Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
Shaving!
Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML
Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Bored
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Faithful
Today, I found out that my partner thinks love is more meaningful than sex, so it's okay to stick his penis in someone else. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Confusing
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Top comments
Hillaryy789 9
You deserve it for not having a penis.
chickunkey 0
Your boyfriend wants to have a sword fight.
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Comments (173)
knockoutmouse 8
Penis envy by proxy?
mikeyb123 0
******!!!
creedaddict 9
strap on
redtigerlily 5
It doesn't mean he is gay. He could mean characteristics. or alternatively alot of guys gave strap ons used on them in bdsm. It's kind of hot actually.
EpicCanadian 6
thats your fault for not being a sheman
lemonsquid 6
a toy penis!
EvilDave 13
YDI for dating a gay guy. Buy a strap-on.
malorie12 2
oh my.. that's totally gay!
RedPillSucks 33
pssst. He wants a shemale.
DarkoDe14 0
Did somebody say,... PENIS?