Today, my boyfriend got so baked, he thought I was in the washing machine. I came downstairs to find him sitting in a puddle of soaking wet clothes, crying about where I was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
Today, I passed out in the shower with my boyfriend. He just left me there. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend standing at the end of the bed staring at a large wet spot. Boy do I know how to pick 'em! FML
Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
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Top comments
trulypar 34
How sweet, he tried to save you from drowning in the washer.
SkullsRules1 26
That would have been a great time to just start talking and let him think that you had dissolved into bubbles.
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Comments (86)
PuppiesKisses 19
Sounds like some dank shit.
high_lo_Ren 6
usually when I get baked, I eat twinkies and laugh at family guy... not hallucinate weird sceneries. your boy does pcp!
MandieL 27
A hallucination would be if he were to see his girlfriend in the washing machine and dive in after her. He just thought she was in there. This is perfectly reasonable for a stoned person to think.
GrymReefer420 9
perfectly reasonable?..... no.... no it isn't lol. not from weed anyways
MandieL 27
It is a drug that can mess with your thinking. Perfectly reasonable, yes. I've been there.
LyricaSilvan 30
That is actually kind of adorable, in a really silly way.
shandu7 10
"Pot doesn't change who I am." "I'm safe to drive while high."
Brandi_Faith 34
I wish I could like this more times! Drives me nuts when people act like weed doesn't affect their mind or impair their mind and senses.
taylorw16 12
What the hell did he smoke? Haha
mrpresident95 6
At least he was crying about the loss of you.
Metallicality 5
That's called a bad trip
Yassjess 0
I don't think that's weed he's smoking...
praisejeebus 6
aww, he loves ya :-)
Boobookittyf96 10
ha-ha awh how sweet. at least you know he's thinking about you high asf. :)