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Add a comment - Reply to : #
Well if he was so quick to say that about u...maybe this is for the best?
It must of been something horrible he said for you boyfriend to behave that way. Parents forget that when they are gone their children should be settled...should be if they want that. Really they have no right to dictate how your life goes unless you're a minor. Sorry for you OP. I hope it works out for you and your man.
Well, I'm thinking maybe it was more like the dad was trying to get this guy away from his daughter, so he sympathized with the boyfriend, calling his daughter a cheating bitch to throw the boyfriend off; hence the apparent emphasis on the phrase "single bitch".
yup!!! the one who calls u names, doesn't respect u... I understand something might have happened that pissed off ur boyfren but that doesn't mean he can divert his anger on u. If you don't wanna be a punching bag for the rest of ur life, my advice is.. move on. U definitely deserve someone way better. btw.. Its ur bf's loss not ur's.
Because dad's love their daughter's that's why. If I thought that my daughter was in an abusive or potentially abusive relationship I wouldn't wait for the guy to put her in the hospital if he gave me an opening like that then you damn well better believe I would trick him into dumping her. I would have talked to her first about my concerns but some people have blinders on. Her mom has a history of abusive relationships and I can see her potentially being at risk. So yeah sometimes you go that extra step. Plus it's infinitely more effective than a shotgun.
That's a pretty damn broad statement 2. Who knows what went down in there. Being a male and knowing how a lot of girls fathers are, it's very likely that the father made up a story or threatened him. I don't know, you don't know, we all don't know what exactly happened.
Well this is easier than the apparently pre-destined divorce you would've had, considering how fast he gave up on you. FYL, OP.
They probably were playing Mario Cart. I always get pissed off when I play that.
If you're an adult, you can get married without his blessing. He doesn't need to ask your dad first.
"It's just polite"? Then why doesn't the mom get asked? Why doesn't the girlfriend's parents get asked? No, it's highly sexist and implies that the woman is her father's property. In order for her to marry, her dad has to agree to relinquish control of his property to another family.
26, this OP knew about the (ex?) boyfriend asking for her dad's blessing, so no surprise there. Not everyone wants a surprise anyway, to judge by the number of FMLs where a guy got (deservedly, most likely) rejected for pulling out a ring without at least discussing the matter. Might just be my personal opinion, but I think it's much nicer if a guy treats me the adult I am and asks for MY blessing before getting my father involved.
30- First of all, the girlfriend's parents DO get asked. That's the whole point. I don't think the gesture implies anything about being the father's property, in MODERN times. 35- That's why I said "if" they want it to be a surprise, and there's no point in asking for the girlfriend's "blessing" instead of the father's; that's called a proposal.
38, I do think 30 went a bit overboard, but it's also pretty hard for me to get past the property-trading implications of the gesture that were in place only 150 years ago. I also think 30 meant to ask why the BOYFRIEND's parents aren't also consulted, which, all things truly being equal, is a good question. You're marrying into his family, too; if you really want the parents' approval, you should ask both sets.
30- While I have no idea what gender you are, don't you think that you might want to drop if you're arguing against several FEMALES? You're saying that it's sexist towards women, yet several women disagree with you. Let them fight their own battles if they think something is unfair towards them.
70, I'm from BFN, Colorado, and I don't know anybody who would think it's anything other than mystifying to ask the woman's father before you ask the woman. Sure, the guy might tell his family before announcing his intentions to hers, but why can't she bring it up with her own parents? In OP's case, hearing her boyfriend's proposal and then telling her dad about it (fighting her own battle, in other words) could've spared her from this whole issue. 87, I know you weren't talking to me, but I am female, and I find the tradition sexist and degrading by virtue of being so heavily linked to a time when women were seen as property. We've come up with so many modifications to weddings and the ceremonies surrounding them. Why not tweak this one so that it's a more comfortable distance from the bad old days?
The whole 'property' thing is an old custom. Now it's just polite. I would want my fiance to have asked my parents (both) blessing not for the 'trading', but because they would have good advice. Parents are supposed to look out for and want the best for their children.
I consider the practice to be a sexist old custom from when women were their father's property. If two people choose to get married then they can go to see each other's parents together to inform them of what they intend to do, but not to ask permission. If you love and respect a woman you shouldn't undermine her choice by asking her father if you can have her or not. In a lot of areas of the world women are still property, just objects to be traded and bought, why should we still be practicing any of those derogatory customs? It's viewed as respectful only because it's a social custom, but just because something is traditional doesn't mean it should continue. I am a woman, and I do not belong to my father. It would insulting for my fiancé to ask my father for permission to marry me. That's just one step away from paying him for me, as far as I'm concerned. When my fiancé and I got engaged, we informed our families together. They were, and still are, very happy for us.
To EVERYONE that's bitching bout this, if you think the practice is sexist then go ahead and tell your significant other about that. Who are you to tell someone that they shouldn't be allowed to ask their girlfriends father for his blessing? It's not your life. All of you are trying to shove your opinion down everyone else's throat and NOBODY GIVES A FUCK because no matter what you say, they will think whatever they want to think. Drop it. Jeez.