How? Why?

Today, I realized how exhausted I was when I mixed up my eye makeup remover with toner. My eye still burns. FML

Down the hatch

Today, I woke up with a hangover and a pounding headache and tried to take an ibuprofen with a glass of water. I missed my mouth and threw the pill directly into my eye. FML

Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML

Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML

Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML

Oh gosh

Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML

Today, I got a really bad sunburn. On my eyelids. Who knew blinking could be so painful? FML

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

Blow it

Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML