Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset,...

By thissucks - 01/03/2009 19:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, stilettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. I'm grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 791

You deserved it 174 833

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Same thing different taste

By Meggie - 05/11/2009 05:06 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my dad and his new "girlfriend". A couple days ago I realized that my sexy clothes that my boyfriend had bought me for our anniversary was missing. Guess who was wearing it? FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 225

You deserved it 2 201

By Anonymous - 05/08/2011 22:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 753

You deserved it 3 885

Egg mode activated

By Anonymous - 03/11/2022 18:00

Today, my girlfriend insisted on dressing me up in her clothes, to spice things up. After dolling me up in a dress, heels, wig, etc., she goes to the store for wine but left her key behind. Thirty minutes later, the doorbell goes, so I open it in all my feminine glory, only to see a UPS guy standing holding a parcel and not my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 817

By Yoooooo0 - 29/11/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 073

You deserved it 3 724

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 048

You deserved it 45 875

Didn't see you there

By eatmyshipoopie - 18/12/2009 15:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 666

You deserved it 10 159

Thanks guys

By Anonymous - 22/07/2009 18:41 - United States

Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings, and heels. When I walked out the door, my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriend's house I told him what my dad had said and he replied, "I'd have to agree with him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 704

You deserved it 62 347

By mothtal - 03/06/2012 16:13 - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 564

You deserved it 2 267

By Anonymous - 15/04/2016 19:46 - United States - Bronx

Today, I got locked in my boyfriend's garage in my underwear while his parents ripped him a new one for having sex beneath their roof. His sister had to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 560

You deserved it 5 053

Oh, hello

By kikuhime - 17/01/2021 02:01

Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 138

You deserved it 114

vandaleyes 0

Monday 2 March 2009 0:12

Rule of thumb: If you're young enough to be grounded by your parents, you're probably extremely young to be wearing that. You deserved that one.

Bauer_fml 0

Monday 2 March 2009 0:09

"Um... I need to do this for a class."

Comments

milkman17 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 23:32

to number 3 he forgot his keys

Stakeout 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 23:34

damn!

lewalrus 4

Sunday 1 March 2009 23:42

OOOOO I LAUGHED SO DAMN HARD :)

weetfur 0

Monday 21 March 2011 4:25

e mail?

VonBlitzkrieg 27

Wednesday 19 June 2013 8:04

Email? What the ****???

suckerz 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 23:45

how old are you to dress up like that and still be young enough to be grounded???

Amkii 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 23:48

Guys, if he forgot his keys, how did he lock himself out, unless the daughter locked the door behind him? #s 9 and 2 - I agree!

blankaex 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 16:06

you lock yourself out by locking the door while its open, going outside and pulling it shut

RockThatStuff 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 23:59

#11, I lock myself out of my house all the time.

Bauer_fml 0

Monday 2 March 2009 0:09

"Um... I need to do this for a class."

Scarlettkiss 8

Wednesday 22 February 2012 21:57

Hmm...just wondering but what kind of class is that?

Zfontaine04 8

Sunday 20 May 2012 22:06

^ hardcore sex-ed

Dr_Awesome654 24

Sunday 17 July 2016 9:37

"It's a group project."

vandaleyes 0

Monday 2 March 2009 0:12

Rule of thumb: If you're young enough to be grounded by your parents, you're probably extremely young to be wearing that. You deserved that one.

commonsensex 0

Thursday 23 July 2009 21:32

Agreed.

Eggers 2

Wednesday 20 April 2011 6:31

agreed. now bend over so we can finish your punishment

bianchieiei 13

Friday 8 June 2012 14:18

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

evilplatypus 38

Monday 24 December 2012 20:21

275 - If you're too young to use proper English (or even pretend to TRY), you're too young to wear that.

sulitak 27

Saturday 30 March 2013 12:08

#275: the internet. if you have a card, you can buy it #14: agreed. that shit doesn't belong in your parents house. unless its your parents shit.

RebbeAsh 10

Wednesday 5 October 2016 1:50

if your over the age of 16 in most states its perfectly legal. however you'd most likely live with your parents still and therefore could be grounded

EIDS 0

Monday 2 March 2009 0:13

Silly *****.

uminuscooll 0

Monday 2 March 2009 0:16

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous Cats DIY Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Frustration Capitalism Am I overreacting? Relatable Coworkers Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Technology Mental health Health Anxiety Sleep Clumsy Noise Roommate AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, out of the kindness of my heart, and so he wouldn't have to spend any money, I gave my ex-boyfriend my login information to my Vudu account. Big mistake. He logged me out of all devices, changed the password, and won't give me the new login information until I give him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 696

Today, my girlfriend, for our first time having sex, wanted to do stepbrother roleplay. Not only is that odd for our first time, it’s a weird fetish to have, especially when she actually does have a stepbrother. We ended up not finishing having sex, it was too weird for me FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 956

You deserved it 279

The Top

Today, I finally found out my suspicions about my 12 year-old daughter were correct, and I don’t know which one is worse: She's had a boyfriend and has denied it for the last 3 months, or the fact that my partner thought it was a good idea to let it go on for this long without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 680

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 578

You deserved it 5 036

Today, at 2 in the morning, my water broke. I called my mom and woke her up to come watch our older kid, while my husband and I went to the hospital. After being tested at the hospital, I was told I had just peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 026

You deserved it 8 994

Today, I auditioned for a part and made it because the director thought I would be "perfect" for the part and I was "just like the character in every way." The part is for a schizophrenic drug addict who everyone hates and is stabbed to death in the second scene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 295

You deserved it 4 468

Today, I realized that the only times I get to hang out with my friends outside of school are when one of them accidentally mentions plans in front of me and they are obligated by social protocol to invite me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 698

You deserved it 3 241

Today, my boss told me that as funny as it is, it is inappropriate to mock customers with my "fake" Scottish accent. I don't, he refuses to believe that I speak with a Scottish accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 343

You deserved it 2 430