Today, my boyfriend got so baked, he thought I was in the washing machine. I came downstairs to find him sitting in a puddle of soaking wet clothes, crying about where I was. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
Today, I passed out in the shower with my boyfriend. He just left me there. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend standing at the end of the bed staring at a large wet spot. Boy do I know how to pick 'em! FML
Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
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Top comments
trulypar 34
How sweet, he tried to save you from drowning in the washer.
SkullsRules1 26
That would have been a great time to just start talking and let him think that you had dissolved into bubbles.
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Comments (86)
RoseLich 17
He did try to save you.
mswim 27
That is some of the funniest shit I've read. Hope he helped you clean up, or at least makes up for it once he's not so high.
oldie_goldie 13
At least he cares about you.
vintageart1994 16
Aw he cares about you lol
xkbz510 13
at least it shows he cares? xD i think thats pretty cute.
whitetiger13131 26
At least he loves you?
suznmar 16
That is hilarious
Cenobyte 10
That's adorable. Annoying and stupid, but also adorable.
mishwarner 14
Haha, I once had so many shrooms I cried that the milk hated me when it fell out of the fridge (I didn't put it on the shelf fully or close the door properly). Good thing getting high has many enlightening moments to balance out the stupidity ?
stoopid1970 7
I want some of what your boyfriend had. Hey at least you know he cares and I think it's cute that he's doing that lol