theawfulpresent
Germantown, United States
Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Ella
United States
Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML
Anonymous
United States
Get out
Today, my boyfriend tried to break up with me again, and actually offered me gas money so that I would leave. FML
confusedandnowsingle
Espoo, Finland
Today, my boyfriend's proposal speech somehow ended with him breaking up with me. FML
stuck
Hägersten, Sweden
Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He decided to lock me in the apartment until I say that we are in fact still together. This is the 4th time he has done this. FML
ihateguys
San Francisco, United States
Today, I heard my boyfriend talking with my father in the backyard. I thought he was asking for my hand in marriage. He was actually telling him about his plans to break up with me. FML
and he wonders why I'm anxious
Netherlands
Today, after years of torment by my anxiety disorders and therapy and medication not helping, I've made the decision to try hypnosis. After doing a Google search and finding out my therapist is a man, my overly jealous fiancé insisted on joining, "because he might hypnotise you into cheating." FML
alltern8ive
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Like in the movies
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
HelpPlease
San Francisco, United States
Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. Midway through the speech I'd prepared, I fainted and hit my head against a wall. FML
hh.
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Clear Lake, United States
Oh, the humanity
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. When I got there, I got sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with him proposing to me. FML
catt
Berlin, Germany
Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML
Top comments
thelittlebirdie 9
2 reasons to take his advice: A) he obviously doesn't want to be with you. B) He's an idiot....
Jeffo193 13
What a coward, why doesn't he just break up with you? Unless you're some kind of psycho stalker who refuses to be broken up with, in which case I'd take the hint...
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Comments (76)
Steve95401 49
OP needs to turn the situation around and hypnotize her boyfriend into thinking he has a big package.
katties 27
How will that be any good for her? It's much better when a guy with a normal/smaller penis thinks it's big enough and has confidence in bed than when a guy with a big one is all insecure and whiny about it because he thinks it's small.
klovemachine 24
I believe 37 was referring to a recent FML
Roselfn_fml 1
Why, oh why, dear friends in my heart, you and destroy you, spilling crumbs on the ground of my brain that used to feed and foul beasts populating my worst nightmare, the image of the president and his henchmen molasson altersexuels fornicating without limits in the aisles of the National Assembly while men and women are starving in the streets of the country, without even a cucumber to sink into the ground - O misery enemy of the people - I beseech you, friends dear to my heart and my penis is more fiddle mammary glands member's green bushy mustache !!!!
RedPillSucks 31
Were you on the writing staff for Soul Caliber? I don't think FML is the place to flex your literary muscles.
Roselfn_fml 1
Ode to the erection of the penis By Andrée Putman O great rod, standing proudly in the wind and fall protruding veins leading causes your penis sensitive and cries that we can not tell at first if it is pleasure or pain, often two mingle in a thunderous ******. A big penis you take your sap in two large bags, ready to explode in the dissemination of white juice everywhere, the characteristic taste is salivating young and old. O great site, you turkeys holes without flinching fourraile and balls, soon to be filled with your sperm. A larger penis can take you, again, again, again, again, again OH YES
BellaFurfaro 12
Did it work?
fmlforreal92 8
I don't understand how people think odd these stupid ways to break up. just break up with them the normal way.
jatinbhanot 6
I hope you broke up with him when you realized what he did... what a loser.. :P
icepick23 12
Yawn.....
cmbar831 14
Did it work?
KiddNYC1O 20
Hypnotize him into getting smacked upside the head.
emma_penelope 0
What a Dick.
GingerNinja7 17
Kick him in the balls and tell him you were "under hypnosis"