Work: Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor,...

By bbbbb - 14/10/2012 05:29 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor, causing me to drop the tray of water I was carrying, making me spill it all over her. After getting cussed out by her mom, I was fired for making a customer unhappy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 219

You deserved it 1 882

Work

Broken heart

Death wish

Too much irony

By Anonymous - 11/03/2016 12:20 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I forgot my phone on the roof of my car. I took a 30 minute drive from my friend's city to my city. I got on to my driveway, surprised to see my phone still there. Thinking I'm really lucky, I pick up my phone. Then, I trip over a pebble, cracking my phone in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 860

You deserved it 4 312

By anon - 25/09/2014 05:48 - United States - Germantown

Today, I have learned a lot of "big" words from reading so much, but can actually only pronounce about half of them correctly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 845

You deserved it 6 782

Volcanic eruption

By Anonymous - 10/01/2020 18:00

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 238

You deserved it 924

By Garry - 04/05/2012 21:53 - United States

Today, an exchange student was telling us how he once used a black light to detect semen stains on his "abstinent" ex-girlfriend's face. I called him out on the obvious lie, saying it's an old urban legend. He wigged out, screamed that I'm a "bastarding shite-wank" and ran out of class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 150

You deserved it 5 412

By Anonymous - 16/01/2015 22:15 - United States - Waynesboro

Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 010

You deserved it 6 080

By somebody - 01/06/2015 03:37 - United States

Today, the babysitter not only clogged the toilet, they tried to unclog it with our vacuum cleaner hose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 134

You deserved it 2 238

By pardon my English :$ - 09/08/2013 22:53 - France

Today, I let a friend read a draft of the novel I'm writing. She claimed the antagonist is blatantly based on her, and threatened to sue me if I don't pay her royalties. The antagonist is an ancient, insane goblin witch. I guess I see now how this confusion could arise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 432

You deserved it 3 559

By amy - 30/06/2018 19:00

Today, it's my birthday. I went downstairs expecting birthday greetings from my parents. Instead, they just sat on the couch saying nothing. Thinking they forgot, I casually reminded them. My mom scoffed and said, "Go do the dishes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 419

You deserved it 339

By Bucks9 - 07/05/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 169

You deserved it 7 107

By hairless - 09/10/2011 03:53 - Canada

Today, I learned the hard way that your little brother is not joking when he threatens to shave your eyebrows if you don't let him watch cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 384

You deserved it 6 755

By mike - 07/02/2010 07:16 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she carved her old boyfriends name in her arm and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 434

You deserved it 4 106

By nothesisforme - 11/03/2015 14:01 - France

Today, I asked my professor for his opinion on the subject I plan to study in my thesis. Turns out, he likes it so much that he's going to steal it from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 922

You deserved it 2 939

By Ouchies - 01/10/2009 22:31 - United States

Today, while cleaning up, I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 222

You deserved it 3 777

By Dino - 21/10/2018 14:00

Today, I drove a total of 4 hours for my boss to demote me, downgrade my pay, and make the kid I hired my new boss. Why? Because I asked about the $500 missing from my paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 756

You deserved it 167

By EternalBlossom - 14/07/2015 05:03 - United States

Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 448

You deserved it 23 905

By rejected - 28/03/2009 00:38 - United States

Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 156 950

You deserved it 28 797

By barman - 17/07/2010 20:51 - Australia

Today, while working at the bar, I was having a flawless night. Every pour was perfect, every shot expertly measured. I saw my manager for the first time that night, turned to greet him, and knocked over a tray of 30 or so glasses. Two remained unbroken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 667

You deserved it 5 322

By Anonymous - 08/06/2009 10:41 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 489

You deserved it 7 407

By Anonymous - 10/02/2015 04:12 - United States

Today, in an attempt to potty train my 2-year-old, I sat her on the toilet and waited for several minutes. I finally gave up and lifted her off the toilet just in time for her to pee on my new shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 830

You deserved it 5 818

The Rainbow Bridge

By fishyrael - 30/10/2019 20:00

Today, at my job at a pet store, my boss told me to go outside and hand out flyers. I saw a man sitting on a bench and walked up, saying, "Hi! Do you have a pet?" He teared up and said, "I just put her down this morning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 156

You deserved it 160

By ClothesHorse - 12/10/2012 19:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I was kicked out of a job interview at a clothing store for "not dressing appropriately" for the occasion. I'd purchased my outfit from the same store just two days prior with my last $100. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 626

You deserved it 5 426

By unicorn_skies - 18/01/2014 08:33 - United States - Yorba Linda

Today, I bought a new, expensive dress for a date. I left the tag on and hidden in hopes of returning it later. Someone saw it and ripped it off for me to "save me from embarrassment." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 531

You deserved it 57 505

We Are Family

By bad dad - 15/03/2020 00:01

Today, I met my paternal grandparents for the first time, since my dad was never in my life and my mom wouldn’t talk about him. According to them, I have at least 28 other siblings from him, and who knows how many that haven’t come forward. No wonder my mom always hated him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 825

You deserved it 97

By ilovecharliesheen - 17/03/2015 07:14 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 581

You deserved it 14 213

By life// - 08/01/2013 23:56 - Canada - Fort Mcmurray

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 602

You deserved it 5 173

By Nick - 14/07/2009 02:04 - United States

Today, while I was working as a waitress, I had to wait on a table of 13 people. I was struggling through it and when they finally left I went by the table to pick up my tip. Instead of a money I got a napkin saying "Here's your tip, don't be a waitress." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 553

You deserved it 6 905

By Al - 05/08/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I was leaving the mall. I Instinctively hit the unlock button on my car keys from across the parking lot. Little did I know I was making it a whole lot easier for the guy breaking into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 633

You deserved it 13 512

By zazzleface - 09/04/2012 12:23 - United States - Bergenfield

Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 217

You deserved it 2 358

By Tiak - 30/03/2009 18:08 - United States

Today, my mom has been calling me every ten minutes, asking me questions about her new computer. She called me at work, and I rudely answered her question. She called back, talked to my boss, saying she was a customer that called in, and I was rude to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 117

You deserved it 16 721

By Anonymous - 07/08/2019 16:00

Today, I woke up to my drunk mom trying to pee in the dresser drawer of our hotel, with my clothes in it. I woke up right in time to yell at her. Pants down and all. She started denying there were even clothes in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 654

You deserved it 96

By GonnaBeLonley2night - 13/09/2010 13:24 - United States

Today, my husband won't talk to me because he got mad when I asked him what he thought about 'that lame performance last night'. He doesn't believe that I really was talking about football. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 143

You deserved it 8 302

By erika - 28/07/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I got a sunburn all over my stomach from a tanning bed. In an attempt to relieve the itching, I looked up natural treatments since we have no aloe. After trying yogurt, milk and mayo I found out that our water was shut off so the shower could be fixed. I now reek of mayo and milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 822

You deserved it 46 856

Classy guy.

By This_girll - 20/07/2018 19:30 - United States - Ridgewood

Today, my boyfriend of a year went to a wedding. He didn't invite me, he took his ex instead. I saw it all on Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 527

You deserved it 348

Family goals

By Stephenstrange - 22/07/2021 13:59 - United States - Clinton Township

Today, I asked my mom to tell me how she met my dad, because after 15 years me and my dad are finally working on our relationship. My mom thought it was a good time to tell me he’s not my father, and that my biological father wants to meet me this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 62

By foreveralone - 23/06/2013 14:42 - United States

Today, it was the second anniversary of the day I met my girlfriend. I had to go to work, but I set an engagement ring and a letter on my pillow for when she woke up, and left breakfast for her on the counter. When I got home, she and all of her things were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 862

You deserved it 9 467

By well fuck! - 14/08/2019 22:00

Today, I was grocery shopping with my kids. As I was buckling them into their car seats, two men jumped out of a truck, hoisted my cart and sped off. According to security, this has become a regular occurrence at the store. My entire month of groceries gone in seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 114

You deserved it 119

By turnedintoinsomniac - 21/01/2011 19:46 - United States

Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 421

You deserved it 2 844

By Anonymous - 25/08/2018 20:30

Today, I spent half an hour on the phone with four departments at my college due to a mistake on my tuition bill. The last guy I talked to told me to call the financial aid office and hung up before I could respond. That was the first office I called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 624

You deserved it 147

By DBR - 23/11/2009 22:12 - United States

Today, I finally received a paycheck for the first time in six months. I celebrated by promptly falling down a flight of stairs and losing consciousness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 558

