Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After... - FML

By imalwaystired - 21/1/2010 20:20 - France

Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29295

You deserved it

7573

Tweet

Share

Proactive

Breaking Badly

Lockdown is driving us down

By Anonymous - 6/2/2016 02:16 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, my now ex-boyfriend accused me of wanting to screw his 11-year-old brother, all because I expressed interest in going to his birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23013

You deserved it

1633

Tweet

Share

By BoobiePain - 16/10/2014 02:33 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I got stitches in my breast. I never knew how much they jiggled until every bump on the road made my breast feel like it was on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39706

You deserved it

2992

Tweet

Share

By oliver - 27/1/2016 12:02 - United States

Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22402

You deserved it

2227

Tweet

Share

By whysheheartless - 3/11/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43741

You deserved it

3038

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 15/1/2016 17:47 - United States - Winona

Today, I got pulled off a hugely important project, all because I accidentally spelled "country" as "cuntry" in an email to our client. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16661

You deserved it

16059

Tweet

Share

By Idontdance - 23/8/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I was at a friend's party. All of the sudden, my friend goes, "Ok girls, get a guy to dance with." Then everyone scrambled to find someone. There was just enough guy-girl pairs. This hot girl and I were the only two left. She looked at me and said, "Umm, I have to use the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks

47983

You deserved it

4435

Tweet

Share

By jules - 10/3/2011 07:53 - United States

Today, an older man sat next to me while he ate his lunch. He dropped what I assumed was his cutlery. Wanting to help out, I picked it up off the floor. It was his teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29123

You deserved it

5008

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/8/2019 06:00

Air Conditioned Egg on Face?

Today, I went to see the mechanic who'd just serviced my car, because it was still leaking cooling fluid. I started to explain the problem, but he stopped me and asked if I'd had the AC on. I said yes. He smiled and said lots people have this "problem" in summer. Did you know the AC releases fluid when you turn it off? I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1111

You deserved it

700

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 21/7/2014 22:49 - United States - Dublin

Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43482

You deserved it

5862

Tweet

Share

By bearded lady - 8/6/2020 14:03

Can't face it

Today, thanks to all my medications, I've been growing thick, dark hair on my face. I decided to use hair removal cream instead of shaving. The cream removed every trace of hair, but also made my skin about 4 times lighter than the rest of my face. It's even more noticeable than the beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1364

You deserved it

203

Tweet

Share

By Pissed - 15/10/2012 19:57 - United States - Newton Center

Today, at a family reunion, we all squeezed in for a picture. I set the self-timer and ran to get in it. 2 seconds before the picture went off, some guy came up, stole the camera, and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29301

You deserved it

2484

Tweet

Share

By unknown - 7/4/2013 04:26 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49685

You deserved it

5306

Tweet

Share

By he is going to hell - 18/9/2012 21:46 - Australia - Forestville

Today, I found out my little brother is a highly committed Nazi. He goes to meetings and everything, my parents think it's great he is "getting out and developing a social life." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34273

You deserved it

2123

Tweet

Share

By ARGHHHH - 4/10/2018 05:00

Today, my mom ordered my birthday presents on eBay. Too bad she used my account, so when I went to look for ideas, everything she bought me popped up. It's so much stuff I don't want, need, or will ever use, and it's on my credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3322

You deserved it

323

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - 5/5/2015 06:42 - United States - Lakeland

Today, I decided it was time to start looking for my own place and finally gain my full independence. My mom agreed happily without hesitation, which was surprising, but not anywhere near as surprising as finding out I have one day to get my shit together and leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29345

You deserved it

3214

Tweet

Share

By - 27/1/2017 22:00

Today, I found out I'm pregnant with my soon-to-be ex-husband's baby from the moment we agreed to have sex one last time together. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6630

You deserved it

8984

Tweet

Share

By Worstjob - 3/3/2011 00:35 - United States

Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39225

You deserved it

4428

Tweet

Share

By Noname - 26/2/2009 15:30 - United States

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks

85861

You deserved it

474676

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/9/2009 21:31 - United States

Today, I was in my psychology class taking the hardest test ever. After I spent most of the period trying to fill in the few answers that I knew, I looked up to see everyone with their notebooks on their desks. It was an open-note test. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14035

You deserved it

58070

Tweet

Share

By soapgirl - 13/8/2009 16:07 - Philippines

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9395

You deserved it

64820

Tweet

Share

By Battlebarney - 22/9/2016 10:58 - United States - Washington

Today, I learned that the burning sensation I get on my balls isn't from when my girlfriend poured hot sauce on my balls as a prank, it's actually gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12373

You deserved it

1920

Tweet

Share

By fuckparents - 9/1/2012 23:01 - United States

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks

73380

You deserved it

3615

Tweet

Share

By Ouch - 14/7/2009 02:25 - United States

Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie. Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was cooking. I jumped and burned my boobs with boiling cooking oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53375

You deserved it

15437

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 28/5/2009 19:44 - United States

Today, I was looking at the skeleton of a human male that we have in out biology classroom. I picked up the hand to examine the bones in the finger, and had the sudden realization that this is the only time that I have held hands with a boy. I'm a junior in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59123

You deserved it

8630

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/7/2019 07:00 - Colombia - Bogot?

Any damage? Who nose?

