Well... If you got far enough with the dad for him to come onto you, I'd say you failed too :p

What?

I think #1 was using "come onto you" as meaning "ejaculate onto you". In which case it's a pretty good joke.

I would say the boyfriend failed... his intelligence. Either that or he's trying to make up a break up excuse.

I'm not gonna lie, I read "came onto" as "ejaculated" the first time and had to re-read. This app has harmed my reading abilities

What kind of a test is that??

Its a test you cannot pass, No matter what

Exactly. It's almost like the Salem Witch trial. "Throw her in the water, if she doesn't drown she's a witch. If she's a witch, burn her with fire." I think OP just found herself a couple of head jobs. Now she should make herself available for someone who's not so insecure.

The "Heads I win, Tails you lose" test. Flirt with the dad and you're unfaithful; don't flirt with the dad and apparently you're not attracted to partner in 30 years. OP, have a word with your boyfriend. I won't say break up because I don't know the details of the relationship, but serious conversation tie at the very least.

run, run away as fast as you can

Fuck running. I'd be hopping onto the next flight out of there. This is just... I am at a lost for words here.

When you see crazy, cross the street.

That's fucked up OP

Red. Flag.

I don't know if it's just a flag anymore. That's got flashing lights on a billboard screaming "Get out now!"

That's a horrible thing to do, sorry OP And you aren't the first person this has happened to. Fucked up world

I'm mad his dad agreed to that mess!

Sounds like the start of a porno n

How the hell did he get his dad to agree to that?

Dad was hoping OP would "pass."

Creepy as fuck that's for sure