Intimacy: Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of... - FML

By Krissy - 25/01/2010 08:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 555

You deserved it 4 643

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Same thing different taste

Not now, Kevin

By Noname - 16/01/2009 17:31 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 324

You deserved it 2 673

By orgasmicriding - 22/12/2012 22:55 - United States - Wyandotte

Spicy

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 252

You deserved it 7 004

By shopper242 - 22/11/2010 12:29 - France

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 921

You deserved it 4 098

By hahanosirr - 21/05/2011 20:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, my boyfriend finally succeeded. It came from his car bumping up and down while we drove down a pot-holed road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 093

You deserved it 6 121

By WellOops - 18/07/2018 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 669

You deserved it 9 670

Cramped

By chelse_elyce - 21/01/2015 04:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 836

You deserved it 13 367

Honky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 376

You deserved it 5 188

Oh hey how are you?

By Shelly - 13/06/2011 02:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 081

You deserved it 46 230

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 433

You deserved it 1 416

By rindawg - 20/01/2009 03:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 107

You deserved it 7 145

Next

Top comments

jpgray1982 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:31

I don't know if that is good or bad... Seahorses rule!

perdix 29

Monday 25 January 2010 16:41

What a crazy, random simile! What does that even mean? Does he want to be pregnant with your babies? Pack on a few more pounds and he'll compare you to a sea cow. Oh, the Hugh Manatee!

Comments

jpgray1982 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:31

I don't know if that is good or bad... Seahorses rule!

robotiick7 23

Friday 31 May 2013 12:11

Gold team rules!

ROFLsyrup 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:33

so? that's awesome.

MegMM 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:33

... don't get it. am I missing something?

Intrepidity 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:35

That's probably because you smell like fish down there.

perdix 29

Monday 25 January 2010 16:41

What a crazy, random simile! What does that even mean? Does he want to be pregnant with your babies? Pack on a few more pounds and he'll compare you to a sea cow. Oh, the Hugh Manatee!

flgirlwguitar 2

Monday 25 January 2010 16:54

Epic win. OP, what's the problem? Guys are seldom the most articulate. Besides, seahorses are cool.

Lee002 8

Tuesday 26 January 2010 3:53

Hugh Manatee = epically hilarious

v1kt4r 13

Monday 25 January 2010 16:42

has any of u seen a sea horse??? http://library.thinkquest.org/5512/seahorse.gif to stress for the slow trains, that was not a compliment, doesnt make it an FML tho, lose weight

happyhak 5

Monday 25 January 2010 16:48

...And?

boopityboppity 11

Monday 25 January 2010 16:53

On the plus side, at least if you decide to have children together, he'll be the pregnant one.

anela_fml 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:53

what the heck lol first off sea horses are small an I don't get I

afarr 0

Monday 25 January 2010 17:10

wha?

Cartain 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:55

So?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 299

You deserved it 14 749

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 060

You deserved it 13 424

The Top

Today, I went to my new job at a pre-school. I was really excited because everything was going so well, and a little boy even said he was drawing a picture of me. He even gave it to me when he was finished. Well it was me, but I was also on fire and being stabbed and shot multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 114

You deserved it 3 721

Today, I said to our pool-boy, "I know what you're doing, and you have to stop it." He started shouting that I had no right to tell them what to do and that they were in love. He was referring to his relationship with my eldest son. I wanted to tell him to stop drinking my beers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 632

You deserved it 8 831

Today, my girlfriend read an FML by some guy about fight he had with his nutjob of a girlfriend. It was so bizarrely similar to a fight we had recently that she accused me of not having any balls and bitching about her to strangers. It wasn't even my story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 877

You deserved it 2 074

Today, my parents gave me my birthday present. Two weeks ago, I'd ordered an Xbox online. Three days ago, it came to my house, and my parents thought they could save money by putting wrapping paper on it, and giving it to me for my birthday. That's all they got me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 324

You deserved it 3 511

Today, my roommate is super comfortable around me. Comfortable to masturbate while we are in the same room. I asked him to stop, which took some self-control because I wanted to shout at him. He said he needs to do it because of his shin splints. Whatever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 428

You deserved it 205

Today, after my boyfriend dumped me, my job cut my hours, and my toddler got an ear infection, all I wanted was a takeaway after I finally got her to sleep. I fell asleep too and never heard the doorbell, so they left my food by the door where rats got at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 249

You deserved it 191