Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Bored
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Libido
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
Slacker
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML
Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Run for the hills
Today, and every time I don’t feel like having sex with my boyfriend, he audibly jerks off, and passively aggressively moans to try and guilt trip me into doing it. FML
Handjob
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
In the mood
Today, I came home early from work and caught my boyfriend jerking off. When I tried to flirt and say I could help him, he said he wasn't in the mood anymore. He hasn't touched me in months. FML
Gimme the D
Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML
Top comments
bryanbntz 0
Soooo, why are you with him?
Emd0406 4
Break his hand.
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Comments (307)
AshleeWhiplash24 0
are you that bad in bed?
kimmi41509 10
Maybe it's time for a new boyfriend, a vibrator :)
SoSickWithIt 14
No.
kimmi41509 10
Yes.
BostonBruinsFan 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Vibrators are NEVER the answer, at all, so No
kimmi41509 10
How are they not when your boyfriend is jacking off instead of having sex with you? She needs something to substitute him or that wouldn't be fair now would it?
SoSickWithIt 14
:P I don't have anything to say, I'm just replying so you don't think you've won. Aha!
kimmi41509 10
I have won!
Characterise 0
I agree I think she should but I think a tickler is better and she can ask to use it in sex that's what me n my ex tried and it was the best I never had orgasms like it without it lol n he thought to it was good against his dick aswell it's better only in doggy style, so I think this is what they need so hell want it more
Characterise 0
I agree I think she should but I think a tickler is better and she can ask to use it in sex that's what me and my ex tried and it was the best I never have orgasms like it without it lol and he said its good against his dick aswell but it's only better in doggy style, I think that's what they need so hell want it more
Characterise 0
omg why won't my comments come up :/
CaptainPickles72 18
Umm... thanks for the story? But are you you typed this on the right website? It seriously sounds like you were reviewing a product for a sex toy website.
kimmi41509 10
If he's not having sex with her and only masturbating then your story is irrelevant here
jweezy89 4
Why does she get toys to replicate him? I think to be fair they each should only use hands or they both get toys.
philipino 24
I'm now scarred for life at that story. But scars heal. Wait, shit, no that's wounds. I'll just get some ******* make-up.
nowais 0
Ugh what a retard
c_tuck 0
May not be OP... I don't think i would stay with them if they weren't interested in me sexually. Regardless of what people say, sex has a big impact on the relationship between two people.
AmongstTheFaces 5
Two people. What about three?
CaptainPickles72 18
Two's a relationship Three's company Four's a crowd and five's a party!!
twisted_cherub 14
19- I agree. Sex isn't the most important thing, but without intimacy, you're just good friends.
Mr25_fml 14
Doing "it" wrong. You're doing it right
Oh_Hayy_Its_Lex 10
It could be worse, I was once cutting some guys hair while he was jerking off underneath the cover.
katielil 1
Omg that happened at my school! I'm in school for cosmetology and some old guy did that.
hubla 0
Did you cut it off haha
kimmi41509 10
Ew. If that ever happened to me in school or in the salon id be scarred for life!
spinny114 0
lmao wow dats must have been fun
BIEBERSLAYER 10
Did you finish before he did?
shadowgirl73 0
That's just... Wow Id embarrass the **** outta him if that happened.
Oh_Hayy_Its_Lex 10
Yeah, it was awkward... my friends and I call him the "mad whacker"... suitable, don't you think?
spinny114 0
yeah thats very suitable lol
Goatinsfriend 8
Practice more with yourself, see how he likes it.
Dirty_Minded_FML 2
Chop his privates off
MickGold 8
How about his fingers instead?:)
heyyy464 1
That's a bit harsh.
Honestly_Lainey 21
Yeah, that's a little too extreme. If you wanna teach him a lesson, all you gotta do is tape his junk to his leg with duct tape while he's sleeping... Or ya know, do the normal thing and leave his privates alone if he doesn't want you to touch them. Whatever works (;
read54 3
OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Krirn 21
Maybe he thought you were asleep and didn't want to wake you up. And in the case that he knew you were up, why didn't you offer him a hand?
Pelreskovich 11
And he's your boyfriend why? I'd love to hear the excuse for that.
jonriise18 3
They're
downtime 13
Because one single instance of an issue doesn't negate all the other positive qualities and times they've spent together? I don't really know what you're so dumbfounded about, nor what you think will be so amazing about the "excuse".
cinderella10383 6
And don't forget definitely!!