Miscellaneous: Today, I got my braces on. When we got in the car my dad looked...

By jajaja - Canada

Today, I got my braces on. When we got in the car my dad looked over and said "well at least we dont have to worry about boys for the next two years." FML

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Miscellaneous

Taking stock

A boy can dream

Nags

By blackedout - Singapore

Today, I fainted on the sidewalk. When I woke up, I was still lying on the sidewalk, people were stepping over me and my purse was gone. FML

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By papersofdivorce - Peru - Lima

Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that my wife has been searching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML

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By Phoellie - United Kingdom

Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs, I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex and afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd had great sex also. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Des Moines

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college fund to pay for my cat to be flown to LA and audition for a movie. FML

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By iamsolid - United States

Today, my sister-in-law was diagnosed with breast cancer. My mother then confided in me that she suspected it was a prank to get more money from our family. FML

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By dripdripdrop - United States

Working conditions

Today, it's raining at my work. Not outside, inside. Because our building's boiler broke and all the pipes are dripping with condensation. I have to sit at my desk under an umbrella to protect my laptop and desk phone. The HVAC company said, "Don't worry, this is normal." FML

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By wearingshorts - United States

Today, I decided to wear string panties. While in line at the mall, they became untied. I was wearing a skirt. FML

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By talwin - Reserved

Today, I discovered that the more money I earn, the more my personal belongings break down on me. FML

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By NoMagicMike - United States - La Crescent

He's fine

Today, I was assigned to work on a huge project with Michael. Michael refers to himself in the third person, constantly mumbles unintelligibly to himself, doesn't smile, laugh or make eye contact, and refuses to address me directly. I'll be stuck with him for about four months. FML

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By cramps - Australia

Today, I got my period. 10 minutes into a 3 hour exam. Apparently they are serious when they say you may not leave the room under any circumstances. FML

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By Watchingmyfigure - United States - Gainesville

Today, I was so hungry and broke that I resorted to drinking salad dressing. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he gets a call from his best friend whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzips his pants and mouths, "She won't know." FML

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By Anonymous - 13/1/2021 08:01 - Canada - Toronto

Girls will be girls

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML

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By faul - 26/9/2020 05:02 - United States

Hey Jude, don't make it bad

Today, a lady told me I looked like Paul McCartney in his youth. With that little confidence boost, I told my girlfriend. I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that she didn't know who Paul McCartney is, or how she is now obsessively Googling pictures of him and is practically drooling. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Norwalk

Today, I felt so lonely that I asked Siri to read me Wikipedia articles so that I could pretend I was having a conversation with a real human being. FML

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By makiju - France - M?zi?res-sur-seine

Today, I was severely chewed out by my boss because, according to him, I look down on him too often. I'm 6ft5. FML

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By jonboy - United Kingdom

Today, I got a new comfy duvet and pillow and was looking forward to a good night's sleep. I got into bed and was followed by my dog, who then threw up the tub of butter he had just stolen from the kitchen onto my brand new bed spread. FML

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By failure - Korea, Republic of - Seoul

Today, my boss brought her cat to work. At one point, I looked up and everyone was staring at me staring at the cat's asshole. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Crystal Lake

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

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By anonymous - United States - Morristown

Today, I discovered that in the three days I left my 18-year-old son in charge, my dog had gotten pregnant. When I confronted my son about it, he stated, "I don't want the reputation of being a cock-blocker." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Elkhart

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

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By dcsunshine - United States

Today, I was excited to hear that I received three of my grad school recommendations in the mail from a very busy professor. They need to be submitted sealed, and of course, my nosy mom decided to open them. FML

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By NoSleep - United States

Today, I had my first day off in weeks. I was excited about getting to sleep in, until my boss called me at 6:30 in the morning to remind me I didn't have to come into work. Thanks. FML

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By lonely - United States

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses were at my door. Normally I don't give them the time of day, but I was so lonely for company, I let them in. FML

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By T1A2Z3

Today, right before sex, with his dick out and the condom in one hand, the guy I was with answered a phone call from his mum. FML

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By Sad Nerd - United States - Glendale

Today, I discovered that the laser disc player I used to have was not in fact a laser disc player but a Pioneer Laseractive. Broken ones sell on eBay for $200 and working ones sell for around $1000. I sold a working one for less than $100-worth of credit at a second-hand store. FML

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By Loser

Today, at school, I offered my friend $5 to climb up a tree and jumped off. I was already having a hard day and just wanted a bit of a laugh. What I didn't expect was to end up in the hospital with a broken arm because my friend jumped on me. FML

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By fuck me - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow for Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush for cheap stuff. FML