You deserved it 5 049

By fme - 24/09/2009 05:24 - United States

Today, I took the family to the Rainforest Café. There was no parking and I detest paying $12 for valet parking. I parked at Wal-Greens across the street in the only spot without a "patrons only, violators will be towed" sign. It was covered by the tree branches. It cost me $225 for the cab and fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 668

You deserved it 44 193

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Top comments

perdix 29

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Sunday 14 October 2012 16:47

Sounds like a shitty job anyways. You've got to do menial chores around spoiled rotten brats with their obnoxious, abusive, arrogant parents and are backed up by spineless, obsequious management. As with a cheating boyfriend, you can do better. Begging for small change under a bridge would be more dignified than working at that shithole with those shit people.

golfer_boi 10

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Sunday 14 October 2012 16:47

The customer is always right? Not this time.

golfer_boi 10

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Sunday 14 October 2012 16:47

The customer is always right? Not this time.

Futacy 29

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Sunday 14 October 2012 16:53

It scares me deeply that that this is the next generation. Pretty soon, these brats will be driving and voting.

mduffy08 8

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Sunday 14 October 2012 20:35

They say this... Every generation...

UncleMuscles 5

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Sunday 14 October 2012 21:12

I agree with 44. And who knows, the next generation could think glass condoms are a good idea.

gc327072 30

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Monday 15 October 2012 1:11

^shrapnel condom style

Futacy 29

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Monday 15 October 2012 1:46

^ You're doing it waaaaaaaaaaaaaay wrong. what a disgrace to 강남스타일。

panda_burrito 2

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Sunday 14 October 2012 16:47

God, I dont get people. How can they be so blatantly irrational. That sucks OP.

cr3ativity 15

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Sunday 14 October 2012 17:36

Because people like that believe they have certain rights which gives them a sense of self-entitlement which /guarantees their fucking weight in gold/.

perdix 29

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Sunday 14 October 2012 16:47

lucianaamelia 21

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Sunday 14 October 2012 16:51

100% agreed.

GothicAngel17 24

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Sunday 14 October 2012 16:52

Aww, perdix, you're always so bitter :') never, ever change.

gc327072 30

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Sunday 14 October 2012 18:43

Lol I can picture Perdix at a job: Boss walks up, yelling Perdix: "Sir have you had a nice cup of Shut The Fuck Up today?"

onlychildFTW 33

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Sunday 14 October 2012 20:15

Customers really are just jerks. It's like common decency is gone.

Welshite 39

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Sunday 14 October 2012 16:49

Getting soaked with water vs potential broken bones. Unreasonable customer. I would fight that termination if I were you.

JuliannVo 11

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Sunday 14 October 2012 18:19

Agree. ^^

Epikouros 31

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Sunday 14 October 2012 16:50

A ninja waitress would have kept the tray of water level while falling on her behind.

panda_burrito 2

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Sunday 14 October 2012 16:51

I remember that one...

ICastillo 24

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Sunday 14 October 2012 17:22

A ninja waitress also wouldn't have been seen at all

GothicAngel17 24

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Sunday 14 October 2012 16:51

Do you guys have Fair Work over there? Because I'd be calling them. That's unfair dismissal and I dare say it was caught on camera. Don't let them walk all over you like that, because they'll just keep doing it to people.

Matt_greener 8

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Sunday 14 October 2012 17:10

Unless Op was still on 3 months.

mikepzz 27

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Sunday 14 October 2012 16:51

jeebus op, that's rough! youre probably better off somewhere else if you got fired for that

ifuckmonsters 5

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Sunday 14 October 2012 16:51

At least it wasn't a Lego.

LoveGuru69 0

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Sunday 14 October 2012 17:04

God those hurt sooo bad when you step on them without shoes on

september1395 7

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Sunday 14 October 2012 17:35

19- oh really? I thought it might feel good-__-

cr3ativity 15

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Sunday 14 October 2012 17:43

26: It more or less depends on the situation. Pain: stumbling in the dark while drunk, and stepping on a triangle piece with your big toe. Pleasure: getting out of a hot bath, stepping on a Lego base plate (that big flat thingy whee you set up houses and buildings) with feet that have calluses from nearly a decade's worth of aikido.

msfudgemuffins 6

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Sunday 14 October 2012 16:52

that place doesn't deserve you anyway... if they would fire you for making one customer unhappy w/o even listening to your side of the story or anything