Animals: Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a...

By Anonymous - 29/01/2011 08:09 - France

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 496

You deserved it 4 479

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/04/2011 02:21 - United States

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 599

You deserved it 8 665

By roze198765 - 04/08/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 855

You deserved it 4 377

Bad day?

By Anonymous - 16/02/2021 11:01

Today, after waking up to a spilled bottle of juice on my clothes, I heard my ex died. Whilst baking cookies to distract myself, I melted my work laptop on the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 290

By thebravelittletoaster - 20/03/2011 20:32 - United Kingdom

Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 357

You deserved it 9 851

By 12693 - 24/10/2012 17:35 - Australia - Perth

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 566

You deserved it 2 105

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 21:19 - United States

Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 659

You deserved it 96 585

Poor Despereaux

By Squeak - 06/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Fort Bragg

Today, I baked a cake. After feeding it to my entire family, I opened the stove, planning to temporarily store the cake inside. I then noticed a mouse, burnt to a crisp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 505

You deserved it 784

By a cat named tiddles - 30/03/2017 00:00

Today, my cat looked like it was about to puke, so I put it outside. Unhappy with the situation, it leaped on to the kitchen window ledge and squeezed in through the open window, only to projectile vomit mid-leap all over the kitchen counter. I found a hairball in the butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 397

You deserved it 757

By Lifes_a_bust - 08/08/2010 16:22 - United States

Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 958

You deserved it 4 444

RIP

By Anonymous - 07/04/2011 07:11 - United Kingdom

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 858

You deserved it 4 146

CitrusGirl 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 16:06

That cat's a pussy.

aryan_chris 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 16:10

Toasters a new weapon for murder now. What is the world coming to...

Comments

DenisV95 2

Saturday 29 January 2011 16:53

How?

Zaira921 7

Saturday 29 January 2011 16:53

#29 They already make pre-toasted bread, it's made by a company called Bimbo.

zhuzhu89 1

Saturday 29 January 2011 16:54

omg!

ArmedcrackerR6 8

Saturday 29 January 2011 16:56

Damnit that's what I was going to say!!!

YigalElohev 2

Saturday 29 January 2011 16:57

Awww, sorry. Poor kitty :(

some1azn 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 17:02

Hmm, clever cat. <.<

tykiej 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 17:09

Aww poor pus!! Sorry about your loss OP!!

Norwegian_Wood 4

Saturday 29 January 2011 17:12

Oh God. This FML made my heart stop. My cat is scared of every little thing too... OP, I'm so so sorry for your loss, that is absolutely awful. :(

armandoX113 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 17:13

hahahaha nice

williamscott 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 17:16

lol

Keywords

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Today, I realized that I'm the only person in my house not getting any. My sister is sleeping with my ex. My roommate is sleeping with my brother, and my mom texted me, asking to make it look like she slept in her bed so that she didn't have to do the "walk of shame" in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 457

You deserved it 2 906

Today, my crush let me know that he has a prom date. Obviously I'm supportive because I just want him to be happy, even if it's not me. I casually let him know that I'm going with someone else too, and now he's really mad about it. If he'd asked me before, I would've said yes. Like… Hello? How dare I get a prom date! FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 94

The Top

Today, my boss keeps pointing out similarities between his wife and me. I genuinely dislike her, and have feelings for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 1 038

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I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 1 620

Today, I found out that all together, I have mono, strep, a UTI, and a enlarged spleen. How am I going to tell my friend that I made out with his dad, and now his dad is sick? This man gives his newborn kisses every night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 1 429

Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 944

You deserved it 5 999

Today, I was knocked unconscious by the 10 year-old I was babysitting because it was his younger sister's bedtime and he didn't want her to go. When I came to, their mother was screaming at me for sleeping on the job. In the middle of the kitchen floor. I lost a job and gained a killer headache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 203

You deserved it 1 634

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 400

You deserved it 8 166

Same thing different taste

Bad day?

Poor Despereaux

RIP

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