By teegtwo - 22/07/2014 05:55 - United States

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 880
You deserved it 26 954

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Top comments

Start wearing masks. Batman is pretty awesome.

No one ever complains about having sex with Batman.

Comments

Right before he finishes now, let out the most disturbing bloodthirsty roar so he still can't finish.

Does being first mean that much to you, you had to put "G"? I mean it's a serious question.

I wondered the same. Congratulations #1. Achievement fucking unlocked.

Thank you, fellas.

Come on there isn't even a badge for that

Ha ha ha. This is the most brilliant FML ever. Put a bag over your head and leave the light on

I know this is early in the voting, but how did OP deserve it? In those uncontrollable spasms and moans, I don't think she needs to control her face expression.

Is your orgasm face the same as the thumbnail for GoatJesus' Shit Farts Online?

#2 your new aren't you?

63, I'm assuming you're not new on here, so it's surprising that you don't know the right form of *you're.

Start wearing masks. Batman is pretty awesome.

Then he might complain about having sex with batman.

No one ever complains about having sex with Batman.

Robin might of complained

But batman is a dude. I don't think any straight guy would go down on batman. And I'm not trying to be homophobic I'm just saying. Maybe another mask would do like CatWoman or something. I'd be down to go down on CatWoman.

Batgirl can be a good alternative. But as #26 said, I think Catwoman is a better choice :)

Id wear a Darth Vader mask, so then when OP gets pregnant she can say, "You are the father."

@liiiiiike, I guess that Batman joke flew right over your head buddy.

I dont know about that, if I were her I might go with the ronald reagan!

Or you could go doggie style. Solves all of the problems and mixes it up a bit.

Speak for yourself #26

I bet they make Batman sleep masks. *She* could be having sex with Batman, and he wouldn't have to see her face!!

Speaking of batman, we guys who put up a joker smile don't get the ladies as well as we used too...

Maybe try to control your faces in future to prove yourself to him

My virgin detector is off the scale with this one. Seriously though, you try controlling your facial features in one of these scenarios and get back to us on that...

39 is right...4 is obviously tight....

49: What a disgusting way to say that, especially about a stranger who appears to be a fairly young teenager. You really didn't need to confirm what someone had already said in a much funnier way, pervert.

#4 It's not at all easy to just change your orgasm expression. When you're reaching that peak, all you can really think about is achieving the orgasm. It's not at all her fault. I'm so confused as to why this post got so many YDIs. I hope that many people seriously don't think she does in any way.

And let's not forget your god awful bio on your profile. Seriously referencing dropping tabs made zero sense

Spoken like a true sycophant.

Oh my word I guess I should be more careful about what I say on the internet!

#61 dropping tabs refers to taking ecstasy tablets. Gives stop drop and roll a whole new meaning.

@ #60: we all learn new things everyday. But what if OP is an actress?

Oh please teach me how to have an orgasm (not a fake one) and control your face! I would be delighted and so would be the OP.

Wear a bag and make holes for the eyes lol. I bet this is gonna get tons of thumb downs xD

As soon as you say that you get thumbed down

Oh no I'll give you the first thumbs up

#8 Hahh. You got more thumb downs than me. Even I myself gave you one : :P

this thread is hilarious

Tell him to do something funny back during sex and even wilder, more passionate sexc times will follow. Trust me I'm a Love Wizard also...

Why would anyone want sex advice from someone who calls himself the 'Love Wizard'?

A guy who calls himself love wizard o.o I bet you take wands up your ass lmao. WINGARDIUM FILLMYASSUP xD

Woah there now, there's this little thing called a joke. In any case it was a bad one I admit and on a side note, I don't appreciate people questioning my sexuality because of a joke.

And they replied with a joke.

Yhyh, hot blooded moment. Disregard everything people, disregard everything.

I was reading a manhwa--Korean manga for those of you that don't know--about mages and wizards and the like, and in it, they reference a real world Korean myth that to become a wizard, you have to be a virgin until you're 25. Ergo, more of a reason not to listen to the "Love Wizard" :p

Maybe I've been on the net too long but I can't hear someone call themselves a Love Wizard without remembering that ancient email where someone has cybersex and halfway through comes out with the line "I put on my robes and wizard hat....." spoiling everything

#84: I want to try this now.

Tell him that its called Fuckface

That doesn't sound very attractive

@33 then it should match her face according to her bf...

Try a different position. The one where he won't be able to see your face.

Let him give you a donkey punch

You said that already. Wasn't funny the first time, either.