Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he likes me is because I let him watch porn without throwing a fuss. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend told me the only reason he has stayed with me for the last 6 months is because of the Netflix account. FML
Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML
Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend had been encouraging me to send him 'personal' videos was so he could sell them online to porn websites. FML
Today, I found a link to a porn website on my boyfriend's computer. A bit jealous, I asked why it was there. He told me that he thought thinking of me might get boring. FML
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Top comments
Googoo27 12
Maybe while he watches ****, you can find a new boyfriend.
every1luvsboners 11
Who doesn't watch ****? What do you call a girl that swears that she doesn't **********? A liar.
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Comments (163)
2ndSucks 15
Now if you would just act it out with him you'd be the perfect girlfriend.
perdix 31
I call them training videos. Point his browser to lesbian ****, then open you legs and lay back. You'll love his new skills. A guy who can eat pussy like a lesbian is gold.
Enslaved 38
So....if I tell a guy, "You eat pussy like a lesbian." that's a compliment? Who knew.
perdix 31
That's my opinion, but keep in mind, I am not a recognized authority in sexual etiquette. I also think women should take premature ejaculation as a major compliment. It means she is so sexy, he couldn't control himself. But, it doesn't work that way.
Enslaved 38
Well...premature ejaculation probably wouldn't be too big of a problem if he remembered those other training video techniques you were mentioning earlier. Lol 3 to 1 seems like the prefect score!
perdix 31
You play Count The Orgasms, too?!?! I'm lost 7-1 a few times and recently got drubbed 15-2! CTO is the game guys don't mind losing, as long as they get on the board. Shutouts are a disaster, though! Blue balls and the DSBs are the most common injury in the sport, followed by getting the shit knocked out of you by jealous husbands and boyfriends.
j_cat187 20
As Weird Al states it, "Just eat it."
Enslaved 38
Of corse, CTO. And I play to win because I'm a sore loser! 7-1 and 15-2? With all your threesome talk, I'm now wondering if it's the same girl you're speaking of? Haha!
perdix 31
CTO is the game where there are also "sore winners" ;) Alas, the threesome is an unfulfilled fantasy. Any donations to my Threesome Research Foundation would be greatly appreciated (and tax-deductible). It could be in cash or, heh-heh, "services" ;)
asktherunes 4
Have women lowered their expectations for a companion to breathing. If you have any self respect, hit the road & find someone who at the very least respects your feelings
bizarre_ftw 22
Only the women with a reason to write on this site :)
RickyRelations 5
I love you. That is all. No vote.
NEEPLES 7
Thats hot.
peace_sign 0
Atta girl!! Way to be a good GF!!
FU2causeUFML 2
That's not the ONLY thing. Cause that would be the equivalent of having no girlfriend, so the sex must be good or something.
zonata6766 0
dang thats messed up
zonata6766 0
wow thats messed up
abrownboy15 1
You're a keeper