Today, it's the seventh day after my nose job. I was taking something out of a box and pulled too hard. I punched myself in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1401

You deserved it

626

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/7/2009 13:49 - United States

Today, after not seeing my boyfriend for 9 months, he came to meet me at the airport. I was so excited when I first saw him that I broke into a sprint to greet him. Apparently, running through the airport looks suspicious, because a security guard tackled me. Now I have a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57225

You deserved it

7575

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 4/4/2020 20:00

That escalated quickly

Today, I chipped my front tooth trying to pick up my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1218

You deserved it

276

Tweet

Share

By soisblueballsdickhead - 26/10/2014 14:25 - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML

I agree, your life sucks

45856

You deserved it

9648

Tweet

Share

By Jamie - 4/4/2009 14:42 - United States

Today, I was at working at Burger King as a cashier. A girl I met last night came in and said, "Aren't you that guy from last night?" Last night, I had told her I was going to medical school and was going to be a doctor in less than a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16397

You deserved it

154058

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/12/2013 22:41 - United States - Lihue

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm beautiful. Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML

I agree, your life sucks

48658

You deserved it

7701

Tweet

Share

By silkysmooth - 31/10/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34747

You deserved it

5453

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/10/2019 16:00

Spider-man

Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

571

You deserved it

1195

Tweet

Share

By FML - 24/7/2014 15:59 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46310

You deserved it

24140

Tweet

Share

By heckaza - 19/1/2016 06:47 - Australia - Werribee

Today, I went to visit a suburb that was named after my family. Within five minutes of walking around I was mugged and then beat up. My family name has certainly done well for itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19543

You deserved it

1900

Tweet

Share

By Carl - 16/10/2011 12:47 - United States

Today, my landlord compared me to his idiot son for not plunging a toilet. This is the same toilet he explicitly told me not to plunge last week, because of a possible leak into the basement. We have been peeing outside for a week waiting on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29295

You deserved it

2557

Tweet

Share

By horribletimeeverywhere74747 - 11/4/2018 13:00 - United States - Navarre

Today, the girl who'd asked me to prom told me she assumed we weren't going together and is now going with her friends. After agreeing to go with her, I'd bought a $200 non-refundable suit along with the ticket. I have no one else to go with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4444

You deserved it

360

Tweet

Share

By blackcarnation - 22/12/2013 21:56 - United States - South Windsor

Today, my brother got a new saxophone. He thought a good way to break it in was to play it in my ear. Loudly. While I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39728

You deserved it

3734

Tweet

Share

By wtfman101 - 28/8/2009 14:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54906

You deserved it

2695

Tweet

Share

By Jennagirl - 12/10/2009 14:03 - Australia

Today, after spending the night at my boyfriend's house, I was heading out the door when he called me back to hand me something I had left at his house a while ago. It was one of my bras. It wasn't until I got home I noticed the cup size was a B. I'm a size D. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42320

You deserved it

3626

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 15/1/2011 07:09 - United States

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14693

You deserved it

53315

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By betseyville | 6

#789342 - Thursday 21 January 2010 23:09

I couldn't help but think of the Single Ladies' clown.

By FreakHead | 0

#790747 - Friday 22 January 2010 12:51

O come on guys you all say YDI for not closing the cabinet door, it happens to everyone

COMMENTS

By betseyville | 6

#789342 - Thursday 21 January 2010 23:09

I couldn't help but think of the Single Ladies' clown.

Reply

mulisha52 | 0

#789451 - Thursday 21 January 2010 23:55

your hot!!

Reply

kukitheaf | 0

#790392 - Friday 22 January 2010 7:37

she's hot. :D

By Mustardnight | 3

#789344 - Thursday 21 January 2010 23:10

Lol thats happened to me.

By aeslehc_ | 0

#789348 - Thursday 21 January 2010 23:10

YDI for not closing the cabinet. Common sense.

Reply

bloodmonk115 | 3

#789561 - Friday 22 January 2010 0:52

ya that comment was fake and gay

Reply

allmidnighteyes | 10

#789569 - Friday 22 January 2010 0:56

I don't know how a comment can be homosexual, but whatever works in your world.

Reply

lsantos | 0

#789933 - Friday 22 January 2010 3:22

I think Snickerdoodle is great, personally.

Reply

JohnLovesFMLs | 0

#790654 - Friday 22 January 2010 11:38

Go troll YouTube, sympathy is what this op needs.

By azurablade | 0

#789350 - Thursday 21 January 2010 23:11

thirdies!!!

By assvomit | 0

#789353 - Thursday 21 January 2010 23:11

what a load of shit.

By swimspy | 3

#789361 - Thursday 21 January 2010 23:15

hahaha I did tht yesterday but my head then flew back knocking into my brothers head!

By hypergal | 1

#789366 - Thursday 21 January 2010 23:17

omg I'm 6 anyway damn that sucks hardcore and I hate snickerdoodle she's annoying

Reply

chanellgymnast | 17

#5335932 - Wednesday 23 January 2013 7:53

You are adorableeeee:)

By silasandseansfml | 0

#789370 - Thursday 21 January 2010 23:17

now what have you learned next time u open the cabnet be sure to close just like when women bitch about the toilet seat being left up it's called taking one second and do it yourself

By Sheebz | 0

#789376 - Thursday 21 January 2010 23:21

i agree with #3, duh

By aeslehc_ | 0

#789379 - Thursday 21 January 2010 23:22

snickerdoodles, its not trolling, its common sense to close a cabinet after you open it. Especially if the cabinet is obviously going to get in the way if its left open and they already have a headache.