Love and Intimacy: Today, my dad overheard me and my girlfriend having a very personal...

By kill me - 30/09/2018 03:00

Today, my dad overheard me and my girlfriend having a very personal conversation. His response was to burst into the room and ground me for a month for failing to get her to orgasm the last 3 times we had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 928

You deserved it 2 430

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Same thing different taste

By dadyoureacunt - 21/09/2013 13:10 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 522

You deserved it 7 464

By Anonymous - 21/03/2015 08:55 - United Kingdom - Aberdeen

Today, I overheard my dickhead dad telling my girlfriend she's too good for me, then asking if she wants to settle for someone like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 955

You deserved it 2 660

By rowie1311 - 27/03/2011 18:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 587

You deserved it 31 059

By _schaden_freude - 27/12/2015 17:31 - United Kingdom - Ashford

Today, my boyfriend's dad came onto me. I was shocked and awkwardly tried to exit the situation. My boyfriend then sprang out and started shouting at me. Apparently, it was a "test" to see if I would still be attracted to him in 30 years. I failed. What. The. Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 419

You deserved it 1 839

Make it stop, please

By Anonymous - 27/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 125

Great, just great

By Norwegian - 02/06/2012 16:55 - Norway

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 065

You deserved it 7 478

By talkssuck - 30/03/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 478

You deserved it 18 538

Busted

By Anonymous - 25/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, my mother asked me if my boyfriend and I were getting serious. I quickly lied and said no. She then informed me that if things ever heated up, she would take me to get birth control. Wanting birth control, I confessed. In turn she grounded me. I'm not allowed to see my boyfriend anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 703

You deserved it 28 883

Method acting

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 05:08 - United Kingdom - Frome

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 643

You deserved it 45 066

By Yoooooo0 - 29/11/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 073

You deserved it 3 724

real life problems 26

Sunday 30 September 2018 3:51

That's good parenting

donthatemebut 14

Sunday 30 September 2018 3:26

That will teach you.

Comments

donthatemebut 14

Sunday 30 September 2018 3:26

That will teach you.

Shawnie Gallant 24

Sunday 30 September 2018 3:36

You deserved it.

real life problems 26

Sunday 30 September 2018 3:51

That's good parenting

Mathalamus 24

Sunday 30 September 2018 3:58

Well justified punishment.

Hejira Hayes 8

Sunday 30 September 2018 4:00

YDI if you were only thinking of your own pleasure, otherwise FYL because keeping you at home for a month is supposed to build your skills in the bedroom...how?

skippydoda 32

Sunday 30 September 2018 6:55

Plenty of time to practice

bl3ur0z3 17

Sunday 30 September 2018 16:19

Home has a bedroom.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 30 September 2018 4:38

Now you’ll have a month to stay home and watch “training videos” on how to really pleasure a woman. They may be called “adult film actresses” but their responses have to be genuine. It’s the law!

ThrottleJockey 35

Sunday 30 September 2018 5:23

Okay, Donnie Baker.

distortedcognition 17

Sunday 30 September 2018 5:17

Ha! Your dad deserves a parenting trophy!

bl3ur0z3 17

Sunday 30 September 2018 16:22

Finally, a father teaching his child the importance of pleasing his woman.

Charlie Given 26

Sunday 30 September 2018 21:10

Umm wow your dad needs to be taught something called personal space and should have had this conversation in private if at all,and talk about a creeper for listening in on a personal conversation with your GF,if he thought it was so important for you to be a bedroom Superman he should have given you tips on the down low and not embarrass you in front of the GF🙄😡

cazziuz1983 9

Monday 1 October 2018 1:42

children have no right to personal space(or any right fir that matter other than a right fir food and a bed plus a education)if you are under the legal age of being an adult,then you are not an adult.that being said the dad could have heard it through a vent or some such,specially if it was a older house,lot of them have vent/air ducts that connect directly to other rooms,or perhaps OP and his gf were not a quite while discussing things as they though.