Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Bored
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Libido
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
Slacker
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML
Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Run for the hills
Today, and every time I don’t feel like having sex with my boyfriend, he audibly jerks off, and passively aggressively moans to try and guilt trip me into doing it. FML
Handjob
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
In the mood
Today, I came home early from work and caught my boyfriend jerking off. When I tried to flirt and say I could help him, he said he wasn't in the mood anymore. He hasn't touched me in months. FML
Gimme the D
Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML
Top comments
bryanbntz 0
Soooo, why are you with him?
Emd0406 4
Break his hand.
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Comments (307)
ZebulonPike 8
Has it occurred to anyone that maybe he just wasn't in the mood that night?
Krirn 21
I was actually picturing this in the morning.
CaptainPickles72 18
In the morning? Ah, the good old wake-n-shake!
bkina 0
I'm sorry but when someone is jacking off they are clearly in the mood!!!!! What I'd do is smack his had of and arame over with mine!!!!
PlaySpades 21
Sex takes energy. Maybe he was too tired for the whole process and wanted a quickie by himself?
sxdryv 14
U got it
MickGold 8
Be optimistic. Think something like, "He's probably self-conscious. I'm just too good for him," or something along those lines. It's his loss, not yours. :)
inlove72 11
Awe )= I feel bad for you. Are you ugly? Or something?
PlaySpades 21
You're extremely rude. And frankly, not that attractive yourself.
inlove72 11
#53. And I care because? It's the way I am. I find myself very attractive but you on the other hand... /=
chitown23 4
I think she is very attractive #53 u should look at a mirror before u call someone ugly
inlove72 11
#64 why thank you!
AngiLaLa1 2
I think you just thrive on being a **** and making rude comments. Does it make you feel better to be a bitch to people on the Internet??
parduezs 6
And 71 wins!
inlove72 11
#71 Sorry hun but that's the way I am in person also. I find it funny that you guys are jelly that I'm attractive and you aren't. Sorry guys you ain't bothering me. (=
AngiLaLa1 2
LOL at the fact that you think I'm jealous of a 16 year old with, what's probably, a fake picture. No little one I am not jealous of you because I am beautiful. I never said you were ugly so don't even try that with me. I said you're a ****... You can be a pretty ****. I have seen nothing but rude comments from you. If you are so pretty like you think you are then you shouldn't need to insult others to make yourself happy. And child, don't call me hun. :)
inlove72 11
I should care because...? And the picture isn't fake... Maybe I am a **** idk but what I know is I'm a bitch if I don't like you... You will know it. Oh I'm 16 big deal and yes you are jelly cuz have you looked at yourself. Your just a mess. I'm not a child have a nice life. (=
AngiLaLa1 2
Lol you must have self esteem issues. Hahahaha
AngiLaLa1 2
You are a child and you act like one. I am far from a mess and if you wanna try to insult me at least learn to spell. You're* the one who is obviously a mess... Messed up in the head. Go back to high school little one!
inlove72 11
Yes I'm totally messed in the head. Lol ok. I graduate this year. Yes I act like a child ok hun what ever floats your boat
immaMonsta 8
#88 First of all, you're* second of all being under 18 means you're not legal which makes you a child. Also, I agree with 89...you do seem to have self esteem issues. Just because OP's boyfriend prefers to get himself off single handedly doesn't mean that OP is ugly...looks don't have everything to do with sex. You've just proved that you're an immature child in your above comments. Grow up. But I guess that's what should be expected from a 16 year old CHILD.
AngiLaLa1 2
Wow you graduate this year but you don't even know proper grammar? That's sad.
inlove72 11
Lol big deal I'm 16. Who gives a ****? And yes I'm graduating. I'm 16 just cuz I'm not as mature as you guys doesn't me have to call me a child. And boo don't have self a steam issues
AngiLaLa1 2
Self a steam?! Wtf?!
AngiLaLa1 2
And boo if you have to insult others to make yourself feel better that points to one thing... Self ESTEEM issues...
immaMonsta 8
#101 "self a steam"? Alright, please learn how to spell things correctly. It's self esteem. And yes, that does make you a child. Once again you have proved that. You've got a lot to learn. Boy, I don't remember being as ignorant as you are when I was your age, but hey, it's all a learning process. Have a nice life (:
Davick 0
now that is not only demoralizing but rude. Here's an idea next time turn the TV onto the cooking channel with some gay guy as the host. That will mess with his head. moral is don't ingnor your girl
iloveweed69 7
Jump on his dick girl
bobchickenfart 5
cut off his hands. problem solved.
bobchickenfart 5
why is my comment moderated? i didn't see anything wrong with it. it just said "cut his hands off, problem solved." nothing inappropriate.
Sumo69 9
I got a girlfriend one time cause I was too lazy to jerk off turns out having a girlfriend takes way more energy and then jerking off
chaoscreator 0
Ouch I feel sorry for you
LadyGore 12
My boyfriend did that this morning. But I didn't want to have sex haha