Today, my mother found out that I'm sexually active. She wants me to tell my father. I'm seventeen, and my father still has trouble grasping the fact that I carry a purse, because it means I'm "growing up." This should be fun. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Same thing different taste
Denial
Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML
Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML
This is me
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. My mother turned to me and said, "Wait you're actually gay? I thought you were just saying that to piss off your father." I came out to her when I was 16, and have confided in her about my past relationships. FML
Great chat!
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
My little girl
Today, I told my parents I'm pregnant. I got a long lecture from my mom about using protection. It would have been fine hearing all that, but I'm turning 22, I moved out a few years ago, have a full time job with great benefits, and am getting married next summer. FML
Today, I finally had the guts to tell my mom about her boyfriend hitting on me. Not only did she not care, but she got mad at me. I'm 15. FML
Freuding intensifies
Today, I'm in 12th grade and came home from school to find out my mother had someone over to have sex while I was at school. She's not had sex my whole life, so the uncomfortable feeling it gave me is different than anything I've felt before. She's been single by the way. FML
Today, I told my mother that I'm pregnant. She went off screaming at me about how I shouldn't be having sex. I am 25 and have been happily married for 3 years. FML
Our secret
Today, my mom is 44 years-old, and she is cheating on my dad with my friend who is 19. And she's paying me to keep her secret. FML
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
Top comments
Rambo881xx 0
Show him a tampon, he will have a heart attack.
westsidewhite 0
daddys little girl :D
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Comments (238)
black_knight402 0
sucks too be you op
deliciouscake 3
I commented below 1 so I can Feel number one in life... derp BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUYBILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUYBILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUYBILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUYBILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUYBILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY I love you all... I am the real 2nd comment...
WTF_FML_FTW 0
dad...I'm sexually active. WHAT?!?!?!? *BOOM*
BigDaddyCain 0
You should tell Mother Dearest to eat a dick.
SettoFail 9
I find this sad, I feel bad for your dad.
PizzaGuy11 0
22nd? i bet i failed.
hellokittywhore 0
lol when I told my mom she was "all hmmmm. ok as long as your careful Im cool with it. just DO NOT tell your dad!! he'll kill ____!! lol so how was it!?!" xD yeah OP good luck with that my dear.
Hotshot132 0
what the **** are you sexually active at seventeen for? I hope you get aids, because that is just ******* wrong. why don't you, instead of having sex, maybe open a book and study for your classes the next ******* day.
hellokittywhore 0
says the 40 year old virgin.
Hotshot132 0
seventeen is just to young in my opinion. I'm not saying that you have yo wait until marriage, though. maybe just like 23 or 24 or something. oh and btw #34, I'm 28, and not a virgin.
smileanyway 0
Tell your father that your pregnant, make sure you look serious and then laugh tell him your just joking and you use protection. You still technically told him and he'd be so relieved it wouldn't matter :) Good Luck Hun!
Hotshot132 0
oh sorry, I meant #38, not 34....oops lol
Timmo_fml 2
I'm sorry, but waiting till 23 or 24 is ridiculous. I'm not saying it's wrong to want to wait that long, fair enough if you want to, but if someone is mature enough, it doesn't matter what age, be it 17 or 30. And before I get the shit about how no 17 year old is mature enough, of course some of them are, everyone's different. Apologies for the rant.
Kawaiichan42 3
48, dear, your rant makes perfect sense. Age is merely a number, and I do think that sexual activity should be based on maturity levels. Ironically enough, I lost my virginity when I was 17, and in hindsight, I don't think I was mature enough. There's so many things that can change before high school is over. I'm not saying everyone should wait until they're finished with high school, but I feel I should have. It would have saved me the nasty break up I went through over my going away to college, which ended up not happening for other reasons. I guess what I'm really trying to say is, it's different for everyone because everyone matures faster, but for people who don't want to have a long list of boyfriends they've slept with, it's probably best to wait until after high school.
Ludii_fml 0
17 too young? need to wait 23? wtfff? puberty happens earlier than the 20's so that you can DO it not so you have to wait ten years resisting the urge..
hannah1203 2
That sucks...so,so much. I'd hate to have a dad like that :/
emiley0413 0
I know how u feel op
deeit87 0
That's the worst thing I've ever heard. 16 is the best age. i was 17 but i wish to god I'd started earlier. Lifes too short to wait to start the best thing worth living for. I'm 22 now, I couldn't imagin my life if I was still a virgin.
skroal 7
YDI for your mother finding out that you're sexually active. She wants you to tell your father. You're seventeen, and your father still has trouble grasping the fact that you carry a purse, because it means you're "growing up." This should be fun.
seanders 10
Skroal just die:)
guckylynn 19
80 it's people like you that spread disease. I was 18 when I lost my virginity and if I had done it any sooner I doubt I'd have been able to handle it when I broke up with the guy I lost it to. Also to whoever said something about puberty, just because you can do it doesn't mean you should. The female body usually isn't fully sexually developed until 17, which is why pregnancy under that age is dangerous.
