Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to hunt Easter eggs before we have sex. I'm glad he has his priorities straight. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend prays before and after sex, because he thinks he'll keep his abstinence by doing so. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to use glow-in-the-dark body paint to make an arrow on his stomach pointing down. I guess he thought he'd "spice up" the way he always demands a blow job before sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked when I was going to bed, because he wanted to have sex. With himself. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML
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Top comments
chellean11 0
Me. I don't see an issue with his priorities
ilovehamburgers 0
hunting Easter Eggs are awesome! and only comes once a year. you can have sex anytime.
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Comments (202)
fjretsel 1
hide the eggs up your ****. problem solved.
johnnybagodonuts 2
hahahahaha
Sniper3000 0
and he would never find them which means he won't have sex with her
JDiz83 0
haha i was gonna say the same thing!
onestarjv 3
yo boyfriend is a smart man
ciarafox9 9
who would blame him? I'd do the same :)
mintcar 10
Oh give him a break! You had sex afterwards, correct? So what's the big deal?
SolarGirl32 6
I agree
MegamiKaosu 28
agree
CitrusGirl 0
"Whine whine my boyfriend is interested in things besides sex whine whine" -OP
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
:D
docscientist 10
Sounds like the girlfriend is only interested in sex
5t3ff1k4h 47
22 - Not necessarily. Perhaps they hadn't done it in a while. Perhaps OP has kids and they were out of the house for the day. Perhaps it's her way of celebrating. This tells us how she feels on one day, not every day.
cupcakeslayer 0
#18 I read it the same way! but then though maybe the op is a little naive and thinks FML means fancy my life?
docscientist 10
Please don't hyper-analyze the fml due to my terse comments.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Apparently offering other perspectives equates to hyper-analyzing the FML? Hmmm... I guess I was under my rock when this was announced.
CitrusGirl 0
Cone on now let's all get along :)
docscientist 10
I'm cool with you steph, I guess I took the wrong tone with your comment, must be my hunger getting to me. Anyway, my comment wasn't meant to be taken at face value.
McMan 23
Lol but finding easter eggs is fun.
Igor_g5 0
Well seriously, fun before duty. LOL.
johnnybagodonuts 2
if it was the other way around you'd be bitching about how your boyfriend only thinks about sex
poppyseed420 9
exactly, so many girls just wanna complain about their bfs
johnnybagodonuts 2
it's like some girls choose to be pissed off no matter what a guy does. hence my default pic lol
johnnybagodonuts 2
more girls need to have some common sense like you, so us guys won't be totally ****** lol
jane79 0
more guys need common sense then they won't be ****** maybe she was really horny or maybe they had not seen each other in a few days and she just wanted to feel wanted or that she was important
SoccerRebel594 0
Or she is a sex craved bitch who needs enough common sense to see her boyfriend wants to have some fun that isn't sex. Ugly sex craved people like you (woman above me) bother the hell out of me.
docscientist 10
Just let him know you have eggs hidden inside you, then I'm sure all your problems will be solved.
HarrietPotter239 0
This is MLIA worthy.