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By Angry - United States

Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML

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By Roommate - United States - Olympia

Today, my new roommate sent me a picture of our toothbrushes bristles touching with the caption "Look! I made them kiss!" FML

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By MILF - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I was playing card games with some colleagues a won a hand. One mate said jokingly "your mother never loved you!", I replied jokingly "at least your mother loved me"... All of a sudden he punched in the face and said, "don't ever disrespect my mother again". FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

OCD

Today, I decided to dress up sexy for my boyfriend. I put on cute undies and a corset because they made the most of my assets. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "The colours don't match." FML

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By DuckMan

Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Cottonwood

Today, I started my first day of work at our local humane society. I asked where the break room was, so my coworker directed me to a small room in the back of the building. The only place I get to take my lunch break is the same room where they euthanize, freeze and cremate the animals. FML

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By melons - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML

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By tye61 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I finished a 2 hour Skype call with my girlfriend, only to realize I was using mobile data. FML

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By Lucachoo

Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his muscles as my anniversary gift. FML

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By onehundredpercenteffed - United States

Today, my wife thought it would be fun to bring in one of her girlfriends for a threesome. Because of the friend, I now know what my wife sounds like when she's having a REAL orgasm. Five years and two kids into our marriage. FML

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By jsyn - United States - East Hampton

Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

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Top comments

By jessssxo | 0

#10360 - Sunday 1 March 2009 23:44

haha, he's so wrong.

By vonstrangle | 0

#10409 - Monday 2 March 2009 0:35

he must not know it's a turn on when girls coordinate their brace elastics with the nearest holiday. haha yyeah. sorry about those little metal guys, you'll be a babe when they come off i'm sure.

COMMENTS

By jessssxo | 0

#10360 - Sunday 1 March 2009 23:44

haha, he's so wrong.

crazycornn | 0

#871399 - Friday 19 February 2010 6:06

yeah braces are supa sexy!

GiRl951 | 0

#974999 - Tuesday 6 April 2010 5:26

smack him

Black_Moon_Fang | 0

#1117486 - Wednesday 21 July 2010 4:06

haahah yea!!!! makes girls look cute :)

DisappearingRose | 18

#1287841 - Monday 23 August 2010 4:07

Yeah, he's definatly wrong! I look great in braces and my ex boyfriend and boyfriend thinks I look better. So far my life has been great since I've gotten used to them, but idk how I'm supposed to French kiss ;)

sillybabee | 3

#1375758 - Thursday 9 September 2010 9:29

um it's impossible for braces to get stuck while making out and crap...I used to have them, I asked my orthodontist((:

iiNfAMoUs_KiiD | 3

#2408968 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 11:08

what !? haha I think girls with braces are cute, well thats if you have a cute face tho lol

multiplecoloredc | 0

#2520907 - Tuesday 17 May 2011 1:22

Uhmm, he is badly mistaken. My boyfriend has braces and he is so adorable, and French kissing isn't a problem. I would prefer him with braces than without.

baden18830 | 5

#3245999 - Tuesday 6 September 2011 11:45

yeah they're def cute, long as you're pretty to begin with, they won't make anything worse

By Sleepwalker_fml | 3

#10363 - Sunday 1 March 2009 23:45

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

ambrz | 0

#840546 - Wednesday 10 February 2010 8:53

whoa ur eyebrow is intense lmfaooo

amerrah | 4

#877625 - Sunday 21 February 2010 4:28

Haha VERY

By Amkii | 0

#10373 - Sunday 1 March 2009 23:52

lol What a jerk. Sorry about the braces, though.

By i_am_tiff_21 | 0

#10379 - Monday 2 March 2009 0:00

He is definately wrong. Boys don't care if a girl wears braces.

By julesies | 0

#10381 - Monday 2 March 2009 0:03

nah, don't worry. boys don't really care, unless the boy has braces too. THEN you have a problem...

By katiebug | 0

#10382 - Monday 2 March 2009 0:05

Haha that was pretty awful of your dad, but from my experiences, guys don't really care about braces.

By dammn | 0

#10383 - Monday 2 March 2009 0:07

lmao that was so mean !

By Grawrgh | 0

#10389 - Monday 2 March 2009 0:16

Are you kidding me? I'm a sucker for a girl with braces.

dannnn_fml | 0

#980018 - Thursday 15 April 2010 6:42

haha

By vonstrangle | 0

#10409 - Monday 2 March 2009 0:35

he must not know it's a turn on when girls coordinate their brace elastics with the nearest holiday. haha yyeah. sorry about those little metal guys, you'll be a babe when they come off i'm sure.

By greenfinch | 0

#10410 - Monday 2 March 2009 0:36

He is SO wrong...