By FMyBrain - 06/06/2014 21:26 - United States - Fairbanks

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML
I agree, your life sucks 52 497
You deserved it 6 032

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Roll yourself in bubble wrap and wait for the Universe to find another hapless victim. It's the only thing left to do.


I stubbed my toe today.... You don't even know

Demig0d6 14

And finally the OP gets an electric shock from clicking the submit button on the PC. RIP dude! On a serious note hope you made it through the day.

Let us know which funeral home to send flowers to

We need a follow up on this one... maybe from your heir(ess)

badluckalex 23

at least op didnt step on a lego. that will truly be the death of him

incoherentrmblr 21

This definitely needs a follow up...

Have you still got your foot, #79, or did it have to be amputated?

Roll yourself in bubble wrap and wait for the Universe to find another hapless victim. It's the only thing left to do.

You just made The Bubble Bunch song get stuck in my head.

tidbits5197 28

But with how their day is going, the Universe may, instead, cause them to suffocate inside the bubble wrap.

Nope. Bubble wrap is impervious to every unfortunate event, and it brings glorious happiness with every bubble popped. I've heard that it's one of the Universe's most hated adversaries.

#2 OP would probably suffocate if he wraps himself in bubble wrap Whoops sorry didn't see #19 comment. Silly me

SrgntSprnkls77 15

"Doesnt see" previous comment Says so in same comment

It's called editing. Smart people use it to correct their mistakes.

"Today, I was doing my daily duties as a table, and some guy rubbed his balls in my face! FML."

In a related story, a man was found suffocated to death inside a ball of bubble wrap. Details at 11.

Just find a nice circular room to spend the day in!

Now is the time to buy a cup and a helmet, for the same reasons.

Legal you are doing a wonderful job as head shot safety inspector. Your advice will continue to save lives and testicles alike.

I would say this is the kind of day when you should just go to bed and sleep... But I'm afraid you might end up dying, suffocating from a vicious pillow.

Go to sleep OP. Not many bad things happen when you are sleeping.

My childhood says otherwise. *twisted smile*

Nonsense, plenty of bad things happen when you're sleeping. You just don't remember them because they'll be parts of dreams that your brain doesn't store as memory, like most parts of dreams.

Your brain doesn't differentiate between reality and a dream while you're asleep. Essentially whatever happens to you in your dreams, may as well really be happening as far as your brain is concerned.

You just need to hide in your blanket and you are safe. The monsters under your bed cant touch you.

What if they have a vivid dream where they have a heart attack and their heart stops in real life

time to deploy the bubble wrap armour!

titandesu 14

and to stay in a fort within the living room

You've only lived one day in my world. Ain't it a bitch?

Well, if there's not a follow-up then we can take OP's word for it.