brit8741 0
80- You sounded like a total ****. No offense. Just sayin'. I think most people at least should wait until after high school, with all the breakup over college/leaving for college/the start of actual LIFE. It just depends. I have two really close friends that got married the summer after high school, they were super mature. Most people aren't like that though.
knight0748 5
well OP, you should show them the sextape you've made.. that would really prove you're growing up.
ashleeyka 13
48 and 55 -I agree, as long as your mature enough its okay. Unless it is with random guys, I think its only okay if you are in love with the person. I started dating my bf when I was 15, we finally did that when we were 16, and now he's 19 and I will be 19 soon and we are still together. I don't regret anything that I've done in high school, it just depends on the person.
deeit87 0
Are you retarded? I didn't say it's time to have sex with 1000 people. Love is what makes sex good dah. And there is no desease in love, unless you love a crack hoe.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
83/85: That's ridiculous. A woman can enjoy having sex and not be a ****. She didn't say she screws every guy she meets; she could have very strict personal rules about only sleeping with committed boyfriends. You have no idea how many partners she has had. Enjoying sex in no way means she has unprotected sex, either. I know I research things I'm interested in, particularly if they can be dangerous.
papernapkin 0
55~ I also lost my virginity at 17. I was completely ready for it and I am still dating the same guy years later. Everyone is different. As long as you feel ready and you are SUPER CRAZY SAFE, whatevs. Also, the average age to lose your virginity is 15, so the OP is doing pretty good, all things considered.
Hotshot132 0
#61, actually the male reproductive organs aren't finished growing until 28.
Kawaiichan42 3
Exactly what IrishJane said. I love sex, but I've only had sex with two people, both committed boyfriends. What do you care if she likes to have random, anonymous sex, as long as she's safe and not spreading diseases she may or may not have?
rohosoccer08 1
I agree that people can be mature enough, but be prepared for the consequences, I was in hs when I lost mine, but I also took resposibility when I got pregnant at 17, I have only been with one guy and we have been together 5 years and now have 2 beautiful kids, some people can handle it, some people can't, it's a personal decision as to whether or not you are ready.
Sanura 0
147 ~ 15 is a young age.
InfiltratedMind 0
147-what highschool did you go to? cause you must have lots of freshmen ******* seniors all the time.
katplayer 4
61, puberty happens before you're 20 because of all the hormones in milk and meat that we're encouraged to consume. That's why little girls bleed from their ****** at 9 instead of 16 or 17 when they would start before we began pumping hormones into our cattle. Are you saying 9-year-olds should be having sex just because they can?
PolishHammer 0
You look like Britta from Community.
xsarahxy 0
sucks I was in your shoes 3 days ago
emmiejean7 0
153- my school indeed has alot of freshman ******* seniors... I actually lost my virginity when I was a freshmen to a psycho ass senior... I'm a junior now and he still to this day stalks and is obsessed with me...
fyllmao 0
cute baby :)
babystunna18 0
24 ;) close though.
Brittney_E 0
i find purses annoying...
comadank 0
how old were you when you lost your V card?? lmao
raney150 0
you are nuts
flame5768 14
really? age is but a number?! I'm gonna go tell my 7 yr old bro it's OK to have sex as long as he has a condom. thank you ever so much for clearing that up!
aquaticmammal624 12
hehe 85 I love it when people do that. Saying something SUPER offensive and then going all 'no offense, just sayin' XD It makes me laugh.
westsidewhite 0
daddys little girl :D
StoryOfTheYear 15
Give Father Heart Attack- 30 GS
ZleveL 0
LOL
Kawaiichan42 3
Totally not something to joke about... My dad almost died of a heart attack yesterday. The main artery on his heart was 90% blocked by a clot caused by stress. Sorry if I come across as bitchy, but I almost lost my daddy and haven't been able to sleep. This comment hits way too close to home right now.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
Yes, you are right. Whenever someone dies or almost dies, the thing that killed or almost killed him/her is instantly never funny again. That means NO jokes about explosions, suffocation, knives, animals, diseases, old age, or ANYTHING because EVERYTHING CAN KILL YOU. Are you kidding me? Heart attacks are ******* hilarious! Watch one sometime! I love to point and laugh while they desperately grope at their own chest and flop around!
deeit87 0
DUDE if your Dad almost died of a heart attack yesterday WTF are you doing on FML?! My Dad had two, and we spent weeks in the hospital with him. Going on the computer didn't even cross my mind let along surfing the web.
