By hairynips - 10/10/2012 19:07 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend and tell him that the red bumps around my nipples was heat rash, rather than admit it was actually razor burn. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 237
You deserved it 9 585

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And instead of telling your boyfriend, you told the entire Internet!

That's the biggest myth ever. You only have so many follicles on your body. Sure, it may appear thick at first, but that's because the ends of the hairs are blunted. As the hair grows, it will split and damage which in turn will thin it out. As for darkness, shaving won't change melanin... Darkness is genetic.


Really? You thought ouch? I thought it sounded pretty comfortable

MarisaCB 16

Eh I've never gotten it, so I dunno about the comfort problem, but maybe you should have stopped him from seeing your nips until they were back to normal.

g_ayvel 11

By then she'd have to shave again

you could try waxing. you're not helping the hair problem by shaving

Rosie_Posie43 12

In case no one read the warnings on Nair, it actually says not to use it near the nipple area.

Why don't you just bleach it? Unless it's very thick, then use some kind of a cream. Shaving makes it worse and rough.

iOceanus 18

OP should have told him so he could have licked it better.

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That's the biggest myth ever. You only have so many follicles on your body. Sure, it may appear thick at first, but that's because the ends of the hairs are blunted. As the hair grows, it will split and damage which in turn will thin it out. As for darkness, shaving won't change melanin... Darkness is genetic.

I've seen enough arguments for this topic on FML, I really wouldn't like to see another one. Let's just all agree not to shave our nipple hair.

You better hide under a desk, because hockeyboy is droppin' knowledge bombs in here.

And it only lasts for like a day then gets stubbly which is even nastier

I shave my nipple hair and never have these problems. It could possibly have to do with the way your skin is taken care of.

Im sorry for you OP...but you shouldn't lie

Yah,don't lie. Tell the truth,you are retarded.

Yah,don't lie. Tell the truth,you are retarded.

It's totally okay to lie about that kind of stuff!

unknown_user5566 26

46- Not if your goal is to have a mature, open relationship. Sure, it's embarassing, but sharing intimate details (when asked!) is always better than lying.

fromthesuck 8

No keep that one to yourself! There are certain things guys don't need to or want to know.

I don't think that this is the sort of lie that would make or break a relationship. Personally I wouldn't share, and if he DID find out I'm sure he'd understand why I made that choice. Healthy relationships don't mean that you share literally every intimate detail about yourself. Unless you're into that I guess...

september1395 7

If I were her boyfriend I wouldn't want to end up with nipple hair in my mouth...just sayin'

Not telling (serious) significant others intimate things creates an illusion of the perfect girl who doesn't need to shave a thing and comes out completely hairless. And what happens if he so happens to walk in when you're grooming yourself? It's better to be honest

108, I love how at the end there you made sharing sound like some weird fetish

kelseygoesrawr 8

OP should have just told him. A lot of girls get a few hairs around their nipples. It's totally normal; nothing at all to be ashamed of.

And instead of telling your boyfriend, you told the entire Internet!

Yes. Isn't that a greater idea? Next thing you know, the FBI starts putting their classified information on the internet because they were to afraid to say it in person..

Putting classified material on the internet defeats the entire purpose of "classified", no? Kind of kills the anonymity...

67 that cracked me up! thats my fav movie! I have no idea why yoy were thumbed down... 100 thumbs up from me! ;D

But, to this overall comment: What you said made sense at first, but the fact that no one has any idea about the identity of the person who posted this, totally negates your whole comment. So, you're dumb. :P

99- That's a little bit rude ma'am, in order to make a comment you don't need to know everything about the person...

Well, she is anonymous to us, but not to her boyfriend. I'm guessing he doesn't read fml.

Sounds very painful... Try plucking the hairs instead.

Llama_Face89 33

Because that sounds much less painful.

Plucking the hair will hurt more initially, but it will last longer and will not leave a razor burn. The pain from plucking doesn't even compare to the pain of a razor burn.

I have never thought of razor burn as painful, but maybe I've just been lucky :P I could shave my whole body with an X-acto knife and not feel a thing, but I like my hairiness..

I found that it doesn't hurt after a couple of times, definitely would advise plucking, it doesn't instantly grow back and hurts for two seconds max ;)

Ew no!!! Only pluck your eye brows. Places the the nipple? Wouldn't it be too sensitive ?

I would just leave the hair... It's not like nipple hair is that thick and/or visible that you would need to get rid of it. But I suppose if OP is self conscious about it, than yeah, she should try plucking.

It depends, I have pcos and mines dark, I get hair all over it's horrible. And if she's shaved it and it's come back darker. Once you start shaving somewhere you can't really stop, from my experiences anyway.

I have pcos too. I read a book about the condition which lists the many ways it manifests itself, two being body hair growth and scalp hair loss. I really love my body. So happy I got lucky enough to end up with this.

Don't be ashamed of your body op. You are beautiful :).

Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder. :)

7- in every single way! Yes, words can't bring you down!

perdix 29

#7, hairy nipples are an automatic disqualifier.

