Miscellaneous: Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers...

By Anonymous - 17/01/2012 13:20 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers and rapists, had an emotional breakdown because he was so excited that I'd cooked french fries for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 974

You deserved it 27 929

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Same thing different taste

By burned - 24/05/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 108

You deserved it 64 107

Run, run away pronto

By Anonymous - 22/01/2021 08:01

Today, my fiancé yelled at me after I got off the phone with my friends, because I said I hadn't felt this happy and hadn't laughed this much in a long time. He was also mad that I didn't cook him dinner. He didn't ask me to cook dinner for him. He then told me to go somewhere else if I'm not happy with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 188

By AprilFlowers - 01/12/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 181

You deserved it 7 380

The apple of my eye

By anonymous - 17/07/2020 08:00

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 353

You deserved it 315

By Suicidal - 20/12/2009 22:40 - Australia

Today, I had a mental breakdown after going through severe depression for several years. I told my boyfriend that everybody thinks I'm useless, to which he replied, "No you're not. You cook me good dinners." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 080

You deserved it 7 703

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 22:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a dutch oven, with my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 892

You deserved it 40 141

By that's methed up, darling - 16/08/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 863

You deserved it 6 075

Sick burn

By Anonymous - 16/05/2010 08:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 997

You deserved it 8 071

By Anonymous - 19/03/2012 00:49 - United States - Dansville

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 967

You deserved it 4 101

Will you…

By why - 17/08/2013 14:18 - United States - Lexington

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 541

You deserved it 7 389

Pelreskovich 11

Tuesday 17 January 2012 18:43

That's a good thing isn't it? He was happy you made him something he enjoys. Food always gets to us men.

perdix 29

Tuesday 17 January 2012 18:45

He's protecting you from murderers, yet you are trying to kill him from the inside. Ingrate!

Comments

shooz89 3

Tuesday 17 January 2012 19:11

Maybe he just had a bad day?

shooz89 3

Tuesday 17 January 2012 19:13

Maybe he just had a bad day?

ExToRtiOn 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 19:16

What a faget

tactical_bacon 4

Tuesday 17 January 2012 19:18

if he was so overjoyed he was moved to tears, you obviously dont cook enough french fries.

maackenzie 9

Tuesday 17 January 2012 19:20

Why are you expecting him to protect you from murderers and rapists? I highly doubt he's super man, men can be murdered and raped too. Don't expect so much.

Callyn 47

Tuesday 17 January 2012 19:22

I agree, his job is to be your friend, confidant and partner, not your personal bodyguard. If you want a bodyguard, they generally want to be paid.

ClaremoreZebra 8

Tuesday 17 January 2012 19:49

Maybe she pays him in French Fries?

TunechiXXL 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 19:55

And sex!

Yourheadache 19

Tuesday 17 January 2012 20:57

And gum.... No?? Aaawwee im sorry then.

sorrowevicteon 9

Wednesday 18 January 2012 0:11

I'm supposed to be my girl's bodyguard, but pay's been sparse lately... Time to faint at the sight of french fries...

datoismyname 22

Tuesday 17 January 2012 19:22

What do French fries have anything to do with murderers and rapists? It's not like you made them while you were getting mugged.

fyl9907 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 1:08

I gave this a thumbs up simply because of your picture. Haha

datoismyname 22

Wednesday 18 January 2012 4:30

Haha thank you :)

1JDub 6

Tuesday 17 January 2012 19:23

*note to self....dont go into any dark alleys with my bf....FML

Mekeritrig 15

Tuesday 17 January 2012 19:24

"boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers and rapists" No, see what you want is a bodyguard.

dustyroaty 7

Tuesday 17 January 2012 19:27

I don't remember being a body guard being In the description when I signed up

LennyComa 39

Tuesday 17 January 2012 19:25

Are you expecting to be murdered and raped...the opening line of this FML seems pointless...have you hired your boyfriend to protect you...that line bugs me for some reason.