Intimacy: Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today,...

By anon - 25/10/2010 05:42 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 617

You deserved it 7 125

Intimacy

Walk the line

Weird reason to leave, but OK

BO Central

The Omen 4

By jensoulstealer - 16/03/2020 20:17

Today, my year and a half old daughter has discovered the joy of temper tantrums. She is now throwing them constantly. Everywhere. Anytime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 385

You deserved it 323

Paaaaaaarty!

By Boyufd - 16/08/2019 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I'd planned an outside party in my backyard, and I'd invited all of my friends. Only 2 of them showed up. It also rained today, even though it wasn't supposed to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 164

By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 05:04 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, a customer told me that there was no way he was paying for his shopping. He then walked off. As it turns out, the customer IS always right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 336

You deserved it 3 270

By tiffylueg - 21/06/2016 13:38

Today, my allergies are killing me. I took a Benadryl to help, but the allergies are still here. I'm now chugging Mountain Dew at 9:30 in the morning to keep from falling asleep at my desk. Thanks for nothing Benadryl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 175

You deserved it 1 487

By PsychoSarah - 06/04/2011 23:57 - United States

Today, I got fired from my job. I caught a customer taking pictures up my skirt, and my boss fired me for calling the police and "making a big deal out of it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 567

You deserved it 7 238

By OuchImAMoron - 29/11/2013 02:05 - United States - Old Bridge

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 423

You deserved it 46 630

By Rachel247 - 01/08/2009 23:13 - Israel

Today, we had a hike at my camp. We hiked in a line. I suddenly felt things hitting me at the back of the head. After a few minutes I finally turn around, only to discover a bunch of older guys throwing tampons at my head. They were my tampons, falling one by one out of my unzipped bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 297

You deserved it 9 972

By whovian221b - 25/08/2015 22:46 - United States

Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 864

You deserved it 2 122

By Anonymous - 20/10/2010 22:22 - United States

Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 287

You deserved it 3 312

Et tu, Brute?

By Anonymous - 30/07/2018 15:00

Today, I applied for a new job as a maintenance technician. About 10 minutes after submitting my resume, I received a rejection letter. My girlfriend is their HR person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 260

You deserved it 438

By sucks_brah - 25/12/2009 07:25 - United States

Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 220

You deserved it 2 506

By computergeek - 26/01/2010 21:25 - United States

Today, my parents got me a new computer for my birthday. They also took the liberty of throwing out my old computer, with 8 years of photos, videos, music, documents, emails, and bookmarks on it. But that's okay, I had a backup. They threw that out too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 284

You deserved it 2 426

By I was just following orders! - 04/10/2018 12:00

Today, I visited my girlfriend in the preschool she's interning at. She asked me to continue reading The Little Mermaid to her class, handing me the book. After the story, the whole class started to cry. She never told me to sugarcoat the ending and lie, Disney-style. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 205

You deserved it 572

By Anonymous - 26/02/2011 20:19 - United States

Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My sister has been "borrowing" it so she can hold it against her crotch and repeatedly push the vibrate button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 370

You deserved it 5 147

By Embarassed - 24/08/2011 02:44 - United Kingdom

Today, at a party I bumped into a friend of my ex. We caught the same bus home. He started telling me about my ex's "totally insane" ex-girlfriend. He refused to believe me when I told him he was talking about me. I had to sit there for half an hour as my personality was ripped to shreds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 085

You deserved it 5 829

By Anonymous - 31/10/2010 04:25 - United States

Today, while cleaning out my garage, I found a pregnant spider. I couldn't step on the spider without releasing the baby spiders, so I went inside to get a glass jar to trap it. While trying to relocate the spider, I accidentally stepped on it. I now have a bunch of baby spiders roaming around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 567

You deserved it 7 173

Suspicious

By Anonymous - 11/09/2020 15:02 - United States - Boise

Today, I pulled over because my cell phone was ringing, as it's now illegal to use in a car. I finished the call when a motorcycle cop on side of road pulls up behind me and comes over. The reason? "You pulled off the road and it was suspicious, then I ran your plate…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 308