hazelkee 0
wow your a loser my mom has a deathly I'll liver problem I don't spend everyday with her in the hospital. grow up. people also have lives
Kawaiichan42 3
84, I really can't do too much. The hospital he's in won't let anyone who isn't 18 or older into the ICU/CVU to visit because they don't want to stress out any heart patients. I have 3 younger siblings and need to help out with them. Excuse me for wanting to keep that off my mind while I'm at home, as my dad is in a hospital about an hour away, since his heart attack happened while he was at work, which is a good hour away. Trollz, I realize how idiotic it sounds, but I am still very upset about what happened. I can't do anything about it, and normally I hate when people do stuff like I did. However, I believe I apologized, and I was really speaking out of hurt.
irockfendergirl 0
79- Normally I laugh at what you say, but your comment about heart attacks was beyond cruel.
katplayer 4
79, I'm all for people having a sense of humor. Rape, death, dead babies, killed pets, it's all hilarious. But not the day after one happens, or nearly happens, to you. Let the girl be traumatized. Dead baby jokes aren't funny the day after you miscarry. Maybe a few years after, but not the next day.
stedfastwolf 11
hoe
Kiimy_fml 0
dumb ass bitch **** *****!!
StoryOfTheYear 15
Lololololololololololololololol Ok truthfully, I KNOW YOUR DAD JUST HAD A HEART ATTACK, but jesus christ take a joke???? it's not like I'm saying YOU, THE PERSON WHOS DAD JUST HAD A HEART ATTACK, THIS IS FOR YOU!!!! EAT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No. This is a joke, learn to take them, instead you're getting your pantaloons in a wad about it Btw I'm sorry for your dad ^^^ Mushy gushy good note ending (no joke though)
Kawaiichan42 3
I've already apologized, I'm pretty sure I put it in the same thing where i kinda flipped. I realize it wasn't meant for me. It sucked he's coming home today, and I still feel like it was all just a bad dream. Again, I'm terribly sorry for yelling at you. I was massively upset.
Rambo881xx 0
Show him a tampon, he will have a heart attack.
hellokittywhore 0
lMFAO!! :D but wait there's moree!!! >_€ fuckyea.
kidclarke 15
Daddy's little **** is growing up.
farquhar 0
how does this make her a ****? op didn't go into detail bout who/how many ppl they slept with......
Hotshot132 0
if she's sexually active at seventeen, then she's a ****.
SmylieVyrus 0
all ***** are hoes. all hoes are bitches , and finally, all women are bitches. that's what makes her a ****. ****
Hotshot132 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
the details don't matter. if she's seventeen and already sexually active, them She's a ****.
twynn 0
hey d-wads i hate to shock you into reality but millions of teens under the age of seventeen are sexually active... and in in some cases pre-teens...like 11-13 yeah i mean conscentually(sorry for that):/ btw im 17
Timmo_fml 2
45 is a twat. End of.
Ludii_fml 0
what the hell...
PineappleEspress 0
so 53 is saying there are millions of ***** around here
XFlyingxPiranhaX 0
Me and my girlfriend are 14. We've had sex several times. ONLY with each other. So.... she is now a ****? If so, **** YOU.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
*rolls eyes* at 45.
deeit87 0
96, nice... most guys don't get there til they are like 18 and it's the 18 year old boys maken it with 14 year old girls. No sarcasm I love young love :)
papernapkin 0
44~ That is not how logic works. Even by your logic, NOT ALL WOMEN ARE *****. What you are saying: All squares are rectangles. All rectangles are shapes. Therefore, all shapes are squares. Oh wait that doesn't work, does it? Take your misogyny and your idiocy somewhere else, thank you.
Nena713 0
I can tell #44 had a troubled childhood. Most likely no mother figure. I'm a psychiatrist, I charge 200 a hour if you're interested.
farquhar 0
17 is a legal age for consent (@least in TX)....she might be a **** if she was like.....12!
Sanura 0
53 - 11 and 13 year olds can't legally consent to sex.
boatkicker 5
53 didn't say it was legal. s/he said it happens.
xNephilim 19
Just because you didn't get any at that age makes everyone who DOES get some a ****? Way to go, idiot.
forever2life 0
looks like daddy's little asshole is making nasty comments again.
farquhar 0
bahaha good luck. why does your dad need to know anyway?? I mean your mother already knows - should be enough!
flawedgenius 6
Introduce him to your boyfriend...
sarskii 0
He's known my boyfriend for a couple years now lol
0___0 9
See, the OP is not a ****, she's been dating her boyfriend for years now. I feel bad for you, I wouldn't want to tell him.
Sober1128 9
I wouldn't tell him!
Jessi_the_sexii 0
tell him there's a bun in the oven. really freak him out.
talkomatic713 13
Then being sexually active won't seem bad at all!
kittykat1501 31
11- and then pull an actual bun out of the oven 234- no, because being sexually active causes pregnancy
Arsonnist 3
Time to get out the belt. Or however he deals with little kids.
InuYasha17 0
I sense an overprotective father... Good or bad depending on how you look at it.