104

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I was staying at my friend's house, which is next door. Our houses are the same layout, only mirrored, so tonight when I got out of bed in the dark I instinctively turned to my left, thinking I was entering the bathroom, and fell down the stairs. Three of my teeth are missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3324

You deserved it

401

Favorite

By Lionman - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML

I agree, your life sucks

28173

You deserved it

2708

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, while working at a restaurant, I told an old couple their “vibrator will go off when a table is available”. I meant to say pager. They walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3814

You deserved it

963

Favorite

By WellFineThen - United States - Cedar Falls

Today, at work, a woman screamed at me and called me a bitch because I refused to refund something we give away for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4891

You deserved it

262

Favorite

By Christin Deason

A Tale of Two Nutritionists

Today, a friend criticized my detox method, calling it "unhealthy and unsafe." Recently, she made a post bragging about her dieting method, which is also very unhealthy and unsafe. I told her she was being a hypocrite. She unfriended and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1230

You deserved it

355

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36271

You deserved it

2766

Favorite

By Anonymous - Iceland

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31358

You deserved it

15538

Favorite

By wow. - United States - Chicago

Today, I let my sister use my phone to play music in the shower, expecting her to use the speakers I have. She used a ziplock bag with a hole in it to connect her headphones. Now I have a waterlogged phone and my sister still doesn't understand why it didn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47516

You deserved it

8109

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Moncton

Today, I discovered that the pain I've had for the past couple of weeks was actually due to a broken collar bone. Now work won't pay for the treatment I need because I continued to work despite the pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22483

You deserved it

2258

Favorite

By oops - Australia - Newtown

Today, I needed to pee at my friend's house. His bathroom door is often left closed even if there's no one in there, so I knocked just to make sure. His stepdad opened the door stark naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31806

You deserved it

2770

Favorite

By Starter656

Today, I'm the designated driver for a Christmas party I wasn't even invited to. Not only do I get to watch people have a good time, but I'm also supposed to not get involved in the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4288

You deserved it

775

Favorite

By VoiceMail - Australia

Today, when I picked up my repeat subscription of anti-anxiety medication, they had changed the packaging to be more 'child safe'. Now it's so hard to get the pills out that I had an anxiety attack trying to take one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35148

You deserved it

7833

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I got told that I have a dainty sneeze. It was the closest thing I've had to a compliment I've had in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1409

You deserved it

129

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Westerose

Today I started a new job, I found out that my employer doesn't follow the labour laws and my new co-workers are planning on reporting the owner of the company. The owner is my father, and I want to help them report him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7004

You deserved it

780

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28798

You deserved it

4978

Favorite

By porkieworkie - United States

Today, just after getting off the phone with a girl I am interested in, I parked on campus and decided to eat my lunch in the car. As I was sitting there, she appeared out of nowhere and walked to her car. I was parked directly behind her car, sitting there like a creepy ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58595

You deserved it

9232

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, it was snowing. I slipped on the ice and fell in the middle of the road, dislocating my left shoulder and knee. As I was screaming in pain and trying to stand up, two boys on the pavement threw snowballs at me while everyone in the cars just drove around me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38088

You deserved it

2783

Favorite

By Username - United States

Today, I realized that my wife is such a bitch normally, she's actually nicer when she is on her period. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39385

You deserved it

8140

Favorite

By md - Canada

Today, I got an alarm installed in my car, and was having problems with it not going off when the car was hit. To demonstrate this to the installers, I bumped my car with my hip, which left a dent, and set the alarm off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9502

You deserved it

28260

Favorite

By girlsgottagotoo - United States - Covina

Today, I passed a cashier when I came into a store. Later I passed him again as I was leaving, and he asked me if I needed help finding something because I had been in the store for a while. I told him I had been browsing upstairs, but in reality, I had been in the restroom the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10520

You deserved it

1499

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By cheezter | 15

#6074050 - Friday 26 September 2014 0:07

Best future daughter in law ever

By RageWolf16 | 31

#6074047 - Friday 26 September 2014 0:07

That's incredibly awkward o.o

COMMENTS

By RageWolf16 | 31

#6074047 - Friday 26 September 2014 0:07

That's incredibly awkward o.o

gramirez23 | 9

#6074070 - Friday 26 September 2014 0:15

And incredibly hot

persianjr | 15

#6074170 - Friday 26 September 2014 3:04

Hopefully his dad will have a sense of humor about it!

urdirtyolduncle | 15

#6074218 - Friday 26 September 2014 4:26

Imagine if his dad tells her in private "call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you."

BigLatchZatch | 14

#6074248 - Friday 26 September 2014 5:09

( o ).( o )

SystemofaBlink41 | 27

#6074253 - Friday 26 September 2014 5:17

Your username fits your comment perfectly.

flutterby789 | 8

#6075299 - Saturday 27 September 2014 15:59

could have been worse, could have been his mother

By colton_colton | 49

#6074049 - Friday 26 September 2014 0:07

Hopefully he wasn't just staring at you

AriettaX | 15

#6074144 - Friday 26 September 2014 2:05

Haha im sure the dad saw 2 sets of wide eyes

redstone7693 | 29

#6075063 - Saturday 27 September 2014 5:56

Were you wearing a shirt or not? That changes everything

By cheezter | 15

#6074050 - Friday 26 September 2014 0:07

Best future daughter in law ever

MrDonSalvetti | 27

#6074114 - Friday 26 September 2014 1:17

Yeah, if my future son will have a girlfriend like this, I'll know I did everything right! Thumbs up!

By goaliestud30 | 23

#6074052 - Friday 26 September 2014 0:08

Ur funny

LittleBells | 17

#6074230 - Friday 26 September 2014 4:37

'Ur not'

By Sudokori | 13

#6074055 - Friday 26 September 2014 0:08

If this happened to me my dad would have gone on a complete rant about how a proper lady should act and how I would never see her again unless she straightened up.