By initforthewrongreasons - 18/05/2017 02:00

Today, I texted my exes, not because I missed them, but because I wanted to know how their pets were doing. This holds true for at least 4 relationships. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 570

You deserved it 1 245

Rude but fair

By BeverlyC - 29/11/2021 08:00

Today, an overweight coworker of mine was saying that her favorite mythical creature is a mermaid, because she considers them graceful, carefree and aesthetically beautiful, like her. I absentmindedly blurted out, “Not with that body.” The word “sorry” didn’t cut it for the write up I received. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 2 797

Daddy's little girl

By what did I raise?! - 19/03/2021 06:01 - United States

Today, my daughter asked to use my phone to find hers. Instead, she sent multiple messages to my boyfriend, trying to break up with him. When asked why she did it, she said it’s because she wants me to get back with her father. This would be somewhat understandable if she wasn’t 32 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 232

You deserved it 103

Easy mistake

By helper - 01/12/2009 06:15 - Costa Rica

Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 602

You deserved it 34 634

By Cantswim - 20/05/2009 15:45 - United States

Today, I had to go take swimming lessons because my mom has a fear I'll drown and I'm totally afraid of swimming anyway and never get anywhere near water. My instructor? A high school classmate of mine. My fellow swimming classmates? 5 and 6 year old kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 496

You deserved it 9 951

By kisyfrot - 18/12/2008 03:38 - France

Today, I got fed up with my neighbor who has been coughing, night and day, for six months. I rang at her door to tell her about several remedies I know of to help, so I could sleep. I thus found out she has lung cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 258

You deserved it 27 053

By Taylor Page - 19/02/2015 16:24 - United States - Gainesville

Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 545

You deserved it 2 524

Got it

By Anonymous - 24/04/2021 23:00

Today, my ex asked me if I would reconsider a future with him. I said, “Only if we can learn to communicate effectively." He said, “Good talk, this time you actually got through to me.” Then he ceased all communication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 122

You better shape up

By anonymous - 18/07/2012 04:02 - United States - Silverdale

Today, I auditioned for the role of Rizzo in a local production of Grease. The director told me I wasn't tough enough, and that my persona too sweet and childlike for the part. I asked if I should instead try out to play Sandy. He replied, "I was being nice. Honestly, you're ugly and can't act." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 004

You deserved it 4 708

By mandybar15 - 14/12/2012 23:52 - United States - Norman

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 146

You deserved it 6 652

By imatotalloser - 28/07/2017 05:00

Today, after months of telling my landlord about the weak floorboards in my living room, I fell through them as I was trying to repair them myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 204

You deserved it 325

By st3phani3b - 26/11/2018 09:30 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I'm stuck at home waiting on a plumber to come fix the flooding in my basement. The flooding happens when any sink, shower, or toilet in the house is used. Today is also the day that I started my period. Without water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 656

You deserved it 209

The old switcheroo

By Anonymous - 05/09/2019 06:06

Today, I was unable to go on my dream vacation because I thought I'd lost my passport. Feeling incredibly stupid, I had no choice but to watch my plane depart without me. Shortly after, my brother handed me passport, saying that since I wasn't going on my trip, I could use my refund to pay for his cat's surgery. My trip was non-refundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 671

You deserved it 177

By Anonymous - 22/02/2017 17:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, my mom asked why my three-year-old son is named Trevor. After I told her it was from my favorite game, GTA V, she hit me over the head with a shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 736

You deserved it 12 401

Carry her home

By Anonymous - 16/05/2014 19:02 - Canada - Gander

Today, I helped an elderly woman push her grocery cart around the store, and look for her vehicle after she'd paid. After we spent ages wandering around trying to find her car, she remembered that she'd taken the bus today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 294

You deserved it 4 311

By HellaBomber91 - 20/11/2009 13:56 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boss listens to the things we say about him on the audio-enabled cameras at our work. I'm thus currently jobless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 061

You deserved it 40 575

By Unemployed - 21/09/2009 17:08 - United States

Today, my grandma picked up the phone. It was a man asking to speak to me. Instead of giving me the phone she decides to hang up on him, thinking it was some guy trying to "get with me." It turned out to be the call I've been waiting all week for... a call from a huge company about a job offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 674

You deserved it 2 733

By Moe - 25/09/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I discovered that I had lost my phone. I drove to the campus to try and find it, and parked in a gated lot where you pay when you leave. All the buildings were closed, so I had to go home. That's when I realized that I didn't have my wallet to get my car out. And no phone to call a ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 070

You deserved it 7 628

How romantic!