47- are you feeling a little down today?? You, too, are beautiful to me. :)

Well that's depressing nordrag. Everyone has their own merit in their own way (i refuse to sound like a hallmark card)... Even that funny-faced guy, whats his name? Ah that's right, Posthuman; he must have *some* redeeming qualities!(just screwing with ya posty :)

I disagree. I enjoy the look on my girls face when I find, and Pluck a hair off her nipple...

Nordag, I'm no different than you. But my reasoning for telling people they are beautiful no matter what they think is because it boosts their self esteem a little and gives them a little bit of joy in their lives. Trust me I'm not perfect and there are times where I do say to myself how unattractive a person is.

Had to lie? No, you CHOSE to lie. Nobody forced you to lie, not even your Sasquatch boobs.

Yourheadache 19

Hairy Nipples= Sasquatch Boobs Your cleverness has yet to fail me :)

33- He's made plenty of comments that were three times as rude, and yet none of them have failed to be funny, including this one.

Funniness is subjective; his comment was rude.

Many comedians have made a career of being rude and funny. Was Richard Pryor always polite? Eddie Murphy? George Carlin? Rudeness and humour are NOT mutually exclusive. If you don't like my particular brand of humour, that's your choice. It's also your loss.

Funniness can only be appreciated by those is possession of a sense of humour. For those lacking one let me clear up the confusion... "Sasquatch boobs" is hilarious.

Betcha the chick who took offence to Doc's comment also has hairy ****.

I like you, Doc, but you're no Richard Pryor. Anyway, I didn't think it was that rude. OP clearly already knows hairy breasts are unattractive, or else she wouldn't shave them.

Gracehi - I had a feeling someone would think I was comparing myself to those comedy greats, which I clearly was NOT. I'm a little disappointed that someone is you. I would never in a million years put myself anywhere close to those guys. All I was doing was pointing out some great comedians who made their careers out of being rude and funny.

Hairy nipples on a female isn't exactly "common." It's already humiliating. Making comments like that just makes it even more upsetting and humiliating to those who have to deal with it. That's why it's not funny. No one likes to feel abnormal.

I ain't messin with them *******! I wonder if they"smell like Big foots dick."

When you post it on the Internet it is entirely fair game. What Doc said is probably what at least 50% of us guys thought.

Glittercookies - You're majoring in psychology, so you know better than most how important it is to laugh at your own shortcomings. When you do that, you completely take away anyone else's ability to belittle you. If you find humour in things like this, the embarrassment simply vanishes.

I'm glad you think well enough of me to be disappointed in me. :P Although I think we agree on this matter otherwise. I was severely thumbed down by also using the term "sasquatch" to describe a female OP who apparently didn't feel the need to remove her lip hair. I too have taken issue with insensitive and out of line comments that were meant to be "funny," but I don't think body hair is one of those things that falls into the category of things not to be joked about. It's not like you were making fun of her peg leg or dead parent. People shouldn't be so overly sensitive, or else they'll find themselves constantly offended. Sure, your comment was a little mean but OP opened herself up to such criticism when she posted this FML.

Just because you can laugh at your own shortcomings, doesn't mean your feelings won't get hurt from comments like that. That was a put down. As a girl who has to deal with this condition, it's not easy to hear that. Why is it funny to make fun of other people's shortcomings? Or body "abnormalities?"

Personally, I don't know why it is. But that doesn't change the fact that it is.

Hair is not something to be sensitive about. I have body hair; a moderate amount because of genetics. Am I going to cry about it? No; I actually joke about it with my boyfriend. I call myself a wookie sometimes. Focusing and crying about your flaws will not make you happier.

Glittercookies, everyone has some physical flaw they're self conscious about. You should count yourself lucky that yours is something that can easily be remedied. Not everyone is so fortunate. If you have hairy nipples, wax or shave them and get on with your day. There's no need to get all sensitive about it.

Yourheadache 19

I didn't say it wasn't funny, I just said it was rude.

Then she shouldn't have posted it If she didn't want comments.

111 - laughing at your own shortcomings is different than making fun of someone else's. Or did you mean to say you were making fun of your own hairy nipples? O.o

SeepingSarcasm 7

#125- Yes, if you laugh at your own shortcomings, it does mean that your feelings won't be hurt when hearing ''rude'' comments from others. I'm a 130kg, hairy guy with a hunchback. Either I can carry around a rope and a tree to hang myself in if someone is ''mean to me'', or I can admit to the fact that I might have a vague resemblance to a mammoth, combine the collective ''insults'' I've gotten, and come up with the best jokes first!

Wow doc. If this keeps up you will be rich,2 cents at a time. I try to remember that many of the people on here are teens,and that nowadays some people are not very swift. The ones that cry you are mean have probably tried shaving there nipples. Lol

Isoldael - You misunderstand me. I was saying that Glittercookies should learn to laugh at herself so she isn't offended by jokes like these that obviously hit too close to home.

All of this debate over Doc's comment being rude and possibly offending the OP seems a bit silly considering OP's username. Hairynips? She already knows she's got Sasquatch boobs.

GlitterCookies... And you are suppose to help people with your knowledge? HaHaHa

SupaHotFire 4

Sounds like blink 182. "you shave your ass!"