Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML
Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML
Today, my dad told me he had a present for me. It was his tooth, which he had pulled out a few minutes before. FML
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML
Today, my daughter lost a tooth. I wanted to make the Tooth Fairy experience extra special, so I dipped her doll's feet in paint to leave “tracks” from the window to her bed. As I was adding the finishing touches and spreading glitter, I tripped on a toy, faceplanted and lost my own tooth. FML
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML
Today, after watching Shrek, my little brother started collecting his earwax to make it into a candle like Shrek did. I can’t get him to throw it away even after bribing him with bags of candy. FML
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Top comments
Jimster1712 0
At least its better than Hebert the pedophile showing up in his room....
dtbomb 3
O man if the Rock came into my room I would be scared shitless because he is massive
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Comments (311)
dhardesty23 8
pff that's way better than the freaking fairy
Fydes 0
Thats adorable.
IgotPoked 0
How the hell is this an FML?
kamikrazy 6
I am not quite sure.
kamikrazy 6
I am not quite sure.
kamikrazy 6
I am not quite sure.
kamikrazy 6
I am not quite sure.
speshlk37 13
That's called prostitution...
FMLsOhilarious 6
#16 Amen to that. I was thinking the same thing!
tsim_fml 0
well lies can go a long way
ProjeKtSC2 8
I accidentally thumbed down your comment sorry.. :'(
prettypinkpixie 9
i purposefully thumbed down your comment...
tsim_fml 0
respect
PElexander 5
That's adorable. Shouldn't be an fml but thanks for sharing.
xxFroggyxx 6
That movie was funny.
HetaliaFreak 10
This comment was not.
mnmolino 14
I'd want The Rock to sneak into my room at night and give me money
speshlk37 13
That's called prostitution...
mnmolino 14
its only prostitution if you have sex
speshlk37 13
What were you planning to do with him in your bedroom? Wrestle?
enopola 5
Oh they were going to wrestle, she was going to put him in a head lock... Between her legs.
perdix 31
41 if she has sex with him for her own pleasure, the money he gives her would just be a gift. By your logic, all those flowers and jewelry and dinners I've given to girls could put me away for a long time!
mnmolino 14
Nice imagery, but what about his fairy wings?
flockz 20
maybe he isn't skilled at sex, so he has to "wing" it sometimes.... *gets shot*
speshlk37 13
Aim for the bushes...
cupcakeluver1212 0
Good one.
BayleeWasHere 1
Haha! Wait…I didn't get it…? Oh well! Haha! xD
aaaahhDamn 0
Does he smell what the Rock is cooking?
laceyanneman 7
The Rock sold himself out with that movie...along with a couple of others.
enopola 5
You'd sell out too for what he's getting to act like a fool.
BradenLock 4
Julie Andrews being in that movie shocked me. Billy Crystal and Dwayne Johnson didn't surprise me nearly as much as she did
ohmandapants 17
Hey! The Rock is gonna come lay the smackdown on your candy ass.