By dislocated - 14/02/2018 20:30

Today, my boyfriend dislocated my jaw by sitting on my face while trying to fart on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 607

You deserved it 848

By Holly Jolly - 26/12/2011 06:33 - United States

Today, I spent the day crying, and ate McDonald's for my Christmas dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 554

You deserved it 5 585

By Anonymous - 21/12/2013 07:08 - United States - Fairfield

Today, I came home after working on a difficult case. My husband wasn't home so I hopped into bed. My feet felt something and I reached down and picked it up out of the sheets. It was lacy black thongs. I don't own black thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 080

You deserved it 3 763

By Anonymous - 29/10/2014 17:06 - United States

Today, my dad vehemently refused to let me go on vacation to France with my best friend, because he watched Taken a few months ago and apparently forgot that it's just a movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 620

You deserved it 4 617

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 14:22 - United States

Today, I went to get a nice, relaxing hot stone massage. Instead I got second degree burns on my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 618

You deserved it 3 990

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Top comments

IrishWildMan 3

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Monday 25 October 2010 12:15

Well at least it wasn't gay porn....was it?

DjeePee 24

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Monday 25 October 2010 12:30

Sad. Really, this is sad. I'm thinking, why didn't you invite him in the shower, but maybe you did and he refused. Sad. There is nothing wrong with watching porn in a relationship. There is something wrong if the porn becomes more important than sex/the relationship itself.

IrishWildMan 3

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Monday 25 October 2010 12:15

Well at least it wasn't gay porn....was it?

scarletscribblez 0

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Monday 25 October 2010 12:18

O_o I almost commented and said FIRST... Ah.. Thank god I didn't, lmfao :P

Ali_Br_fml 33

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Monday 25 October 2010 12:59

or he's just a guy, and chose the easier target... some1 who was giving it away & wouldn't turn him down. but I wouldn't know. I'm just a girl

ohsuzykuew 0

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Monday 25 October 2010 13:12

Comment moderated.

xBangOut 4

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Monday 25 October 2010 13:41

Well OP, you must likely just deserve it. If he watches porn, means his sexuality is Ok, maybe there is something wrong with you.

Einstein714 0

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Monday 25 October 2010 13:48

maybe your ugly and boring

Nick_1993 2

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Monday 25 October 2010 14:54

26 your exactly right. and also if girls made first moves sometimes it would be easier.

BeachPanda 0

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Monday 25 October 2010 15:58

he watches it cuz hes not attracted to u that, or u just wont let him cum on ur face

skittle68 0

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Monday 25 October 2010 19:10

Fyl OP :( My bf got dumped once for watching porn, but he was watching it because he found out that his Gf at the time was praying for forgiveness while they had sex. Who would want to have sex with that??? Gives me the creeps just thinking about it...

KingDingALing 9

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Monday 25 October 2010 21:05

75- No, she doesn't let him cum in her face because she's afraid that she'll get dried cum in her hair.

iampunk 0

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Tuesday 26 October 2010 1:44

Lol kingding.

kendra19977 0

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Tuesday 26 October 2010 3:59

haha that's so from another FML

thatonek1d 0

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Tuesday 26 October 2010 4:33

almost every male watches porn!!!!!!!!! watch it with him while your still wet and naked from the shower. grab a camera and make your own porn.

mizzflory 5

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Saturday 19 February 2011 20:59

win (;

scarletscribblez 0

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Monday 25 October 2010 12:16

... Maybe he respected your privacy and thought it'd be okay to watch someone who couldn't give a crap about privacy :D Who knows, just a theory.

Ali_Br_fml 33

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Monday 25 October 2010 13:01

oh my comment was meant for you.

