Intimacy: Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of... - FML

By Krissy - 25/01/2010 08:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 542

You deserved it 4 638

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Not now, Kevin

By Noname - 16/01/2009 17:31 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 314

You deserved it 2 668

By orgasmicriding - 22/12/2012 22:55 - United States - Wyandotte

Spicy

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 242

You deserved it 6 999

By shopper242 - 22/11/2010 12:29 - France

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 902

You deserved it 4 096

By hahanosirr - 21/05/2011 20:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, my boyfriend finally succeeded. It came from his car bumping up and down while we drove down a pot-holed road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 075

You deserved it 6 118

By WellOops - 18/07/2018 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 663

You deserved it 9 639

Cramped

By chelse_elyce - 21/01/2015 04:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 823

You deserved it 13 360

Honky

By Anonymous - 05/08/2015 14:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 024

You deserved it 5 032

Oh hey how are you?

By Shelly - 13/06/2011 02:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 077

You deserved it 46 208

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 413

You deserved it 1 407

By rindawg - 20/01/2009 03:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 098

You deserved it 7 128

Next

Top comments

jpgray1982 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:31

I don't know if that is good or bad... Seahorses rule!

perdix 29

Monday 25 January 2010 16:41

What a crazy, random simile! What does that even mean? Does he want to be pregnant with your babies? Pack on a few more pounds and he'll compare you to a sea cow. Oh, the Hugh Manatee!

Comments

jpgray1982 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:31

I don't know if that is good or bad... Seahorses rule!

robotiick7 23

Friday 31 May 2013 12:11

Gold team rules!

ROFLsyrup 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:33

so? that's awesome.

MegMM 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:33

... don't get it. am I missing something?

Intrepidity 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:35

That's probably because you smell like fish down there.

perdix 29

Monday 25 January 2010 16:41

What a crazy, random simile! What does that even mean? Does he want to be pregnant with your babies? Pack on a few more pounds and he'll compare you to a sea cow. Oh, the Hugh Manatee!

flgirlwguitar 2

Monday 25 January 2010 16:54

Epic win. OP, what's the problem? Guys are seldom the most articulate. Besides, seahorses are cool.

Lee002 8

Tuesday 26 January 2010 3:53

Hugh Manatee = epically hilarious

v1kt4r 13

Monday 25 January 2010 16:42

has any of u seen a sea horse??? http://library.thinkquest.org/5512/seahorse.gif to stress for the slow trains, that was not a compliment, doesnt make it an FML tho, lose weight

happyhak 5

Monday 25 January 2010 16:48

...And?

boopityboppity 11

Monday 25 January 2010 16:53

On the plus side, at least if you decide to have children together, he'll be the pregnant one.

anela_fml 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:53

what the heck lol first off sea horses are small an I don't get I

afarr 0

Monday 25 January 2010 17:10

wha?

Cartain 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:55

So?

Keywords

Awkward Motherhood Health Transportation Money Lonely Dentist Sadness Work Abuse Nepotism Relatable Ironic Parents Miscellaneous Birthday Food AITA Intimacy Sex Virginity Love Mental health OCD Cleaning Housework Cute Creepy Argument Kids

The Top

Today, I had a softball team dinner, and I was sitting with a bunch of girls who were talking about how far they've gone with guys. One girl goes, "I must be the least experienced one here, I've never even kissed a guy!" Surprised, I said, "Me too!" and high-fived her. She was joking. I wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 561

You deserved it 9 847

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 691

You deserved it 9 546

The Top

Today, my aunt gave my cat aspirin because when she touched his nose he had a 'fever'. I came home to a dead cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 216

You deserved it 4 162

Today, two friends of almost ten years told my husband they had concerns about our marriage, and basically said they can no longer be friends with me. My husband and I never fight, and have other people tell us they are jealous of our relationship. The worst part is they still want to be friends with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 978

You deserved it 188

Today, I was kayaking with my family for my birthday when we tipped over while going down a rocky cascade. My husband badly cut up his arm, and my car keys and my phone both went for a swim and never returned. Great birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 461

You deserved it 8 668

Today, when I left for work at 7:00 am, my dad was playing Grand Theft Auto 5. When I got home at 3:30, he was still playing. I'm 18 years old. He's 45. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 495

You deserved it 1 272

Today, I was at a music festival, and my mum had told me not to to drink. Someone threw a cup of beer at me, and I was worried about smelling of alcohol. It's okay though, because a second cup of urine took the alcohol smell right away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 201

You deserved it 4 433

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 158

You deserved it 2 718