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Agreed, 65. To me, it seems like an unnecessary financial sinkhole that could only be validated if there were or were going to be kids involved, or if one person had really good health insurance. If I had OP's boyfriend, I'd encourage him to sell the ring to help pay the bills.
I agree with selling the ring. Diamonds are expensive as fuck. I would hope that said boyfriend would take Op out for a nice dinner with some of the money, or do something fun for them both. But Op thinking that he owes her a ring and marriage just because of a prize... If I were Op's boyfriend, I would sit down and have a long talk about marriage and where I am on the path towards getting engaged. I would not want to marry someone who won a ring and then decided, because hey I got this for free, that we needed to be married. I don't really ever want to get married, but if I did, I wouldn't want an expensive ring, I would just want him to have put some thought into it.
133, I wasn't talking about the wedding, I was talking about the marriage. Sure, there are tax benefits to marriage, but it's a lot tougher budgeting for two people than it is for one, and then there's even less to spare once you throw kids into the mix. But I was really thinking about the costs of getting lawyers involved with the prenup and, later, divorce. It might only be 40% of marriages that end in divorce, but that's not a trifling number, so it's better to prepare for it. Of course lawyers know this and charge accordingly.
Marriage is expensive. My sister married a guy, he had debt up to his eyeballs. She had no debt. Her credit went down the hole, she worked longer hours to pay for his school loans, and she stretched her income to pay for his hobbies and needs. She didn't get to go out and do as she liked anymore, she changed as a person. They divorced and she had to help pay for him still, for a few years after. I, on the other hand, did not get married and live in my own place, have a boyfriend, but do not have to pay for his hobbies, living expenses, etc. He has suggested moving in together, but I am not ready for that and doubt I ever will be. It is all about doing what makes you happy. Getting married because you win a ring or because you have kids does not a happy life make. The boyfriend should not propose just because he won a ring. But he should not assume Op would not expect something when he did get the ring. It's like entering to win a romantic trip for two and then selling it. The girlfriend/boyfriend would expect you to take them on it unless you explained why you were selling it. So, my advice to Op would be to have the talk about your future. Explain you thought he was going to give the ring to you and that you want to eventually marry him. Give him some time to think about what he wants and whether or not he can see you two getting married. If he says he needs to wait a few years, you need to decide if you can wait or if you need to move forward with your life. He might have plans to buy you a different ring or use one that has been in the family. He might have no intention of marrying you and think you are okay with the way things are. It does not make him a jerk or asshole for not wanting to marry you. A lot of people these days prefer more open casual relationships. Either way, don't assume the worst until you talk to him.
id be almost offended if i was given a ring just because it was won! 1st thought would be, No thought went into this at all! 2nd thought, Im offended you think I need a ring so expensive it needs to be won! Id be happy with a cheezel to propse with if it was sentimental enough! Luckily my husband did it right and gave me a ring passed down for 3 generations in his family, its small simple and surprisingly worth not much these days but he knew id love the meaning behind it.
137, if the only reason you can see for getting married is tax benefits, you have obviously never been in love. Sure, money can be tight at times, but when you're in love money isn't a priority. (It shouldn't ever be but still.) I do agree with most comments that she shouldn't expect a proposal just because he won a ring. But I just had to throw in my two cents on your comments.
154--I absolutely think divorce is worth it! I just wish people would stop to consider whether or not the marriage leading up to it is. 201--I was in love. Thankfully, once I came to my senses and got my rational mind back, I realized what a loser I had fallen in love with and ended the relationship. I don't see why love necessarily has to be celebrated with marriage these days anyway. Since it's perfectly valid for two people to live and love together, there had better be good tax breaks and/or insurance benefits involved to take that big a risk.
He is not obligated to propose just because he won a ring. Sorry
Yeah, I know, but it's sort of disappointing. I don't think that OP feels the world owes her something, but almost every girl I know (not saying everyone, just the girls I personally know) wishes for marriage. Now isn't the right time, but don't rule it out in the future. Maybe he is saving up for a better ring and is planning to propose to you on HIS time :)
This FML made me sick. I clicked YDI because its selfish. Just because you want it doesn't mean he does. I cant stand people like that. What's the big deal about owning a ring, spending all of your money on 1 stupid day, and signing a peice of paper? Oh that's right..to show off. Stupid. I am not against marriage , I just find it ridiculous how people overdo everything. I would totally win it to sell it...
Just because he gets a ring doesn't me he should propose to you..... Wtf is wrong with your logic