Mirorbo 26

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Monday 25 October 2010 12:16

Just sticking with what he knows, I guess.

supasxcprincess 0

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Monday 25 October 2010 12:17

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

77taylah33 0

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Monday 25 October 2010 12:37

how can you say she is "probably" fat for all you know she could be any size and it's not her fault he didn't want to get in the shower with her.

SeasonedLemur 5

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Monday 25 October 2010 13:40

He wanted to get in the shower with her but he simply physically couldn't! fatty fatty fat fat!!

spaceshan69 0

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Monday 25 October 2010 15:13

that's exactly what I was going to say. probably a fatty that he doesn't want to see naked. the laws of probability say that she is likely obese.

amazinggbaby 2

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Monday 25 October 2010 15:54

If she was obese and that's why he wouldn't have sex with her, why would he be with her?

spatz447 3

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Monday 25 October 2010 16:20

He likes chunky women?

brightnite 0

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Monday 25 October 2010 19:06

He's fat too?

iGrenade 0

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Monday 25 October 2010 19:15

15 + 73 are butthurt fatties l0l

amazinggbaby 2

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Tuesday 26 October 2010 1:49

It's funny that defending op automatically makes me fat "l0l". Grow up. I'm just saying, if he didn't find her attactive I doubt he would be with her. If he was into fatties why wouldn't he want to have sex with her if she was fat?

dbao9 0

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Tuesday 26 October 2010 1:52

lol burn

77taylah33 0

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Tuesday 26 October 2010 7:02

at 102 I was just stating my point shut up

77taylah33 0

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Tuesday 26 October 2010 11:50

#153 ok the op should have said something but not all woman are like that,, if anything guys are like that sometimes alot of woman just say what they feel most of the time

77taylah33 0

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Tuesday 26 October 2010 12:35

I am a girl and I can talk cause I am a girl and I don't think you can talk until you have dated every girl. and I'm just saying I tell mh boyfriend stuff and i don't just give signs

77taylah33 0

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Tuesday 26 October 2010 13:17

whatever I don't really give a shit if you think what I'm saying us true or not and i don't think what I do is the rule or whatever,, I'm just saying that you shouldn't say that you shouldn't talk for ever woman when you don't know ever woman,, sorry if I wasted your time or annoyed you just stating my opinion but anyways obviously it's wrong

penguinazul 13

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Tuesday 26 October 2010 19:35

I actually agree with OC here. I am so sick and tired of hearing about girls who are all cryptic about what they want from their guy, and then they get all bitchy because the guy doesn't understand. Taylah, you and I are exceptions, haha. More girls should be like us. Cause, like in this case for instance, getting in the shower =/= "Have sex with me!". Getting in the shower = "Hey, I'm going to take a shower." If she wanted him to join she should have said, "Hey, I'm going to take a shower -- the door's open if you wanna join." Girls are dumb.

swag2314 0

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Thursday 12 July 2012 0:13

Are you retarded?

turtleballz 2

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Tuesday 18 September 2012 23:58

Your a total bitch

ZeusBeDubsteppin 24

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Monday 16 March 2015 4:57

fish harder.

Nagi 21

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Friday 3 July 2015 8:11

#4 You fucking serious?

Oddyssis 0

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Monday 25 October 2010 12:21

Maybe he didn't think you would want to?

Selena_is_back 7

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Monday 25 October 2010 12:26

maybe you're not exciting???

pimpedout900 0

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Monday 25 October 2010 12:29

but you are though lol

DjeePee 24

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Monday 25 October 2010 12:30

hahaalolz 0

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Monday 25 October 2010 15:03

what this guy said ^

lotuspod 0

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Monday 25 October 2010 15:13

I'm pretty sure that's not a guy

icecreamdriveby 5

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Monday 25 October 2010 15:41

Emilie Autumn :)

bennyboy111 7

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Monday 25 October 2010 12:31

haha way a loser

dacho 7

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Monday 25 October 2010 12:33

...so? Even on days I have sex with my GF, I still fap once or twice that day. That doesn't make her any less appealing to me, I just love orgasms. You're weird.