Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML

Today, I forgot my contact solution and used my sister's. When I put them in, my eyes burnt like hell. Apparently my sister has a new solution that is acidic and only gets neutralized after 12 hours in a special container. The warning is on the INSIDE of the bottle label. FML

Today, my girlfriend's little brother challenged me to a water gun fight. I accepted, not knowing he was going to fill his gun with vinegar, then shoot me in the eyes with it. FML

Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML

Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML

How? Why?

Today, my day started with me peeing in my own face. My eye still burns. FML

It burns

Today, after my 22-year-old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

Today, my little brother learned that breaking a glow stick and emptying it into someone's eyes does not help them see in the dark. It's a good lesson, I just wish he hadn't used my eyes to learn it. The doctor says the burning feeling should go away in 3 or 4 days. FML

Double trouble

Today, I accidentally sprayed some perfume in my eye. After rinsing said burning eye with water for a few minutes, I half-blindly grabbed the eyedrops my sister left on the counter and used some. They were actually tea tree oil drops. Ouch. FML

Today, I realized how exhausted I was when I mixed up my eye makeup remover with toner. My eye still burns. FML